If you could peek in my living room right now and see me you’d see a mom with puffy eyes from crying the night before because she was overwhelmed and didn’t feel like she measured up. You’d see a four year old with his superman shirt on backwards because he dressed himself. You’d see a living room window with handprints on it as the morning sun streams into the living room and dances across the floor which has Easter grass littered about.
You’d see me.
The imperfect trying and feeling like she’s not enough so often mom.
And I would hope that I wouldn’t apologize for not having it all together, but would rather move the new bats and balls off of the rocking chair and would offer you a cup of coffee from my favorite red Keurig and I would look in your face and smile.
I might have tears in my eyes.
But that’s okay. It’s real.
Sometimes you and I we like to try to measure our worth as moms based on a bunch of external variables. There is always one more thing to do or go or try or change or update or learn or implement or create. And those things, so many of them are awesome. They’re great. Our world is full of opportunity and adventure and places to go and things to see.
But sometimes life is full of ordinary. Or hard. Even with good mixed in.
It’s the sound of my boys downstairs now telling each other that they should have a pillow fight with the pillows that are for sure on the floor instead of on the couch. But truth is, there will be a day in my home where the pillows are never left on the floor and they’re always on the couch.
There will be a day where the stickers are no longer stuck to the table and lightsabers aren’t on my living room floor and my laundry can be done in several loads a week.
There will be a day where I don’t hear I hate you mom when I take away media.
There will be a day when the car seats are no longer in the back of my truck. And, in fact, I won’t need all those extra seats and I won’t joke that I need the this vehicle stops at railroad crossing sign on the back.
There will be a day where the abundant supply of boxed macaroni and cheese with the powder doesn’t sit in my cabinet.
There will be a day when I don’t need to cut the tags out of every piece of clothing for my four year old.
There will be a day when the muddy parts under the swing will be covered with grass because the feet don’t drag the grass away.
There will be a day when I don’t cut everything tiny and slice grapes in fourths and the plastic plates sit unused.
There will be a day where it will be quiet and I will long for the days when I would say can you all hold it down a bit?
There will be a day when little ones don’t hide in their room and sneak Easter candy the day after Easter.
There will be a day when I can shower without hearing a knock on the door and the words can I have a snack? even after I told them to not bother me unless it’s an emergency.
There will be a day when we will look back and remember.
And chances are, even though it’s overwhelming and hard, that you and I will not see where we stumbled. We will not focus on the fact that our living room had Easter grass on the floor and wrappers and fingerprints on the window. We will not remember how we could never find sock matches and we won’t us all of that to judge us as moms. We won’t remember the pile of dishes in the sink or that the floor needed to be swept three times a day.
We will see where we were brave.
When we thought we couldn’t keep going and yet we did.
We’ll remember how we made that boxed macaroni and cheese and how there were always fingerprints on the fridge and how sometimes when there was the pump foam soap our little boys pumped it all out and made a car wash for their matchbox cars (yes, yes, yes. . . that just happened here). We’ll remember when we brushed away the tears and put on a smile and just kept going. We’ll remember the sleepless nights and endless supply of coffee. We’ll remember smiling at our kids as they ran up the front steps. We’ll remember that we loved them no matter what and sometimes even though we felt lost or unimportant that we just loved them anyway.
How do you measure the worth of a mom?
It’s not in all the things that you think you should be doing. It’s not in perfect birthday parties. I just had one for my daughter Grace. I bought two $1.99 rolls of streamers from Target, a poster board, and some cupcakes. And that was okay. It’s not all the stuff – it’s the heart behind it. I know, I know. Maybe sometimes you feel lost. Maybe you feel like you’re short changing your kids. Maybe you don’t know that you’re doing enough. Maybe you just want to cry that you need a break but don’t want to admit it.
I know. That’s okay.
Here’s the deal.
The truth is that your worth as a mom is immeasurable.
You cannot be replaced.
You make a difference. I know, you could tell me these are just things that moms do. You could pull out your to-do list and show me everything that you haven’t finished. You could tell me how your life is messy and that this isn’t what you thought it would be. You could tell me how you’re tired. You could tell me everything that you think isn’t perfect.
