I see you.
I get it. I know how it feels to not be able to get that full breath in. I understand how the voices in your head and the expectations of the world seem to tell you that you’re not enough, you’ll never make it, and you’re failing. I just know how it feels.
Today I was talking with a friend and my eyes would well up with tears. But I couldn’t risk crying. Couldn’t risk them falling. Couldn’t. I had to keep on being strong, staying strong, being the one holding everything up.
But you know, sometimes it gets to heavy for even us “super” moms, right?
The weight of it all. It might not seem like that much on its own…homework here, finances there, kids over there and so forth, but coupled together and added up and up and up…it can suffocate a heart.
There are days, like this day, when I look around and think I can’t do this anymore.
It’s not that we’re failing.
It’s that there are seasons in life where it is just plain ridiculously hard. But no one freely talks about how hard it is, do they? They have solutions, and books, and plans, but then there is you and me, overwhelmed and heavy and just wanting a break.
I get it.
And when I get there, it’s easy easy easy to look at my days as a whole bunch of messed up mom years.
They are not.
But it’s okay that I feel that way. It’s okay that you feel that way too. Don’t let anyone ever tell you, “oh it’s not that hard, tomorrow will be different, it’s not a big deal” because it is a big deal. It’s hard to give so much and to feel so little in return. Life isn’t rainbows and unicorns.
Life is a fight at times.
And I’m going to say that. I’m okay with saying that there are times where I struggle. But I’m also okay saying that there are days where I feel like the queen of motherhood. And I’m even more okay telling you that most of my motherhood days are the same same same. Except lately, it feels like most of the days have more hard work than moments where I can sit back and think, “wow, I did great.”
So if you feel that way, right now, no matter if you have older kids or the little ones that never allow you to sit, let me be the one to tell you this, “you did great.”
You did great even if the house isn’t perfectly clean.
You did great if dinner is leftovers.
You did great if you cried behind the bathroom door.
You did great if you worked all day and came home to chaos.
You did great if the kids were late.
You did great if you feel like you are messing up.
You did great, sweet mom.
You did great.
You just did.
I need you to believe that you do great. That’s what I needed to believe today.
And that’s why I write about the moments I’m broken. Because in the brokenness I remember the truth.
The kids made it today. They got to school. They had lunch. They did homework. They know they are loved.
It might not be perfect.
But in it all.
I did great.
Thank you for doing great too.
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