written on a monday evening after returning from a three day conference
I’m writing to you because today that was me.
Or at least it’s how I feel right now.
I’ve walked into a home with sick children, some very sick, and a messy house, and laundry to do, groceries to buy, rooms to clean, dishes to wash, teaching to be done, a lawn to be mowed, and a to-do list longer then one side of paper. Honestly? I just feel overwhelmed. It’s like I’m peering at a world, my life, with so much to do and just me staring at it not knowing where to start.
I kind of want to sit in the corner, put my head in my lap, and have a good cry.
But, then there’s my two year old saying my name, and the four year jumping from a stair higher than I let him, and my six year old asking to play a game, my sick eight year old having a coughing fit, my ten year old not wanting to unload the dishes, a fourteen year old who was supposed to teach ballet, and an almost sixteen year old who needs to rest.
And I must make dinner, but between you and me, I cannot find my counter.
I know I’m not to live in overwhelm. You’re not either. So here are my words, what I remembered, while sitting on my couch looking at every single thing that needed to be done on that way too long list.
It won’t last.
You are not alone.
You are not the only mom who feels overwhelmed at time. I know it feels like this – I know because sometimes I peer at the lives of others and think holy moly do they have it all together. And then I wonder what’s wrong with me or why I’m so lonely or what I need to do next to get better and then all of that percolates and bubbles and I’m left feeling very much alone.
Life pushes so much on our plate.
Do this, do that, do more, do less, do extra, do and do and do. It’s exhausting and overwhelming and sometimes can feel very lonely. But, you, are not alone. All those do things don’t define us as mothers. They simply don’t. Do not measure your worth based on what you have left to do.
Oh, dear overwhelmed mom, you will move out of this feeling.
I know you will. I did.
You’ve done it before.
You’ve done is so many times and those so many times have added up to days and they are all tucked within the fabric of the days called motherhood.
Now listen, a good life and happy isn’t dependent upon having everything perfect – my counters are still buried, my dishes waiting to be done, and the house a mess.
Sometimes it’s me being willing to sit in real and not strive for perfect and change my heart and perspective just a bit.
Here’s the truth. Humbly, I wanted everything done immediately.
Not possible. So not possible. That’s where my overwhelm came – I saw way too much to do and made it impossible for me to get it done in the five minutes I wanted it fixed in. So instead, I changed my perspective – and I did one thing. I sat down, watched two little boys of mine blowing bubbles into their iced tea, and I laughed.
I laughed. Even though part of me wanted to cry. So I found a bit of joy that I missed when I let overwhelm rule. Here’s the truth:
You’re stronger than overwhelm.
So mothers, stand up, brush yourself off, and find one thing to do.
That’s it.
One thing.
Not the entire to-do list. Not the whole laundry room. Not all the vacuuming. Not the super fancy dinner. Not getting the entire summer planned out. Not the whole encyclopedia of mom stuff to do.
You can do one thing. You can. Just keep doing one thing. That’s it.
Hug those kids. Play with them. Let them make you laugh. They need you.
You can beat overwhelm.
And you will.
~Rachel
38 comments
I do hope your kids are feeling better and you find your counter. I have been there…thank you for the reminder that it will pass and that we shouldn’t define ourselves by what we have left to do.
Rachel, this is beautiful. How well you describe a place I’ve been many, many times. And, what perspective and encouragement you brought out. Thank you!
Great post and so true!
We all get to that point at times and this is a great reminder of what is important and that society’s picture of the perfect mom need major adjusting.
Have a wonderful day! :0)
Your advice is now my mantra. One thing. What’s the one thing (out of 100) that would be best for me to do right now. Usually mom can do one thing and delegate a few other tasks – unless her kids are sick, like yours. We were there so recently with The Four Day Fever going through our family. The crabby two year old about did me in.
We are not alone in the sense that other moms go through the same overwhelm and can sympathize, and we are not alone when Christ is there to carry us through. We are not alone when our husbands help out and do what they can. But unless we have friends and family to lend a helping hand, oftentimes moms are very much left to themselves to accomplish a daunting list. It’s humbling, but can be a path to sanctity.
This post blessed me so, Rachel. Just one thing,and keep on doing one thing.
Thank you.
all i can say is
thank you.
coming home can be so overwhelming! I leave again this weekend for 2 days and I can imagine my coming home… 🙂 but, being a mom is so completely worth it!
