some simple thoughts on gratitude and why my heart adopts this posture. ~rachel
I remember like it was yesterday.
I was in the hospital with Samuel. We were stuck in a teeny short stay room for four days – a room that was an old icu room – because the hospital was full of children sick with rsv and pneumonia. The staff didn’t want to risk moving his room because his immune system was so worn, and he was so sick. And then, then we were told to stay in the claustrophobic small room – isolated even more.
I remember sitting there – with my messy hair, and worn out posture – in that room void of color in the bleak days of January. I had nothing to read, to do, and my cell phone had died days before. And Samuel, the shadow of the boy I had, would sleep and sleep in the crib only to be woken by medical staff coming in and poking and prodding him. My mother’s heart ached as I stared at him with his worn out body and I just wanted normal.
On the third day of sitting there waiting and praying for my boy to rebound from Celiac crisis I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I sat on the blue vinyl rocking chair with some show on TLC on the old tube tv playing above and I just cried. Big, fat, lonely tears poured down my face. It was that cry that once it starts nothing is going to stop it. I cried. Alone. In that ten by ten room while flakes of snow fluttered to the ground out the window and my Samuel slept.
Then I heard this sound – blip, blip, blip.
It was Samuel’s monitors. Beeping. Life.
And in that moment I became grateful. Profoundly grateful in the midst of the hardest week of my entire life. My boy, although critically sick, was living. Fighting to regain health in that hospital crib two feet from me. And I was so overwhelmingly grateful.
So I sat in the room and began to list off every single thing I was thankful for while the tears poured. Monitors, nurses, glutenfree bread that could have been a doorstop, Samuel looking cute in that hospital gown, the tv playing reruns of What Not to Wear, clean clothes that my mother brought me, doctors who were listening, medicine, ivs, a family life nurse that came into bring toys, the moments where the nurses would sit in the room with sleeping Samuel where I could take laps around the floor – and in that moment of choosing to be thankful my heart shifted. It still ached mind you – my son had been sick for months and months and months and literally was fading away in front of me. I didn’t forget or dismiss words like feeding tubes, surgery, more diseases, and yet, I allowed myself to look for beauty and good in that awful moment of hard.
I’ve kept that posture of my heart.
Finding joy. Choosing joy. Being grateful. Looking for the good. Loving the little things. Embracing today.
You don’t know how many days you have. I don’t either. So that is why I choose to be grateful and why I write about embracing and living fully awake. So as I sit here, on a Sunday morning, in a Starbucks with the sun streaming in, I am once again, choosing gratitude.
May you, on this week of Thanksgiving, choose joy.
My challenge to you, right now, is to write out ten things you are grateful for.
Type them in the comments, scribble them on paper, tweet some, write them on facebook, say them out loud.
Make the choice.
Here are mine.
Family. Coffee. Gorgeous sunrise on the way to Starbucks. Laundry that is finished. Hugs from a healthy Samuel. A pantry that is full. Time spent with friends. Artwork taped on the door. Time to write. Sunshine. Today – this blessed gift of now.
That face? That was my boy a year later. Â And I don’t take one smile, one day, for granted.
Now you do it too. Look for joy.Â
Blessings on this day to you.
~Rachel
Author of The Brave Art of Motherhood
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.
31 comments
Salvation through Jesus Christ.
My husband.
Our precious children.
Laughter.
Health.
Grace.
Living in a foreign country.
God’s provision.
Love.
The noise of our children playing together.
At this moment, I am thankful for…
Saturday evening Mass.
My husband coming home today.
The happy noise reverberating off the walls, because it means the kids are not fighting.
The crumbs on the kitchen floor, because we have food to eat.
A working dishwasher.
The gentle rumble in the background that tells me my furnace is working.
Coffee.
Chocolate.
My creative mind and soul.
My Faith.
And this post. Thank you!
Love these gratitude notes. Thank you Carlie and Susan for sharing a bit of your hearts. Beautiful.
~Rachel
Been there as well, Rachel. It is life changing indeed and I am so grateful that my child is healthy now as well. The experience made us stronger and more aware of our health in general.
Every moment in every day, I am grateful for!
Right now it is the sound of my children playing together (for the moment),
the hum of my wood stove keeping our home warm,
the new toy storage containers I got from the store to keep working on my project to organize our toy room,
the opportunity to paint trim today (as much as I dislike the task, I’m just so glad to have an open afternoon to work on getting it off my to-do list),
The sun shining so beautifully,
Fresh fruit and veggies in the fridge from our shopping trip yesterday.
