mom motivation – tips to keep the day in balance

Years ago, I remember reading an article that tried to put a monetary value on motherhood – it is well over 100k – and lists all these things that moms do. The cleaning, counseling, driving, cooking, teaching, and more and gives it an arbitrary monetary value (If someone would love to pay me that I’ll gladly accept). But despite those high claiming numbers of how much we’re worth as moms it is very easy to lose our motivation  in the day to day. Trust me, I know. I’ve stared at Mount Washmore and wished for the actual laundress to come in and fold all of those clothes and to find the forever missing sock. And secret – I have to set a date of every three months to throw out those old socks – otherwise I’ll keep them forever. I’ve wished for the cook or the driver or the person who would just keep the legoes sorted.

But, for most of us, that’s simply not a reality. We need to stay motivated – in motion. Here are some simple things that help with the mom motivation.

develop a routine
Simply develop a routine that works for your family. Go ahead and read about other’s routines, but remember to craft a routine that fits your family’s unique dynamic. Some of you may thrive with things calculated down to fifteen minute increments while others of you might simply need a framework for the day. But, develop something. Here’s why – when the days get a bit crazy the routine can help you get your day back on track. It also offers somethings solid for your day. Make sure to cultivate time in the day where you can rest, relax, and not have to do work. You could work all day long. Choose to add buffer space within your schedule.

remember stress is a choice
This awesome phrase was told to me by my friend, John Miller, and he writes about it in his book {this is an affiliate link}  QBQ! The Question Behind the Question. I heard him speak it in Florida and I will tell you those words stress is a choice has truly stuck with me. How often do you or I mutter the phrase – I’m so stressed out. We say the words, and then aim for that target – stressed out. What if the word stress was eliminated from our vocabulary? If as moms we started to realize that stress is a choice then we can motivate ourselves during our day? Are there difficult things that we must do? Yes, but if we choose to not get stressed, then we are staying one step ahead. For me, it is recognizing that something is causing me stress and then deciding what to do with it but not sit in it. There is power in that decision making process.  Look at your day, and do the best with what you are dealt, and keep moving.

do not worry
(Or at least really work on not worrying.) These are words from my dad. I remember calling him up one time and him telling me to stop worrying. And I thought about it, and asked him how I couldn’t but not worry, and he asked me what all of that worry was doing for me. What was the benefit? Just as stress is a choice I also strongly believe that worry is a choice. It’s easy to sit in a cycle of worry – but moms, check your thoughts and how quickly you revert to worry. Instead use those moments where you are worrying to instead ask yourself what you can do now or else put the worry on the shelf. Or, and I’ve done this, allow yourself to worry for two minutes about it, and then choose to move on. Worrying depletes motivation.

do one thing.
A mantra in my home is do one thing and do it well. Now, as I write that to you, you must also know that I am the queen of multi-tasking. I am constantly doing a zillion and thirty-two things and a time (or at least it feels that way), but I’ve learned for those moments where overwhelm threatens to bump my mood that I need to choose to do one thing from my list and to complete it with excellence. The zillion and thirty-one things can wait until that one thing is done. And often, that one thing means sitting down, grabbing the Richard Scarry book and reading. Or taking a walk, gardening, cleaning up email (set the timer), vacuuming, playing cars – simple things – but beautiful things.

be the thermostat.
I’ve shared this before, but find it worth sharing again. My very dear friend Amy told me years ago that we need to be the thermostat in our homes and not the thermometer. A thermometer matches the temp, the mood, in the home. A thermostat regulates the temp, or the mood, in the home. It’s very easy to slip back into the thermometer role, but then often moods, anxiety, misbehavior, and all of that can get ramped up. Step back, take a breath, and regulate what is going on. Remember to do that one thing well. Whisper, do whatever it takes to bring the level, the mood, in the home back to a motivating level. Some days this is a huge challenge, just keep at it, moms. You can do it.

take you time.
Even though you have the title mom to your name now, you also are you. Don’t lose sight of the things that you love to do in the midst of motherhood. Instead work to cultivate them as well. What do you love? What are your passions? It is great to be passionate about all things motherhood, but keep those things that are so uniquely you active as well. We want our children to grow and work on their dreams, and we need to also continue to be shaping and spending some time on thing we love. Play the piano, garden, write, sew, speak, paint – just create space for those moments for you as well. They are really times to recharge self – don’t forget the importance of that as well. Besides blessing you it also will bless your children and teaches them to not only go after dreams but to refine things that they love.

celebrate your story
Be proud of your life. Look at your story. Chances are it’s quite beautiful. I know, you might tell me that it’s too messy too be beautiful, but really, when you look at the most beautiful stories they are the ones that aren’t perfect. Begin to celebrated your story, your life, and the moments that you are blessed to share. A couple of months ago I told you to put the soundtrack station on Pandora on while you worked. Do it again – let the epic quality music fill your home and give grandiour to what you are doing. Let that motivate you, spur you on, and encourage you. Each of our lives is a grand story – we just forget at times to see the beauty in our stories. Celebrate that today.

Some simple things to motivate you as moms. I know I need those motivating things during some of those crazy days of motherhood. It’s been a week of encouragement, and pulling up the boot straps, and really doing the hard things. Motherhood is a balancing act – getting it all done, enjoying the moments, not being too hard on ourselves (remember dear mom who needs to let go of mom guilt), being the thermostat, and at some point resting.

You can do motherhood.

~Rachel