Breathe peace, try your best.

I’ve been learning, slowly because it’s not that easy, to let go of “managing”everyone and everything else.

Yes, managing.

I think that’s been my role as a mom for so many years – making sure lunches are packed and homework done and grades good and everything just so. It’s been my role in so many ways – I take on making sure everyone has everyone what they need and dots are dotted and everything is how it is supposed to be.

I manage, I worry, I fix, I manage, I worry, I fix, I manage, I worry, I fix, I show up.

It’s part of motherhood, part of life.

I run from here to there and fix stuff.

Honestly, sometimes it’s exhausting.

I haven’t known how to remove myself without feeling guilt or taking on things that I need to let go.

It’s led to me being anxious and feeling tense.

It’s led me to feeling resentful and unseen.

It’s led to me feeling tired.

And at times it’s made me reach burnout.

But lately I’ve had the realization that it’s not my job to “own” everything else and fix things all the time.

Sometime I need to show up, to do my best, and to let them learn.

Sometimes it means the laundry isn’t done or they have to deal with the consequences of lower grades or that I can’t drive to this event or that I decide to take a moment and sit on my front step and watch the sunset. Sometimes it means saying “no” or saying “yes” to things. Sometimes it means ruffling feathers because in the ruffling there is healing.

Sometimes it means this so that I actually find myself, my soul, again.

I’ve been trying.

Letting go.

Waiting to be asked.

Not responding to everything.

“Breathe peace.”

That’s what I tell myself.

Breathe peace, try your best, be proud.

That’s what I want you to hear too.

You don’t have to be responsible for everything – sometimes power comes in letting go and breathing peace and learning to choose. It happens when you know you are enough and that sometimes being enough means being willing to say, “enough.”

You are enough.

Thanks for all you do.

It makes a difference.

Breathe peace, try your best, be proud.

-Rachel