I feel as if I’m hunkering down in a trench, in the midst of a battle, and yet, I’m to do life right here. In this gritty and tiring place. There’s a battle raging around me, but I can’t just stop fighting, can’t stop living.
Even though my family is tired, and battered, and worn we’re rediscovering the wonderful of everyday. Of a gluten-free dinner where everyone can enjoy and eat together. Of times spent on the couch reading books with Samuel in the middle. Of laundry finished and waiting to be put away. Of trips to the dentist, or church, or Trader Joes.
I’d be lying if I told you that things weren’t hard. I see the worry in my Hannah and Chloe’s eyes when they are concerned over Samuel’s pallor. I feel the anxiety in my own heart when I look at my homeschool planner with the last full day checked off in early January. I hear the pain in Caleb’s voice when he cuddles with me at night and asks about why Sammy was in the hospital. I see a house that is a bit behind — in laundry, and cleaning, and chores — and know that it’s because I haven’t been home. I know the calendar is full of appointments, and I know the kids see them as well.
And that’s okay. That’s what I’m learning to expect. I don’t want to just sit in the pain part so I’ve been trying to embrace and find the beauty. The Lord has been good to me. He has blessed me beyond measure even in this place. Do I struggle with the “whys?” — absolutely. Many times throughout my day I release my earthly need to know why. Why gets me no where. It just made me focus on the ugliness rather than the beauty. So I’ve had to replace my need to know why. And gradually now I’m discovering that –
17 comments
Praying over your precious family as you settle into a new norm…love those precious pictures of Samuel!!
It is so hard when sickness strikes. It hits, knocks you off your feet and then slowly you pick yourself up and continue on the journey kind of baffled, confused and uncertain. Hang in there things do smooth out and this new routine will become normal.
Praying and praying for you all.
In Him,
<><
I’m touched by the concern of the older siblings for the younger. That is a close family. Good job; God’s blessings upon you all.
Seriously– he is beautiful.
Praying for your whole family. You are all so beautiful.
I’m in the midst of memorizing this verse:
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. he does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Isaiah 40:28-29 (ESV)
He will give you the strength to get through and still feel the joy, the fullness of Him.
Beautiful post–praying for you guys still!
Still praying for you! I would gladly fold your laundry and clean your house for you if I lived anywhere near you! Instead, I’ll keep praying for you!
It’s at times like this that we just wish life could stop until we catch up and feel like going on. But, I’m sure God knew what He was doing when He designed life to go on in spite of what we are facing. It likely helps us to have to go on.
Praying for you to begin to feel more “normal” every day. Special blessings to you and your sweet family.
May the grace of God continue to cover you…your doing well my friend!
I have the tiniest glimpse of what you might feel… Hunter and his food allergies make things that are usually simple much more difficult. I can only imagine how difficult it is with 7 kids and all the normal house chores and school… May God give you strength beyond measure! Also praying for provision, I know gluten free specialties can be expensive. Thank you for choosing to praise in the midst of the trenches.
What a beautiful testimony to your children that God is there PRESENT with you even in the trenches ♥
hugs to you sweet friend~ Cinnamon
It WILL get easier! I promise it will. With Tucker’s food issues we simply learned to adjust. And he began to move past his problems and to grow and be healthier. It comes with time. Patience is your friend right now, difficult as it may be to develop. There is nothing a mommy wants more than for it to hurry up and get better for her kids! Believe me, I know. Hang in there and keep the faith. It WILL get better.
My heart is aching for you. I, myself, have had the experience of knowing that something is wrong with my baby, but no one knew what. I pray that this new gluten-free life becomes easier and heals your sweet boy!
I also wanted to share with you, if you didn’t already know, about a site I recently joined for meal planning. On it, it has a ton of different meal plans that gives you a weeks worth of recipes and then gives you the shopping list broken down by grocery section and meal. It is so convenient!
Anyway, I noticed yesterday that they have a gluten free plan if you’re looking for meals that are gluten free and family friendly. And it’s cheap – only $5 a month.
Anyway, here’s the site if you’re interested. http://www.e-mealz.com
Praying for your family and especially Samuel!
Praying for you and Samuel my friend. We are safest in the center of the storm. There are you are secure. May you feel His presence and love today!
Praying for you still.
Corine
just found your blog! love it…much grace & peace to you!
arielle