dear tired mom

Being a mom is exhausting, isn’t it?

You wake at the crack of dawn with a to-do list that is already behind, and you move and run and give of yourself all day long. I think tired is too weak of a word to describe the exhaustion of motherhood.

There are mouths to feed, and floors to scrub, diapers to change, books to read, laundry to do, quarrels to resolve, and bills to pay. There’s homework, dinner, phone calls, email, relationships, permissions slips and bedtimes with kids needing just one more drink of water. You clean only to have the next room made a mess. You cook and then cook and then cook again. And the cry, that constant cry for mom, it just keeps coming all day long in a variety of forms.

Then there’s the worry and fretting and stuff. You know, about health, education, and <gasp> if you’re being a good mom. Here’s a secret.

You are a good mom.

We live in a world that tells us that our kids need this and that and that we as a mom need to be a certain way. You know, creative all the time, patient forever, creating learning opportunities at every bend, limiting television, reading all day long, and through it all we’re to have a spotless home, with homemade dinners every night, and never behind laundry. And we’re supposed to do it all with a smile and with us never seeming like we’re about to crack.

That? Well, that standard is impossible, my friends.

That ideal makes the tired mom.

So I’m asking you  to let go of this expectation. of motherhood.

So often it’s based on outward things — appearances — and loses the heart. You could have a beautiful home but miserable children. You could have little Einsteins, and yet they could be stressed.  You could push and push yourself, but you end up exhausted.

The hearts must come first.

Theirs and yours and your families.

Not the expectations, but the seeing of the beauty of the little things.

When we start to live thinking of the hearts first and the beauty of the moments it allows a bit of space so that the expectations of tired can begin to fade away. It won’t take away the sleep deprived going going going – but maybe just a bit of the need to do and should have done moments.  Being a mother becomes more about being aware and less about achieving the next mothering ideal.

Now, listen, I’m not saying that it’s bad to clean, or to cook healthy meals, or to have smart kids. No, those are all good things. But, not if pushing for perfection wears you out and dims your mothering spirit.

You are the perfect mom for your kids. Right now. Today.

Yes, you.

You’re not alone. We may all look like we’re never ready for a nap, but chances are if given the chance we’d be under those covers and asleep in no time.

The more we stop trying to compare and compete and look like we’ve got the perfect lives the less tired we will all become. Let us be about encouraging, building up, and loving each other. Motherhood is a journey, not a competition.

You can do it.

I absolutely know that you can.

From me.

Another tired mom to all of you.

~Rachel