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Rachel Marie Martin

Rachel Marie Martin is the author behind Finding Joy and the book The Brave Art of Motherhood. She is fiercely passionate about living an authentic, joy-filled and driven life and because of that writes powerful truth for others hoping to be the catalyst for change.

I accept your faulty perception of me…
Find yourself

I accept your faulty perception of me…

by Rachel Marie Martin
written by Rachel Marie Martin

My therapist wrote these words for me to go over.

And over and over. And over. So much so I had her write them down so I wouldn’t forget. I think part of me feared them, and the truth, because that post it fell out in my van between my seat and the middle console. So then, in a moment of bravery of owning the words I snapped this pic. And then, I decided to share this truth with you all.

Now get this, When I first heard her tell me these words I was like, “I don’t really like that…it makes me uncomfortable.” And I squirmed a bunch in the seat.

So, as a good therapist would do, she repeated them and then had me say them out loud.

I squirmed more.

And in that uncomfortable, I realized a bit of truth – I hate being misunderstood. I hate the faulty perception. I couldn’t accept others not seeing me as “good” or “put-together” or < insert whatever fits in the moment >.

That dislike of the faulty perception only kept me trapped.

Bound into being a bit more quiet, bound into justifying myself, bound into being, as she put it “perfect enough” so I could hypothetically control the perception.

Other people’s perceptions are out of our individual control.

Did you hear that?

We can only control our own self.

We can do the best we can, we can try, we can be love and then we can live untethered to the perceptions others might make.

It allows our spirits to be free.
It allows creativity to flourish.
It allows relationships to develop.
It allows true self.

Friends, maybe this will help you.

I know it took a bit of cutting to my core truth looking at my heart to get to the place where I could say that with freedom

Showing up in this world mattters.
Being your true self matters.

So yes, life is about learning, and for me, a great deal of letting go. It’s about never believing perfection is the epitome, but rather that life – with its valleys and peaks and normal days – is truly the ultimate gift

Life is rarely perfect.

But honestly, it’s the imperfection that makes it beautiful. And for me, part of my untethered journey is finally getting to the place where I simply can accept a faulty perception

And move on.

-Rachel

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If you want to change the frenzy, change the importance.
intentional living

If you want to change the frenzy, change the importance.

by Rachel Marie Martin
written by Rachel Marie Martin

Think about this:

Our world is about keeping track. We track almost everything. Calories, likes, steps, grades, money, emails, friends, appointments, hearts, messages, and on and on and on.

No wonder we go to bed exhausted and wake up exhausted.

Our world is numbers and goals and gains and losses and to-do lists and expectations and balances and so much information.

But what happens if you decide to track this?

time to breathe.

time to be with family.

time to sit.

time to laugh.

time to walk.

time to feel.

time to remember.

time to connect.

time to just be.

There isn't an app or a notification or a person that can make you start to add those to your list.

Only you.

Only you can decide to set down the busy, just for a moment, and to tend to the real urgent.

The moments in-between the tracking.

The moments spent cheering on our kids.

The moments spent holding one's hand.

The moments spent listening.

The moments spent loving.

The moments spent being in the same space together.

The moments spent connecting.

If you want to change the frenzy, change the importance.

Track your heart.

Catch your breath.

Life is more than a number.

Life is about moments.

~Rachel

Finding Joy

ps....the moment above is one of my favorite moments ever caught on camera. It's of me and my youngest (now he's much too old for this) balancing on that raft at the lake. He's safe, there I am balancing him and whispering to him. This is motherhood, a moment, caught forever.

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sometimes you need a friend
Friendship

sometimes you need a friend

by Rachel Marie Martin
written by Rachel Marie Martin

Sometimes you don’t need someone to pat you on the back – you instead need someone to look you in the eyes and tell you that they believe in you but that you need to pull up your boot straps and fight.

Sometimes you don’t need someone to say “I’m praying for you” – you instead need someone to show up at your door with cleaning products in hand and walk in and help you out or bring you dinner or hold your hand during the hard things.

Sometimes you don’t need to hear that it’s just a season that you’re in right now – you instead need someone to love you where you are and to help you out of overwhelm and to believe in you when you doubt yourself.

Sometimes you need more comments about “seeing the good” in the moment – you instead need someone to tell you “this is not right” and to be there with you as you change your future.

Sometimes you don’t need cliche answers or a smile and wave – you instead need a friend.

The friend who sticks her neck out for you, that puts herself on the line, that shows up no matter what.

Sometimes doing the hard thing is the right thing.

So with that.I believe in you. I believe that you are worth fighting for you.

I believe that you have to stop believing the “excuses” and “passes” that allow you to stay stuck. I believe that in the midst of life and the crazy that you can find time for you.

Why?

Because you are worth it.

Did you hear that?

You are worth it.

And maybe you don’t hear that much in life so let me be the one to tell you how much you matter and how much your fight matters and how much your heart matters. Don’t quit on your dreams, don’t doubt your capabilities, don’t give yourself an excuse. You have now, today, my friend.

