dear moms with little babies

this post was inspired by the five hours where I was absolutely blessed to watch my dear friend Maria’s two and a half month old daughter Emma. Spending time with her in my home reminded me of those days when I’d have new little ones in my home. Those hours with a little baby in my home brought back all those days when I was so grateful to get a dinner on the table. Memories.

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Dear Moms with Little Babies,

Your main goal right now?

To be a mom to that sweet little baby in your home.

I know. You’re reading this thinking about all that you have to do. Or more than that you’re thinking about all that you got done right before that baby came home. Remember those days of nesting? The cleaning, and sorting, and cleaning again, and the decluttering? Of course you do. But, you cannot do that right now. You absolutely cannot be thinking about those tasks or how behind you are from your once scheduled routine. Let go of the worry that you’re behind – it will only frustrate – and instead simply expect that your life won’t feel balanced or normal.

It is beautiful to have those new babes in your home. There is new life, new joys, new laughter, new energy, new smiles – that you, the mom gets blessed to share everyday. But, dear moms with little babies, it is also completely exhausting. You are on demand every single second of the day and night. You get no sleep. Your house is in disarray. You can’t remember what it’s like to be caught up on laundry. You are lucky if dinner is done before seven pm.

Give. Give. Give.

The days blur into weeks and you’re tired. And after a while you kind of wish for the order that you had in the weeks earlier. Oh, I know you love that little one. I know. I’ve been blessed to bring home seven little babes into our home. And seven times I’ve had to learn how to relearn how to do life. Yes, that’s it. It’s a surrender of control, and a being willing to embrace a new version of normal.

So I’m telling you that if you are offered help – take help. I don’t care if the laundry is piled up, if someone wants to help you then you open your door, you smile with your tired smile, and you let them bless you with help. Don’t apologize for the piles of laundry, or messy floors, or your hair being in a ponytail. That’s okay – you’re doing something amazing right now – you are nurturing a baby fulltime. You will have your turn to bless others, but now, right now when you have a new little one in your home you need to be blessed.

But, what if you don’t get help? Then you need to give yourself extra grace. And you, tired mom but blessed mom with your newborn, you chose one thing each day to accomplish. Do it in bits throughout the day and when you are overwhelmed or tired look at what you’ve finished. But give yourself that grace. Your home, especially in those early newborn months, is not a reflection of who you are and your homemaking skills.

Relish these days –  these sweet babymoon days. I look back and remember those little babies that were content to sit in my arms. {When they sleep – you simply must rest – and that is good.} I know it’s a blur, and it’s oh so tiring, but there is something almost magical {even in the exhaustion} about holding teeny little ones who only need you. They’ll grow and these busy days will just be a distant memory.

Sit now, hold your little one in your arms, and look at that teeny face, that little face that will someday call you momma, and rest in the joy and the gift of being a mother. Rest. Do your one thing. Accept help. Breathe. And don’t compare the normal of right now to your normal. The normal will come, and with it will be an integration of a new life, a new little one, into your life.

You, mom of a little baby, are blessed. Busy, exhausted, craving normal and sleep, but blessed.

Enjoy your babymoon.

It will soon be a memory.

*****

this post is part of an ongoing series of letters to moms. Other letters include –  dear mom with the little on crying in the store, dear am in enough momDear overworked mom, dear overwhelmed mom Dear Moms with Littles,  Dear Tired Mom,  Dear Mom of the Little Boy with Celiac Disease..