why your kids just need you

I pick my son Samuel up from kindergarten every day.


Pick up consists of a whole bunch of parents crowded into an entry way, making small talk and waiting for our five or six year old to make his way up in the pick up line. We’re all standing there – all with our stories and our lives and our trials and awesome moments – and we’re just waiting for that little one we call ours.

The truth is that every single kindergartener gets excited in that line.

Not because they are in the line.

Not because they are first (well, maybe sometimes).

Not because they tied their shoes.

Not because it’s Friday sometimes.

Not because they’re standing by their friends.

But because they see their mom (or dad).

Every day I watch.

And every day those little faces light up with joy with seeing their mom waiting.

The funny thing is those kindergarteners don’t see all the stuff that we probably see or we’re probably carrying. I know there are times when I walk in that entry way super stressed. I’ve been dealing with bills or animosity or really tough stuff. And there are moms in that line who have new babies and are tired.

I’m sure we’re all giving ourselves lower grades than we deserve.

But our kids?


Our kids simply see their mom.

They see the person they love. They see someone who shows up again and again and again and day after day after day. They see that.

Not the imperfections.

Sometimes we can forget the simple things that make our children happy. We think that we have to do all the Advent stuff or the Christmas traditions and bake dozens of cookies but we miss that maybe our kids just want us.

They want us despite how we see us.

So maybe it’s time that instead of us feeling like we’ve messed up or worrying that we’re not doing enough we start to see us the way our kids see us. It’s like what I wrote in the article a mom that shows up – maybe we need to start seeing us the way others see us.

When I see the other moms in that hallway I see bravery. I see women that keep fighting despite being exhausted. I see moms who race in from work to pick up their kid and doing what they need to do. I see hope and awesome and beauty.

And I see a whole bunch of love.

Every single day.


When those littles run to their parent it is love.

There is joy and exuberance and happiness.

I think that’s what I want you to remember tonight. Maybe you’re tired of this whole motherhood thing. Maybe you’ve just had enough. Maybe you’re needing a break. Maybe you’re wondering if this even matters. Maybe you just need a friend. An encouraging word.

This is that.

Carry on brave mother.

Your kids don’t need perfection.

They just need you.


3 Responses to “why your kids just need you”

  1. December 11, 2015

    Crys P. Reply

    I felt like giving up today, but know my kids need to see a brave mom. A mom who will be there no matter what, even when you don’t feel like it. I appreciate you posting this.

    From an exhausted, but joyful Mom

  2. December 16, 2015

    Robert Reply

    My wife showed me this article because I’m actually the one who picks up our kindergartener every day. I wait in the entry way with a bunch of moms (and a few other dads too!) and my daughter starts waving to me as she walks down the hallway and gives me the best, most sincere smile. After working a full day, this is the moment my “real” day starts and I get time with my family.

  3. September 3, 2016

    Jen Oliak Reply

    Such great writing! Bravo.

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