She sat there.
Surrounded by friends.
And yet, inside
As the bread was passed around
lovely and golden
She thought of her sweet boy
the little boy far away
home in Minnesota.
The boy she fought so hard for
the boy who once was so sick.
And she cried.
Thick, heavy tears
that she had worked so hard to keep inside
now welled up in her eyes
and slowly began rolling down her face.
He’d never be able to eat that bread.
The bread that her friends shared,
passing around in fellowship,
is a poison to his little body.
And so she wept.
Tears that she tried to hide for months
thinking that she’d just be strong
after all, she’d tell herself, it was only Celiac Disease.
She’d tell her self at least it wasn’t this or this or that.
Yet, his life would be different.
He wouldn’t be able to eat the bread.
And it hurt her heart.
So so so much.
She’s his momma
the one who keeps them safe
and there is nothing she can do
to make the Celiac Disease go away.
She’ll pray and pray and pray.
Then her friends, her sweet friends, with her in Pennsylavania
grabbed her in their arms.
No pat answers
And loved her even as the tears fell.
And loved her as she finally cried.
And loved her for just being real.
And loved her.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
Finally, on October 30, she wept for her son Samuel’s Celiac Disease diagnosis.
And that she was me.