My facebook stream was littered with posts about the Black Friday craziness. There are YouTube videos of people fighting over $2 toasters and people punching people and crazy lines and just this overall crazy entitlement to stuff. I don’t mind deals, shopping, and having fun. I’ve gone shopping on Black Friday before and I love the deals. I don’t love the pushing, shoving, and waiting forever for my Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks (it’s always Starbucks, right?)
But, truth is, it’s just stuff.
Stuff that we’re going to have to put in our homes and deal with and manage and garage sale and complain about and purge and clean and dust and take care of as the days pass.
So it got me thinking – what do I want my kids to really know about Christmas? Which resulted in my list below.
So here are my 25 Things.
1. In our house, Christmas is about Jesus. That first. The rest follows.
2. The stuff goes away. Relationships do not.
3. Always smile and at least thank the Bell Ringer at the store. Do not look away. Gather change beforehand to give.
4. Take time to slow down and appreciate the little things. #littlethingsmatter
5. Always say “thank you” to those working at the stores. And look them in the eye. And smile.
6. A handwritten note is always worth the effort.
7. Family matters. Take time to learn about family. To invest in family. To love.
8. Better to be less busy than to be crazy busy.
9. The number of presents received does not matter.
10. Baking makes a mess. It also makes memories.
11. It’s okay if the bottom of the tree is full of ornaments. Someday it will look perfect.
12. Christmas music should only be played after Thanksgiving until New Year’s Day. (haha – my own silly rule – this one has caused debate – the beauty is you ALL get YOUR cool rules.)
13. Traditions matter. Establish them. But always allow room for new traditions.
14. Even if life isn’t perfect there still can be beautiful and joyful moments.
15. Give to others first. And giving back isn’t just a December thing – make it a year long thing.
16. Sometimes the Christmas tree falls over. Fact. Just pick it up and try again.
17. Smile. Smile. Smile (notice a theme?). And give others grace as you don’t know their story.
18. Cultivate and celebrate the spirit of wonder in little kids.
19. If other kids believe in Santa Claus and you don’t – don’t ruin it for them.
20. Always buy your wrapping paper after Christmas when it’s 70% off at Target.
21. You won’t get everything you want. Be grateful for what you are blessed to receive.
22. Write a Christmas list. Save your list. Someday you’ll enjoy looking back at them.
23. Take time to listen to others and to learn their stories. So really, just slow down.
24. You can say “Merry Christmas” to others even if they just say “Happy Holidays” to you.
25. Be grateful. Be thankful. Love your family. And remember why you celebrate Christmas.
It’s not about stuff.
When we lose focus then this Christmas season has the potential to become this crazy hectic want to pull our hair out month where we breathe the sigh of relief that it is January. And you know what else? Remember number fourteen – even if life isn’t perfect or what you expect or all of that – there can still be good and joy.
It’s the little things. Look for the joy, the good, the wonder, and all of that first.
Merry Christmas!Â
What’s on your list?
All photographs used by permission and credited to Hannah Nicole.
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.
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76 comments
Of course you can listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving ;P
I love your list. I had to laugh about your no Christmas music until after Thanksgiving; especially since our discussions for the last couple of weeks has been that we should be listening to some Christmas music all year long.
Hahah! Yes, about Christmas music. I just had to add that one as that’s a silly rule of mine. 🙂
Rachel
In my house, the music doesn’t play, the tree doesn’t go up and the lights don’t get turned on until December 1st at the earliest 🙂 It’s my own silly rule LOL
I love it all so much. My favorite was about baking and making a mess–but also memories. That is what I remember about the holidays growing up. My daughters and I enjoy it together now–messes and memories and taste-testing.
You are such a lovely soul. I am grateful for you.
1. I think you can always listen to Christmas music.
2. To me, Christmas is about Family and friends first, religion and all that second. Regardless of what my friends and family believe, they are my family before, during and after anything else…
Jesus is the reason for the season. He should always come first. Without his birth we wouldn’t be even celebrating Christmas at all.
1. Faith (Its not about religion ever, it’s about your personal relationship with Jesus)
2. Family
3. Friends
If your life is in this order everything will run as smooth for you and your family as much as possible at Christmas and the whole year through.
Blessings my friend.
Yeah, I agree about the Christmas music. It’s just my own silly rule. I can only handle it so long! 🙂
Thanks, Mike. 🙂
rachel
Lovely sentiments I’m looking forward to sharing with my family. Did you know your non-religious readers agree with 24 out of 25? Our differences are virtually non-existent. Merry Christmas to you.
Very nice! Inspires me to make a list for my family. Thanks!