So pull up your bootstraps, look in the mirror, love you for you, and walk into the rest of your day with a bravery that is undeniable.

~Rachel

and ps….if you are the someone who does the hard things – thank you.

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four women sitting, only feet shown
Friendship

Be a friend…

by Rachel Marie Martin
written by Rachel Marie Martin

Be a friend who gives back. A friend who understands boundaries. A friend who gives.

Be a friend who decides hours of the day aren’t as important as being there when needed. Be a friend who listens. A friend who forgives.

Be a friend who cares about the details. A friend who remembers. A friend who tries.

Be a friend who loves deeply. Who gets that sometimes time will pass and there isn’t much connection and yet the friendship still matters. A friend who is willing to be there.

Be a friend who lets go of the petty. A friend who believes in dreams and cheers on. A friend who sees the goal.

Be a friend who fixes crowns.
Be a friend who wipes tears
Be a friend who gives hugs.
Be a friend who shares hearts.
Be a friend who stands in the gap.
Be a friend who sees.

Be a friend who is a friend you need.

Sometimes we spend so much time looking that we forget the giving.

Friends are priceless.

And chances are, when you love and give and show up, even in the imperfection, you are that to another soul.

It matters.

Your friendships matter.

Be a friend today.

-Rachel

ps….today, take a moment and think about those friends in your life. And then, let them know just how priceless they have been to you and your story.

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Be the one who sees.
the rest of the story

Be the one who sees.

by Rachel Marie Martin
written by Rachel Marie Martin

Be the one who sees.

Years ago I had to count every single penny I spent. I had to keep a tally in my head while shopping. I would stand there and add things up over and over and over. There was this time during the holidays when I was shopping at Trader Joe’s because way back then they had the most gluten free food and I had a toddler newly diagnosed with Celiac Disease, and I stood in the frozen aisle adding everything up.

I was over. And back then, when I was over, I couldn’t just check out. I didn’t want my card declined so the smallest edge over couldn’t happen. So I looked through everything trying to figure out what to put back. I kept everything everyone else would have loved – but put back the one thing I loved. It was a simple frozen package of chicken tamales. But that package was what put the total over.

I hated that feeling. Of not being able to afford that $3.29 package of tamales. But that was life and I moved on and forgot about it. It was what I did.

That night our doorbell rang.

It was odd because it was extremely cold and it rang at 8:30. I went to the door, opened it, and on my front steps were bags of food. Food from Costco and Trader Joes.

And on the top of the first bag I saw were those chicken tamales.

The same kind hours before I had put back.

So simple, yet such a profound life-changing moment.

Friends.

I cannot describe the tears, the feeling of realizing that even in my aloneness I wasn’t alone. The feeling that I mattered. The feeling of gratitude.

It is seeing.

I still have no idea who put all of that food on my doorstep. My kids were so excited about all the goodies. I was humbled knowing that even the little things mattered. And whether or not you believe in God like I do, in that moment I knew I was not alone.

Chicken tamales mattered.

So ever since then, that moment, I’ve made it a point to be the one who sees. To be the one who doesn’t chalk things up to coincidence. To see the one struggling. To notice the mom counting groceries in the corner of the store. To smile. To see.

Be one who sees.

Be the one who sees the hurting and gives.
Be the one who sees beyond the shadows and loves.
Be the one who sees the lost and shows up.
Be the one who sees the bags of food for sale for others and buys them.

We need a world of seeing.

We really need a world of seeing in the holidays. It’s so easy to be so busy and to miss the power of seeing.

See.

Change a life.

~Rachel

connect with me on Facebook at FINDINGJOY BLOG

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girl staring in a room
Live Your Brave

Sweet soul, be brave.

by Rachel Marie Martin
written by Rachel Marie Martin

Sweet soul, be brave.

I know that it is easy to forget your heart.

Your heart, that sweet pulse of joy and creativity that makes you, well you.

I know it can fade.

I know it can be hard to find it.
I know that it isn’t even what you planned.

It’s easy to get busy.
It’s easy to lose the flicker of passion.
It’s easy to forget what it’s like to laugh.
It’s easy to worry about tomorrow and forget today.
It’s easy to wake up and just move so fast and lose that joy.

It’s not that it’s planned.
It’s not like it’s the goal.

Life just happens.

And life has within it unexpected.
Loss and challenges and normal.

Unexpected.

But, sweet sweet soul, you are worth letting your heart matter again.

You are worth fighting for your heart.
You are worth looking in the mirror and simply being proud.
You are worth standing up for what you believe in.
You are worth being proud of your story.
You are worth it.

You can do this.
You can find that passion, that soul.

It’s brave to fight for your heart.
It’s brave to admit you’re lost, too.
It’s brave to give and to try.
It’s brave to be you.

It’s brave.

And friend, you are brave.
You know what? You are more than brave.

You are enough.
~Rachel

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