Heres’s a secret: I’m not a bad mom. I’m not. But I’m going to speak about those places where we just stay quiet too often. About those days of motherhood where you just sit on the front porch and cry because you don’t know what to do next. About those overwhelming days. I get those days because I have those days. And they don’t mean I’m failing as a parent. They mean I care and I try. But even with the effort I get tired.
No one really ever talks about the tiring part of motherhood.
It’s tiring to constantly have to negotiate between kids who fight and don’t get along. Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the wall and tell them to knock it off because I’m tired. But they don’t get it.
It’s tiring to deal with defiant teens. It really is. Just like it’s stressful and tiring to deal with defiant four year olds. I don’t feel equipped to deal with them at times. It’s humbling to admit how broken that makes a person feel, but it’s the truth. There are moments where I sit in my room (after sitting on the porch) and the tears just tumble from my eyes.
Parenthood is tiring. It is so much more tiring than I ever expected.
I know you understand that. Because here you are, reading these words of mine about being tired. And maybe you’re reading them because you need something that disappears when we’re overwhelmed and tired. And that? That’s hope that one day you won’t be tired. Or that problems will be resolved. Or that the kitchen would stay clean for more than fifteen minutes.
Now understand, I don’t care that so many people have answers for all the solutions. I care about you, your heart. Because I know what it feels like to give and fight and give and fight and to simply feel worn out by everything.
And when you’re worn out it is lonely. It feels like the whole world has all the answers and they’re doing a great job and there you are, sitting somewhere in your house wondering if you can make it through this day.
The truth is despite the tired you have made it through.
Please let that sink in.
Now listen, there will be those out there that will tell you how this too will pass. And time moves fast. And you can hang on. But I know that when you are in that spot – that spot of no sleep or newborns or relationship crisis or financial issues or having that kids who tests every ounce of your patience – that it feels like time stands still. I get it. I know about wanting a break, wanting peace, wanting margin.
You have to be the one who creates that in that space. It must be you. You cannot wait for all the dots to connect or things to chill out or you to be less tired. You are the ONLY one who can carve out space so that you can thrive in the midst of the tired.
Remember, you are making it through. You are not perfect. In fact, we are all imperfect humans trying to live a life doing our best. There isn’t a book, a guide, advice that gets it perfectly where you are and has all the answers. There is you adapting and figuring it out. You’ll stumble. That’s okay, sweet mom, that’s okay.
You know, I love my kids and it hurts me to have these days where I feel like I’m not cut out for this motherhood thing. I hate that. But I also know, after twenty-two years of motherhood, that I can make it through. That I will have days and moments where I laugh. That there is a balance. Today is just a day. It’s just one day in the timeline of a life of days. So pick your head up, wipe away the tears, and remember the good you bring. Love your heart, your gifts to the kids and how hard you try.
I’m proud of you for that. Despite being tired. Or overwhelmed.
It will be okay. Trust me.
From one tired mom to you,
Rachel
#findingjoy