Beautiful and thoughtful. We celebrate YULE in our household as well as the spirit of Christmas so to speak year round.
If we listen to sacred Christmas music during the season of Advent/Christmas we listen from just after Thanksgiving until mid-January. And that’s just right. 🙂
Thank you all for your comments. And I really appreciate the anonymous comment about religion – it’s a cool blessing for me to hear from you. Thank you. 🙂
Rachel
Lovely…
I’m with you on the Christmas music. It’s great, but after a while some of those songs that get in heavy rotation on the radio start to grind on my nerves 🙂 We have the exact same Christmas music listening rule in our house!
These are all nice…except for saying Merry Christmas to everyone even if they say happy holidays to you. You should teach your children that there are all sorts of people out there. Not everyone celebrates Christmas and that is ok. Diversity is ok. People say happy holidays because they want to wish you a happy YOUR holiday; not THEIR holiday. Teach your kids to acknowledge and respect diversity and the differences amongst people.
Everyone wishing everyone else “Happy Holidays” would rob us all of the celebration of diversity. I would be as delighted to be wished “Happy Hannukah” as I would hope my wisher would be to hear “Merry Christmas”. No offense is ever meant by well-wishing. And doesn’t it get tiresome living in the land of the chronically offended?
I do prefer Happy Holidays. Most of the list resonates with me except #1- most of my traditions are rooted in pagan traditions that became adopted into Christianity- I celebrate a little more holistically. And no wish lists in my house. You are not placing an order. We make lists of what we plan to give, not what we hope to get. Removing that expectation makes every gift special and appreciated as something someone else chose to give you. If someone asks my son what he would like, it is Ok for him to give them some ideas, but I also work to keep him in perspective of what is reasonable to ask for.
Seriously people why do christians need to say happy holidays to others who don’t celebrate merry christmas because we might offend them? What about those people we could turn around and say that they offend us by saying happy holidays its absolutely ridiculous snd I’m so tired of hearing about how its offending people.
Sorry, I don’t agree. If somebody doesn’t want to respond to a Merry Christmas, continue to smile and move on. Diversity is a cool word for “stay apart “.
I think you’re right about the continuing to smile — I think honestly we live in such a world where we can just learn to love and appreciate each other and our differences that that is where joy can be found. Thanks, Richard, I appreciate your words.
Rachel
I completely agree 100%. I grew up Jewish celebrating Chanukah, and everyone would wish me Merry Christmas, sometimes even after I would wish a Happy Holidays. It made me angry, sad and confused as a teenager. Now that I’m an adult and married to a non-Jewish man we celebrate Christmas for our children so hey don’t feel left out the way I did growing up during the holidays. It’s very important to remember we don’t all celebrate the same holiday, and that the holiday season is a time for families to celebrate holidays and not just Christmas.
Merry CHRISTmas!
Beautiful list. Love these reminders. Thank you, Rachel! Oh but I disagree about Christmas music! I am one of those that loves it year-round! haha!
I love that we can say all sorts of different beautiful sayings to each other – which is why I want my children to be able to say “Merry Christmas.” I think that they should be blessed to receive and hear many other greetings from others as well. That’s all. 🙂
With joy.
Rachel
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I miss Buffy! She knocked over the tree a few years ago. And it’s sad when you almost feel like you should apologize for celebrating Christmas!
Keep your eyes on the Lord! Praying!
Psalms 62:1-2 Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved.
My email address
“the chronically offended” LOVE it!! Right up there with “politically correct”
CHRISTmas is just that. If people decide to celebrate it for other reasons that is their business, but the true meaning of CHRISTmas is to celebrate Christ’s birth. Other than that what is there? New Years? On New Years Day/Eve we say “Happy New Years” I used to be one to say “Happy Holidays” and it was mostly to include Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years and was reserved for friends I may not see often.
After Thanksgiving it is “Merry Christmas” all the way!
Great post!
liz
Well said liz!
Lame… wonder how many babies jesus will send to hell this holiday season. Opps, I mean Christmas season.
You sir just do not understand how Jesus and the Bible work. Everything happens for a reason and even a baby can be a sinner. Maybe it is time for you to grow up and start worshiping the lord and savior. You are a sad person I am sure of that.
Trolling?
Where’s your holiday spirit Scrooge?
lul
Why make such a hateful comment on someone else’s post and hide behind the Anonymous curtain? If you stand firm in your beliefs, it seems that you wouldn’t mind if someone knew your name…just a thought.