And I will tell you, there is no perfect, there’s only real.
Real moms. You and me and the mom next door and the mom at Target and the mom in the airport who travels and the mom driving to soccer and ballet and the mom who is at work but wishes she could be home and the mom with the the 4th grader struggling with math and the mom who wonders if she matters. You know what? We don’t have to have it all together and have it perfect.
Our kids need us.
They need you, even if you feel like you’re messing up or not enough or have those days when you want to quit.
So today, rise up, and be real. Be you. Keep doing the ordinary awesome things that you do that sometimes feel like they’re just what moms do. Keep loving your kids. Keep trying. Keep it up.
Someday you and I will look back and we will say we did it.
And you know what? We will. And even though life is messy and not perfect and we have those moments where we fall the moments where we rise up will outshine them all. We will see where we soared and we will remember the moments that mattered most. Those are the things that you need to see today. To remember. To look at.
Onward brave mother. Onward.
You have awesome to do.
[Tweet “Our kids need us. Not perfection. “]
[Tweet “Your worth as a mom is immeasurable.”]
Very well said, Rachel! And it’s true, truly.
With two young adults, both homeschooled all the way through, both now in college, I’m still parenting. And it was only in practicing the very things you shared, Rachel, that I have the relationship I do with my kids during these transitional years.
You won’t need to buckle them in car seats in a couple of decades, you’ll need to pray for them as they buckle in and drive the car.
And yep, then it will finally be quiet. For a few days. Until they come home … with stories and challenges to share.
Press on, Mamas!
Great advice. Every Mom has there tough days. We just have to remember everything is worth it.
I shared this post on my blog’s facebook and twitter pages.
That last pic of Samuel is amazing! Do you remember what he was pointing at?
You aren’t planning on having any grand kids? Those days just might never come to an end!
Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
Revelation 7:16-17 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.
Thank you. A beautiful post. It’s my first time visiting your blog, but I will be back. Thank you for sharing your heart and encouragement.
Thank you Linds. 🙂
Always here praying!
Psalms 40:1-4 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
Continuing to lift up prayer.
Psalms 40:5, 11, 13 Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. (11) Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me. (13) Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me.
I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for encouraging mothers.
Hope you’re having a great weekend!
Praying right now!
Psalms 40:16-17 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The LORD be magnified. But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Lifting up prayer to our Great High Priest!
Hebrews 4:14-16 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
We have an Anchor that holds no matter what storms we face! Praying!
Hebrews 6:17-20a Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus…
Thank you for writing this. We often forget that we were blessed with these little beings and we have everything we need to love and raise them already. Of course, there are things we can do to become better, but sometimes just you is enough!
What a beautifully written post! You have summed up being a mother perfectly… My last child started school this year and so my kids are now 10, 8 and 5. They are no longer little and I feel like the hard slog of little kids and the dirty fingerprints, swing pushing, cuddles just because and lightsabers are already slowly creeping out of my house and it is hard. It is harder emotionally than when my kids were all tiny and filled my house with noise and laugher all day, every day. As I dropped my kids to school the other morning and they all leapt from my car and ran into the school gates, a mother pushing 5 month old twins went past on her morning walk and she commented on how big my kids were – she will be there in a blink of an eye but so hard to tell her that as she faces a big day with two babies. This is a great post to remind us that our children are only little once and they do grow so very quickly. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you! It’s just what I needed to know!
Love your blog and all your words. I’ve been reading for several months now.
As a stay at home dad this hits home PRECISELY.
Thank you Marc. I really appreciate you.
I am having a hard time at the moment with a teenager who tells me she hates me and that we are bad parents ten times a day. She says we are too strict and should leave her alone. It is wearing me out. I am glad to see that I am not the only one having to deal with this.
Yes. Well said! Sometimes it’s hard to believe that what we do is enough.that it matters. That it makes a difference. There is so much to do! We need to have our priorities straight!
I wrote a post that echoes what you are saying.