don’t take this personally…

There are certain things in my home that drives me nuts.

Toilet paper and garbage.

My kids have this superhuman ability to completely ignore garbage and toilet paper. If the roll is gone they DO recognize the need to grab a new one, but DO NOT have the urgency or desire to actually remove the older paper roll and put the new one on the holder.

This phenomenon of oblivion extends to the garbage in my house. Truthfully, this might be more aggravating than the toilet paper except for the times I actually think the roll was replaced, pull on it, only to be met with the new roll all over the floor.

Both baffle me, by the way.

Listen, the garbage could be overflowing to height not yet seen and yet the solution is to shove it down over and over, precariously stack it like the best game of Jenga and my personal favorite of leaving the garbage on the counter next to the can. Rarely does one think to go under the sink, grab a new over priced bag delivered from Amazon Prime and replace it. (Let’s just completely ignore the final step of tying it up and walking out the house to the can…)

Sometimes, and this is no joke, I’ll think they don’t really love me.

Hahaha. Motherhood produces crazy expectations.

I’ll come into the bathroom and see the toilet paper sitting on the counter next to the toilet or on top of the empty roll and think if they cared about me they’d put in on the roll. If I come into the kitchen and see goldfish bags stacked next to water bottles next to a cheerios box designed to extend the height limits of the can and physics I’ll think if they cared, they’d make my life easier.

Proof.

Somehow in my crazy mom brain garbage and toilet paper replacing were a demonstration of love.

They. are. kids.

As the mom, I have to tell them take out the garbage. I’ve come up with theories about this blindness to need and have come up with three life lessons for me. Haha.

Out of garbage comes greatness.

1. They don’t see the garbage/toilet paper issue and thus don’t solve it. I don’t think they don’t really see that overflowing garbage is an issue. This is where the wisdom of life comes into play. Wisdom must be learned, not taught. I can guarantee you that all my children will understand the dire importance of garbage removal the first time they experience rotten cheese or onions lingering into a can the first time they come to their own place. Once you’ve experienced the result, then the issue is clear.  Most of the effects in our lives are due to us not seeing the initial issue and oftentimes the results make us want to change. Garbage lesson one.

2. They don’t care about the garbage/toilet paper issue and thus don’t solve it. I know there are some of you right now who are thinking, “duh, she could solve this issue if she established consequences to both situations.” And you are totally right. That’s what our job is a moms – to teach little ones to follow through and not cut corners. You and I are the ones that initially teach that this whole pesky issue deserves attention.  Now, listen listen, how many things do you whisper to yourself I don’t really care and yet deep down you do care? Don’t let not caring build up because, garbage lesson number two, you’re going to eventually have to deal with the overflow.

3. They are kids. This is the one I need to remember the most as a mom. My kids not completing their homework, not taking the garbage out, stacking the toilet paper roll, or whatever else we want to throw on the list of crazy things that kids do that drive us nuts, are not reflections of their love of us OR our mothering abilities. They are, again, kids. No child, or at least unbelievably few, are born understanding the laws and consequences of life. That’s our job. So don’t mix up love with parenting and lack of response from them. This is your job.

Teaching about the garbage is good.

Teaching about replacing the roll is good.

Not taking it personally?

Priceless.

From a mom with two bags waiting to be taken out by her eleven year old AND a roll sitting on top of the holder.

~Rachel