“I forgive myself”

Those three words – “I forgive myself” – were the words my counselor told me to tell myself.

Now, you need to know this was immediately after I told her I tended to ruminate on past stuff. I’m a classic ruminator. You know, the going over and over things and wishing I had responded differently and so forth.

I can get stuck in my head.

I can go over things again and again.

I can be really hard on myself.

And she saw it.

She knew it. She probably could see the tears I worked so hard to hold back. Tears of a perfectionist, tears remembering the stumbles, tears of a girl who has a hard time letting go.

So she called it out. She told me to forgive myself.

I started to cry, honestly. How does one just do that so instantly? How does one let go? And yet, wanting to move forward meant instead of holding the bar so high for myself I dared to be kinder to myself.

“I forgive myself.”

“I forgive myself.”

“I forgive myself.”

That is what I have been telling myself lately.

It seems simple, but my friends, it is profound.

The irony?

With my friends, with you, with others – I would tell you to give yourself grace, to be kind, to not be perfect – and yet, sometimes in my own life the standard I hold is just crazy. Giving myself grace has been an amazing gift – it is like the breath I’ve needed for so long. In those moments of forgiveness there is a breath of space.

Margin.

The margin to grow, to learn, to move forward.

So friend, my sweet words to you are to be kinder to your own heart.

To celebrate your steps.

To let go of what you need to.

To forgive yourself for those times when you get stuck in your own thoughts.

To love your journey.

You matter. You make a difference.

And you are important.

Be kinder to your own heart.

~Rachel