Life is good!
my family both chosen and chosen for me
Coffee
Health
Sunshine
Holiday anticipation
Heat
Electricity
Food in the pantry
Fall weather
Hobbies I love
Here are mine…
1. My girls!!! 🙂
2. My girl’s health
3. My family’s health
4. My friend’s health
5. My health
6. Taking my 17 year old for ski clothes today, and her wanting to be there :-))
7. Picking up my 15 yr old daughter in NYC today from a weekend with her camp friends and getting to hear about it in the way home :-)))
8. Gas in my car
9. Power in my house
10. My friends near and far… Thank You!
Make it a great Sunday! 🙂
I sit here with tears streaming down my face so grateful for your blog. I have two littles 4 & 2, and my husband is deployed. It’s so so so easy to get bogged down in how hard and difficult things are right now. Making the (sometimes difficult) choice to be grateful despite circumstance is what I have been working on. Here are mine:
Faith
Rest and sleep
A niece that watches the littles so I can get mommy breaks
The 10 month deployment is past the halfway mark
My kids who, right this minute, are playing happily with each other.
Grocery shopping today
Coffee w/REAL cream!
Running/fitness
Quiet evenings after bedtime that are just for me
Good books
I love these lists. Gratitude is truly a choice – an effort – and when we live more and more with a grateful heart it simply becomes the posture of our hearts.
Blessings.
Rachel
God’s grace and mercy!
a healthy son – 5 years after heart failure.
a brilliant, loving, mini-me son – he’s learning to kick away his fears in ways I didn’t until I was an adult.
an amazing husband, who I know is ALWAYS ON MY SIDE.
the chance to spend a year skating roller derby, and the grace to get out at the right time.
and today – silly pirate songs, as our older kid gets ready for his birthday party.
Family
The ability to visit family hundreds of miles away
Coffee (even if it is instant)
Rooms for my family to sleep in, even if it’s,not as many as we’re used to
The one yr old napping in my arms
The three yr old napping in his “room”
The mother in law who cares and tries
My amazing husband
Slippers
God changing my attitude at the beginning of the trip
I am thankful for tea, clean laundry, open windows, friends who care, naps, a warm home, my appetite back, an excess of toys so I can bless other kids, beautiful kids, a hubby who takes the baby when I need to get better. 🙂
1 Sun today
2 A wonderful visit from a friend
3 Beautiful photos which she took
4 A warm house & roof that dosen’t (touch wood) leak
5 good health all round
6 Good food & plenty of it
7 Loving, caring extended family
8 Wonderful, hard working husband
9 Clean water straight out the tap
10 This blog
Salvation by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ to save me.
My lovely family-wonderful husband, two great boys, and two adorable girls
A loving church family
Health for this moment…it is such a fragile thing.
My mom and sisters & brothers
A warm home up in cold Canada! 🙂
My mom coming to visit from the States this week-yeah!
God Who never forsakes me
The opportunity to homeschool my children
The Bible to read freely
And always thankful for your encouraging blog. I’m so glad that you got your little boy Samuel back to his healthy self!
1. For a father who modeled a committed work ethic and belief in family values.
2. For a mother who was always there for her children and never resented a moment of the time it took to raise us.
3. For children who have made me incredibly proud of them for their accomplishments and for their differences.
4. For the unconditional love and trust that comes from grandchildren in ways that you can only understand by experiencing it.
5. For second chances and the ability to both accept them and give them.
6. For all the positive people in my life who see the glass as half full – looking forward with hope and anticipation.
7. For mentors who’ve believed in me – encouraging me to stretch myself, think differently, and look beyond the obvious to see what others don’t.
8. For the opportunity and resources to help make a difference in the lives of others.
9. For the realization that no matter how difficult the challenges in my life may seem there are people who would exchange them for their own in a heartbeat.
10. For a country that enables me to live, learn and love where, what and who I choose – and all the men and women who protect and defend our freedom.
My loving partner
My sensitive daughter
My happy son
New friends
Old friends who will always be soulmates despite distance
Our own little house in a beautiful neighbourhood
A Mum & Dad who love me so much & a spunky little sis
A Christmas tree in my lounge
Taking the opportunity to help a friend today
Sunshine
1.My family that is traveling over a thousand miles to spend Thanksgiving with us.
2.My amazing husband.
3.My beautiful daughter.
4.My church family that challenges and encourages me.
5.Our warm, safe home that is full of things we enjoy and don’t really “need.”
6.Plenty of food to eat.
7.My and family’s health.
8.Good friends.
9.Creativity and ways to express myself.
10.A loving God who never gives up on me and daily calls me to a deeper relationship with Him.
I’ve been there with my own Samuel in the hospital. Ours was asthma related. It’s scary.
I’m thankful for:
my children
our health and strong bodies
my husband
God’s grace and mercy
a roof over our heads/clothes/food
blogs like this one
knitting
great friends
my past…for bringing me to where I am now
chocolate
I think I would have been crying a lot sooner than that.
This will be one of the best Thanksgiving celebrations our family has ever had. We’ve been through a major family upheaval but have finally gotten everything resolved. It’s all good!
Always praying!