What a wonderful list! I’m so glad you posted it. Love the photos too! There is a lot of meaning to Christmas but we just need to refocus ourselves back to why it was originally established. Only then will we be humbled enough by sacrifices made, love spent then won, and grace pour out for all. Thanks to a Little Babe. Wonderful!–Deb (DialMforMoms.com)
I love having the same outlook as you Rachael. This post is right on target and perfect. Thank you for making sure we all stop and see what really matters. Oh and yes, Holiday music as soon as November starts and until New Year. Always in our home also 🙂
we have the same rule, no Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. And Christmas movies are only allowed starting on Thanksgiving night. we put up our Christmas tree in the decorations is it the day after Thanksgiving nothing before.
Love #12!!!!! It is on my list, as well! You go, girl! 🙂
To Mike Roberts – who said “To me, Christmas is about Family and friends first, religion and all that second. Regardless of what my friends and family believe, they are my family before, during and after anything else…”
I’d personally argue that Christmas is about CHRIST first, because with, without, regarless of beliefs, CHRIST is still my savior before during and after anything else. That’s the one thing I can always trust in. And I absolutely enjoy celebrating with family and friends of different backgrounds, but as an individual my focus of the day is still Jesus. So MERRY CHRISTMAS! Don’t water it down.
Every time I wish someone a Happy Holiday, I now wonder if the recipient thinks I am an evil, ungodly, pagan heathen. To say that one is taking the CHRIST out of CHRISTmas by not saying Merry Christmas is just ridiculous. Back off people and just enjoy this time when the whole world focuses on our humbly born yet oh so wonderful and almighty Savior. Jesus didn’t nitpick to win people. He loved and served them.
So loved this list! I am saving it to pass it on to my 22 yo daughter. If I could go back, I would change a lot of things, but really, we did okay. This year, I would like to focus gifts on acts of service, in honor of Jesus’ birthday. Another bit of advice I would give is don’t work so hard on trying to get it perfect.
I just wanted to stop by and thank you for your posts! Your style of writing is so refreshingly inspiring and creative. I love Hannah’s style and was happy to find your blog – now I know who she must get a lot of inspiration from. =) Thank you for sharing your gift of writing with us and I hope you are having a blessed day, rejoicing in our Savior!
My purse was stolen while on family vacation a few years ago. It had all our money for the trip, credit cards, drivers license, camera with photos I hadn’t downloaded yet … you get the picture. I was heartbroken, but in the moment I was so grateful that my family was safe and only my purse had been stolen. No one was hurt. No one was in danger. I turned to my kids and said it’s just stuff. My daughter had recently had her wallet stolen so she knew how it felt. She kept looking at me like “really, how are you not upset?” But by the end of the evening (after a couple of hours in the police department), she got it — it’s just stuff and family is what matters.
Thank you. In a way I don’t like Christmas. Such high expectations, so much to do and not much time to do it all. I’m missing loved ones that are no longer with us.i am bombarded with mail and emails. It’s hard to fight it all and try to stay focused on what really is important.
All the comments and perspectives are eye opening to me. Thank you all for sharing them. The idea has occurred to me that when someone wishes a Happy Holiday, how nice it would be to slow down and ask them what they are celebrating in this season. Reiterating that relationships are high in importance at this time of year and year round. I also really like the idea from an anonymous commenter of “giving” lists rather than wish lists! I have wrestled annually with the conundrum that is created during the Christmas season regarding how to create the best experience for my family and not lose sight of the truths of Christmas I hold dear. Your list hits the high points for me too! Thanks for the encouragement.
thanks i get some new ideas for plan my Christmas in mobile app and images are so beautiful
Hi Rachel. I just “discovered ” your blog and I’m so excited about this post. I feel like you can read my mind . We also invented a new tradition in our house for this year. From 1 to 25 December all the family we are doing something good every day and we post it to our blog. We call it Christmas Love Calendar .Just simple we are getting closer to the real Christmas spirit. I’m so happy found your blog. Merry Christmas from Crete (Greece)
I love this idea! it brings back that fact that it is not all about presents and what you get. instead its about what you can do for others and i really love that.
Save. Save. Save with the helping of some Christmas saving apps.
Love these! I’m doing something similar…on facebook, I’m posting a daily suggestion, something I’m doing (and others can do) to keep the true meaning of Christmas big in my heart. Just small, simple things of outreach – something new every day until Christmas. I have to remind MYSELF that it’s not about all the chaos! Come visit me, if you’d like:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Adventures-in-the-Ballpark-Mare-Ball/394038163950377?ref=hl
You can ‘like’ the page, and see how the month ends! I don’t know myself yet. I’m challenging myself to find ways to give. 🙂
Thank you for this list. You’ve helped remind me that little things are as important as the big things during the holiday season as much as year round.