Thank you
Lovely words. I was blessed to come home on Sunday to a happy, smiling family and I somehow overlooked the chaos all evening.
It waited for me. It smacked me right in the face Monday evening when we got home from work/school. It took a softened heart (thank you 2:1!) and a rock-solid act of my will to just focus on doing the dishes and chatting with the kids and let the rest go. But the Lord blesses our commitment to choose joy! 🙂
Rachel, this is a wonderfully encouraging post. Thanks for sharing your difficult experiences to inspire us to be the best mom possible. Enjoy your blessed day.
I’m having one of those days. I rarely cry when I’m not hormonal, but I’m crying today. I don’t have little kids. I have 3 big kids including an 18-yr-old who has lost his way. They hate you, they think you’re annoying, they can’t say anything without exasperation toward you, they don’t appreciate all the things you sacrifice for them, AND to top it off, everybody likes Dad better. And when Dad doesn’t like you either, what are you to do? I hit my knees and beg for God’s help. I HATE to be so negative, but at least those little sticky faces and runny noses love you. Revel in it when they wrap you up in hugs and give you little presents. Later, even the sweetest ones probably will not want you near them – at least for a few years. Lord, as I let their hands go, please help me cling tighter to Yours. Again, sorry to all you wonderful ladies out there for my weakness and need to vent today.
Sorry!
Yet another beautifully inspiring post from you. My morning cup of coffee just isn’t complete without reading your daily blog posts 🙂 I hope you and the kids have a lovely week! 🙂
Just beautiful. Yes, I am choosing God and choosing JOY. Praying for your sick ones to be completely healed. It was a true Joy meeting you this past weekend. Blessings to you my friend!
Thanks for that. It made me feel much better about the long do to list waiting for me.
I love how you said it requires a change of heart and of perspective. Sometimes hard to do but so true. Recognizing that you are letting the overwhelm rob you of joy needs to be at the forefront of our minds, mine in particular 🙂 Beautifully written Rachel, thanks for being such an encouragement to us all.
Rachel, I can’t post my post anymore, because it sounds nearly identical to this!
I was thinking last night about how overwhelmed I feel. Wanting to clean, and cook and clothe the kids and also wanting to spend time with them and teach them and remembering what I did with Jack at this age and do walks and crafts and whew…it overtook me and I thought about how I just need to focus on one thing at a time and not everything at once.
Pick something to work on and then move on….and then I read this today 🙂
Ah…so good. Thank you 🙂
Love this. Love that I can hear your voice as I read your words after chatting this weekend.
hi 🙂
I just discovered your blog, and have been blessed by the few things I’ve read.
And I can so relate to this post. Family. Homeschool. Ministry. Business. Overwhelmed is a common feeling. And I often have to remind myself to just “do the next thing” (thanks, Elisabeth Elliot 🙂
And, as my husband so often says: our goal is not perfection, it’s faithfulness.
always learning this lesson. thank you for the sweet reminder. blessings to you!
“You are stronger than overwhelm.” is what I needed to hear. I found myself saying that about a certain situation today.
Even as I tell my oldest daughter that was going to get married next month…through the heartache and disappointment, you’re still breathing.
I have to remind myself of that.
Thanks so much for this! I so need it. I’m a single mom and tend to live in ‘overwhelm’ if not careful! The most important things…aren’t things. They are little people around us.
time to say goodbye to overwhelm for the day. he’s stayed long enough.
Tricia
Saw a link to this on Mother Letters… such a great and well-timed reminder. Thanks!
Thank you for this. A message I needed to hear.
Thank you so much for this! I feel like you just peeked in the window of my heart and wrote what you saw! I am a mother of five, from seven to 15 months, and a military wife with a deployed husband who won’t be home for another 5 – 5 1/2 months! And here lately overwhelmed has been my story – EVERY DAY. The Lord has really been speaking to my heart about this and showing me that some of my overwhelmed is because I let too much slide that I should have better prioritized – the rest of the overwhelmed is from having an ideal picture in my mind of what should be happening and how everything should look everyday and forgetting what matters – MY CHILDREN – MY FAMILY! I lost so much of the joy in the blessings of my children that I felt I had more than I could handle. And I did – way more than I could handle – but not more than I could handle with HIM as my guide! And when I started taking JOY again in the Lord leading me and trying to focus on following and serving Him, it was only a matter of days where I found the wisdom that I had forgotten for so long in how to make things easier, and hopefully in the long run, happier – in my home. And am now able to say that the joy of having my semi-large family is returning, even to the point of knowing whether we stay this size, or grow – anything can be handled if I forget to get overwhelmed with the work and remember to get overwhelmed with love for the Lord and my family 🙂 Thanks again for the article, because I am sure that along this road, I will still struggle sometimes with the ‘overwhelming idealism’ that creeps in to my mind, and then it will be a blessing to remember that I am not the only one who feels that way, but I can rest assured that I know the One who can take care of it all!