Psalms 139:1-3 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
My email address
1. My 2 beautiful little girls who arrived after years of trying and thinking it would never happen.
2. Free health care (in Australia where I live)
3. My husband’s job
4. A fridge full of food
5. A church that values and empowers women
6. Clean water
7. My gym membership
8. A huge backyard for my kids to play in
9. The beautiful smell of frangipani outside my bedroom window
10. Coffee
By the way such a great post thank you, you always inspire, challenge and encourage me!! (The post from caz1975 was me, didn’t realise it automatically signed me into my old account)
1. The ability to talk to God through prayer.
2. Waking up early and having quiet moments to myself.
3. Running/exercise and the way it has changed my life.
4. The blessing of being able to stay home with my kids.
5. Good health for all of my family.
6. Coffee
7. Hugs and kisses I get freely from my 3 year old every day.
8. Great friends and the technology that allows me to keep in touch with them.
9. Great and affordable health insurance for my family.
10. A husband who I love as much as the day I married and who would do anything for me.
coffee, a warm house, healthy children,food to eat, live in the greatest nation on earth,Jesus’ blood,children’s laughter, baby squeals,washing machine,my family.
I started this list a couple of weeks ago, right after I’d spent a morning listening to the stories of folks signing up for Christmas assistance at our local Salvation Army. That morning put all kinds of things into perspective for me:
1. the job I sometimes hate, because I have a job. And it comes with a secure paycheck and generous benefits.
2. My aching feet, because that is all that’s really wrong with my. I enjoy good health. I don’t have to drive hundreds of miles every month to and from dialysis. And I don’t have to live with bated breath waiting for a new kidney.
3. The petty disagreements with my husband. Because I have had a partner by my side for 24 years. Disagreements and all, we know and love and support each other.
4. Driving my kids to practice, even when I’d rather not. Because they are healthy and smart and engaged and love life.
5. The hassle I had to get my old range and dishwasher carted away, because we now have some beautiful, new, quality appliances – and getting those very necessary replacements won’t completely ruin our chance of having a good Christmas, but will enhance it.
6. The cold weather – which I do not like. Because I have a warm home that I own, and warm clothes that I like. I don’t have to borrow someone’s couch or stay in a shelter or shop for my clothes at clothing bank.
7. For fretting over the little things – because they are just little things to fret over. In the grand scheme of things, I am loved and respected and secure.
And the three I’d add now are:
8. My two wonderful boys – even when they’re tearing each others hair out and messing up the house – because I love them so much.
9. The brilliant colors of fall – bright leaves and blue skies. Those colors will saturate and sustain me through the dreary winter days.
10. Friends and family who are scattered very far away around the world, because they represent the richness of my life and history. Oh… and for my internet connection that lets me keep in touch with them!
1. my beautiful, healthy kids and family
2. baseball
3. 70 degree days
4. clean water
5. old country music
6. great friends
7. my job
8. really good food
9. diet coke
10. gardens
Thank you for writing this and for reminding me to be grateful! I needed it as I struggle to rest in this 39th week of pregnancy!
I’m thankful this moment for:
1- My four-year old, who is loving, witty, smart, and funny!
2- The movement of the baby in my belly, reminding me that he or she is safe and hopefully healthy.
3- My warm and comfortable home, particularly this chair in my living room, where I end up spending my sleepless early mornings.
4- Our dog who loves us unconditionally and tolerates our flawed human love.
5- Financial stability – not because we have everything we could ever want, but because we don’t have to worry about what we’ll eat or where we’ll sleep.
6- Family. Who would I be without my parents and my siblings?
7- Really good, reliable friends. They’re like my family. Always there.
8- A particular sleeping boy’s little head. I just want to kiss it and lay next to it and smell it all night. It’s the weirdest thing to be a Momma and love the smell of your children.
9- Fall. Coming winter. Anxiously waiting for the first big snow that sticks!
10- Finding so many things to be thankful for and realizing how easy it is to get to 10 and how hard it is to stop there!
health, my 6 fabulous kiddos, my hard-working, servant-hearted husband, grace, laundry hanging on the line in late November . . . in Minnesota!, sunshine, creativity, friends, books, our libary.
thanks so much. your blog is a blessing to me!
just curious what that great font is you used for the word “choice” in that first picture? i would love to know if you’re willing to share. thanks. (you could answer in the comments or email me at kirbyandshana {at} gmail {dot} com thanks!)
My sleeping 2 year old in my arms.
My little girls smiling blue eyes.
My job.
Faith in Jesus Christ!
Chocolate.
Sunshine coming into my family room on this rainy day.
Family.
Clothes.
Prayer!
Friends.
http://prowessandpearls.blogspot.com/2012/11/where-is-your-heart.html?showComment=1353336470434#c140058930598221037
Beautiful and powerful post, Rachel! May I continue your encouragement to your readers with my post? It speaks to your story…
The most beautiful post! I blogged my ten things xx
My one year old son
My husband
My parents
Family
Friends
Mine, family, and friend’s health
Faith
A roof over my head and food we can afford
Freedom
Beautiful.
~Rachel