Making memories will certainly make for a longer lasting gift than the stuff we get.
I carry my cultural traditions as well as my family traditions close to my heart… They remind me of where I am from, who I have become & are a joy to begin sharing with my son. They are a part of me.
So thank you again. Merry Christmas. P.s. I agree about the Christmas music. The season begins on what was my Dad’s birthday (11/30), prior to that we focus on being thankful for ourfamilies & friends… The turkey is celebrated too 😉
Memories really do matter. I love that you carry your cultural traditions the way that you do – that is a memory that will matter.
This is one of your best post.. I totally love the cookie baking with the kids. Merry Christmas to you!
I disagree with a couple.
First, the Christmas season (the twelve days of Christmas) start on Christmas and go through January 6th, where after Ephiphany starts. The time before Christmas day is Advent, and I feel it’s totally appropriate to play Christmas music up through Jan. 6th and possibly not before Christmas Day.
Second, I don’t think it is fair to ask other people to have their children lie to others about Santa Claus. While I won’t make an effort to intentionally “ruin it” for other people, I will not ask my children to ever tell a lie and commit sin. Santa Claus, as it is traditionally practiced in our culture, is a lie because if it were just “pretend”–kids know when they are pretending. They understand what they are pretending isn’t truly real. So what we do with Santa is build a lie for them and keep it going to the point we don’t want others to say anything that would contradict our lie. If it were just pretend it wouldn’t be a big deal if someone said “hey he’s not real” because then the child would just say “I know, I’m just pretending” but we know that’s not how it’s done. So, I will never ask my children to lie about this.
How about – there are 12 days of Christmas… Celebrate them all, and absolutely do not take down your decorations until Epiphany!
COol. I’ve had friends that celebrate Epiphany – I’ve always thought it to be neat.
Rachel
Thank you Shawna! I’m not sure how the 12 days of Christmas began being associated with the 12 days before Christmas… But even big time television networks are confused. Loving Advent and anticipating Christmas!! God bless!
Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays does not matter. Whichever is said, the person saying it is kindly wishing you good and happy times. I celebrate CHRISTmas but am never offended by the phrase Happy Holidays. I think that Christ cares more about me loving my neighbor as myself than he does my using his name as a protest/statement against political correctness. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!
What a beautiful list of what really matters this time of year!
Beautiful christi! I love to share these with my daughters.
Love everything about this post. Baking is the best memory maker 😉
I disagree with the fact that family and friends should come before religion and Christ. Although they are VERY important I feel the Savior is the reason we are all here to begin with and that we should focus on and celebrate HIM first and family and friends secondary. I agree with the part about not having other children or adults for that matter ruin the idea of Santa for kids who still believe. My sister and I typically listen to Christmas music from the beginning of November til January 1st. However, if we are having a really hard time in our lives during the year or just a day that has been horribly bad in one way or another we will listen to Christmas music that day no matter what time of year it is just to relax us and help us feel a little better. I loved how one person posted that if someone says Happy Holidays to you that you should take the extra couple of minutes to see what holiday they are celebrating and wish them the appropriate holiday wish for their holiday. I and most of my family and friends prefer Merry Christmas but I understand that is not how everyone celebrates the holidays and that’s ok. We do do the Santa thing and the elf on the shelf, but my 7 year old son knows the TRUE most important meaning of Christmas. We read books about it, talk about it, and sing about the true meaning. We also do secret Santa for a select few people or families each year so that they can have a good Christmas/Holiday season too especially the little kiddos. I send out about 50-60 Christmas/Holiday cards out each year knowing I will only probably get 7-10 back. But to me it’s nice to get some back but that’s not why I send them out in the first place. I send them out to those I am close to that I know have had a rough year, those that are lacking in spouses and/or other family members, and those that I just want them to know that someone cares and is thinking of them this time of year and wishes them well. May everyone have a safe, loving, and wonderful Christmas/Holiday season no matter what holiday you are celebrating this year!!! Also best wishes for joy, happiness, and amazing things to come with the new year to come. God Bless!!!
Read my number 1. I think we’re on the same page.
Rachel
I like # 17 & 25. Love to all.
I listen to Christmas music until the 12 day of Christmas are over on January 6. 😉
Very nice post , yes we have to move on and forget about the past , we have to forgive our friends and celebrate the spiritual moment “Christmas day” ..
“Merry Christmas ” in advance (13 days left ).
regards
paras bhanot
We always put a nativity set out when we decorate our home, without Baby Jesus until Dec. 25th. Then when we wake up Christmas morning, we take a moment, unwrap him, add him to the manger, and sing Happy Birthday Jesus! One of our favorite family traditions!