Thank you so much for this! I feel like you just peeked in the window of my heart and wrote what you saw! I am a mother of five, from seven to 15 months, and a military wife with a deployed husband who won’t be home for another 5 – 5 1/2 months! And here lately overwhelmed has been my story – EVERY DAY. The Lord has really been speaking to my heart about this and showing me that some of my overwhelmed is because I let too much slide that I should have better prioritized – the rest of the overwhelmed is from having an ideal picture in my mind of what should be happening and how everything should look everyday and forgetting what matters – MY CHILDREN – MY FAMILY! I lost so much of the joy in the blessings of my children that I felt I had more than I could handle. And I did – way more than I could handle – but not more than I could handle with HIM as my guide! And when I started taking JOY again in the Lord leading me and trying to focus on following and serving Him, it was only a matter of days where I found the wisdom that I had forgotten for so long in how to make things easier, and hopefully in the long run, happier – in my home. And am now able to say that the joy of having my semi-large family is returning, even to the point of knowing whether we stay this size, or grow – anything can be handled if I forget to get overwhelmed with the work and remember to get overwhelmed with love for the Lord and my family 🙂 Thanks again for the article, because I am sure that along this road, I will still struggle sometimes with the ‘overwhelming idealism’ that creeps in to my mind, and then it will be a blessing to remember that I am not the only one who feels that way, but I can rest assured that I know the One who can take care of it all!
Not the best of days here, either…
Praying hard!
Psalms 59:16-17 But I will sing of thy power; yea, I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning: for thou hast been my defence and refuge in the day of my trouble. Unto thee, O my strength, will I sing: for God is my defence, and the God of my mercy.
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Oh so good..I shoulda read it before my afternoon, not AFTER it– I was in a the place “overwhelm” too, but didn’t handle it as well as you. 🙂
His mercy’s are new every morning. Thank God!!
Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Thank you!
Thanks so much for this. I just found out we’re expecting our 4th child..when he or she arrive, my oldest will be just barely 5! While we’re excited, it is overwhelming. So thank you. 🙂
I hope everyone is healthy soon!
http://ramblingsmom.com
Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
Psalms 61:1-4 Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.
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thanks for the motivating post
well written : )
found time to blog though…
What an incredibly encouraging post. Thanks. A lot♥
Thank you for your inspiring quote. We have all been there and we all will be again.
You handled it with grace.
And to you “Anonymous” coward who said, “found time to blog though…” I say, “Shame on you!” for being such a coward hiding behind no name and a critic who probably either has no children of their own or lives in self denial of superiority. A little person belittles another for sharing her trials. A big person admits their shortcomings and helps others who do, too.
Wow. Thanks for writing this! I completely understand all too well! Reading your post makes me feel a little better and I will remember your words always and forever. Thanks again! <3
Sincerely,
~Amy
As mothers we sometimes get depressed. All the mundane work that needs to be done, its overwhelming and we often fee hopeless. We ask, “does the regular mothering day really matter?” Yes it does! The diligence we put into our families, the dishes and child training, serving when no one else sees…Paul says it’s a Good Deed! Bringing up children, disciplining them, and teaching them the principles of Jesus is a good deed. Mothering Matters! Jesus mother has, Mary, been highly esteemed.
She is well known for HER GOOD DEEDS, SUCH AS BRINGING UP CHILDREN, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. 1 Timothy 5:10
I hope the above verse encourages you to run to your quiet time or turn on your worship music when you feel like you are a failed mother. Life as a mother is CRAZY! But it matters. Pray for your kids. Spend time with God daily to be refilled for the next moment of spills, scream, snuggles, and sweet dreams.
Xoxo Michelle
I really needed to find this today. Thank you.
Love your site and every post.
Very encouraging and inspiring.
Just what I needed…Thank you