Thank you for that great idea! We will buy a nativity scene and start that tradition this year. Wonderful!
just find out your blog from my friend wall of FB, thank you for sharing your list, its really inspiring, and the best part you put Jesus as the first and central of Christmas is. Anyway, Merry Christmas from Indonesia, God bless you…
Mine would definitely be remembering that not everyone celebrates Christmas and not to assume it’s the default
[…] 4.) Pray or meditate. This is giving the gift of presence to yourself, as well as to God. Prayer is something we all do daily, but giving yourself these moments of your own presence, is true self-love. It has a ripple effect that is felt in all areas of our lives. It allows us space to attract that which is of the highest service to ourselves and others. It’s the gift that puts all consumerism out of business…. through prayer and meditation, we slowly transform our relationship with material items…and awaken to the power and truth within us. 5.) Forget it’s Christmas for a minute…  I swear I was so in the moment of being with my kids that it wasn’t until I got into the car and heard Christmas music that I literally thought ‘oh, it’s so nice to hear Christmas music…it’s Christmas time!’  I know this probably comes off as strange.  But with a little over a week left until the holiday and pretty much nothing done, I forgot what regular life was like before I was consumed with what I still needed to do… It’s like this with everything. As soon as Christmas is over, I will be thinking about Truly’s first birthday…and then Charlie’s 8th birthday…and my Lord, if I keep having kids it’ll be one thing after the next until I don’t know when! Sometimes I think it’s cool to just sit and let the holidays and their expectations fizzle away…and feel what it’s like to have nothing to do…no where to go… let the gratitude bubble over…let the present boil within…and just be. 5.5) Soak up the Christmas spirit. After realizing that I basically told you to forget it’s Christmas, I realized just how awesome it is to roll all our miracles into a momentum of Christmas spirit. In the world of manifesting and prayer, throw a little Christmas spirit in there for good measure and we pretty much have it nailed. For more on giving presence, watch #givepresence here Also, check out Finding Joy’s 25 Things I Want My Kids to Know About Christmas. […]
I LOVE your list! This inspired me (a generally not-so-easily-inspired mom) to sit down with my kids this weekend and write a similar list. I’m from Canada, so I don’t have to think about Christmas music before Thanksgiving. But I do wait until after Remembrance Day and my son’s birthday (also in late November). <3
Reading through the comments, I can tell there is still a little bit of hostility towards the religious side of Christmas (and vice versa). I think people are still learning what TOLERANCE and RELIGIOUS FREEDOM mean. To start, nobody was forced to read this blog post about Christmas. It clearly states that it is ABOUT CHRISTMAS in the title, so if you don’t celebrate Christmas then that was a big clue to stop reading if you might be offended, or if views differing from your own would be expressed. In North America we all have the freedom to write or say these things, and expect to do so without persecution. It doesn’t mean people won’t disagree, but it can be done with respect. Tolerance does NOT look like this, “You believe in JESUS? In CHRISTmas? I don’t, and this offends me. Now I plan to make a comment based on this feeling.” Tolerance DOES look like this, “I see you believe in Jesus and a Christian Christmas. I don’t. However, you make some great points about the holiday and so therefore I will comment based on those things that we agree on.” If everyone could start looking at where we AGREE versus focusing on where we DON’T AGREE then we will all have a much merrier holiday/Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/etc.
I love them all. After my divorce, 11 years ago, Christmas was about surveying all of my money on my kids and figuring out how to pay the bills later. Six years ago I moved from Miami, Fl to Alabama where my mom was living. I was 34 and wanted to go to college full time and knew I would need my mom’s help. Since our move Christmas has been different. My ex husband has decided to buy the kids “everything” that they want. I get them their gifts from Santa, no more than 3, sticking filled with things they need like socks and toothbrushes, and one or two things from me. I watch and listen and am very mindful of what they like. I’m finished with college but still struggle financially. I haven’t had my mind help for four years. It’s good to know I can raise them on my own. They are good kids and I’m proud of them.
Love the list! Very timely as I am in purging mode. It is just stuff. As a hospice chaplain I have learned from talking to the dying and their kids-most kids don’t want most of your stuff. If your stuff is overwhelming to you, it is more so to your kids who have to deal with it after you are gone. Deal with it now and get your falalalala back!
I love the list. Mostly because it is mindful. I wrote Mindful Teaching through Holiday Traditions over on DrDina.ca: http://drdina.ca/mindful-teaching-holiday-traditions/
While it deals specifically with #13. Traditions, I think it relates to your whole list and the thought you have given to what you wish to impart to your children through your actions and traditions. Well done!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further
write ups thanks once again.