I thought I had written enough about the trenches. I had convinced myself that I could survive the trench — I’d just keep my attitude up and keep smiling. That worked. For a bit. Well, until today.
Today I realized how incredibly completely totally behind I am. In everything.
And I can’t seem to get myself motivated to start chipping away at those behind categories in my life. I look at them and feel immediate overwhelm. The task is too big or I feel too far behind that I’ll never get on top of it. Take homeschooling — I look at the schedule and I know that next week I’ll miss 2days due to Samuel’s doctors appointments. Then I begin to feel discouraged about getting further behind. Then I start lamenting outloud to the kids about how behind we are. Then, guess what, our home gets stressed out feeling.
I’ve come to realize that I am not going to get that year where every box gets checked. Reality check — I’ve never had a year like that. I’m just going to have to do the best I can and not be so hard on myself. That to-do list? It doesn’t define me. I’m not failing simply because we’re several weeks behind. (Maybe it’s a bit more than several.) And I’m admitting that here. So often I think I walk around afraid to let anyone know that my life isn’t all neatly tied together — I try to stuff all the messiness and overwhelm down and then become exhausted trying to keep all the plates balanced.
These times where we as a family have to hunker down in trenches remind me of how I need to be aware to grab moments — of learning or laundry or laughter. Did learning take place? Absolutely. It might not look like the learning that I had planned back in September, and that’s okay. It’s okay.
Some days are like days a month ago. Some days are crazy. Some days are sad. Some days have challenges. But, we’re still living. Embracing this season.
And that’s okay.
I’m telling myself it again — it’s okay.
This season? It was known.
I’ll make it though.
It’s okay.
13 comments
You know, I think right now your children are learning more than a book could ever teach them. Hard as it is, they are watching how you handle it all. Just one thing at a time will eventually get it done.
That’s right, all of these days and the days ahead are already known by our Creator. Annnnd, He created them all. No matter how crazy life is, there’s comfort in knowing that Truth. Praying that you are comforted beyond understanding!
Hi Rachel,
I hate being overwhelmed by stuff that needs to be done; I know how you feel and I really, truly sympathize with you.
Hard as it may seem but it really helps to ignore some of the stuff and just focus on getting the most important chores caught up. The beauty of homeschooling is you can continue on into the summer and not worry about being behind. Figure out what is your priority and get that done and under your belt and go onto the next. A real way to get all the laundry done is head over to a laundry mat and do all of it at once.
I am praying for you.
<><
Praying for your sweet family.
Take it a day at a time. Your kids are learning so much from you right now. Figure out what’s most important and cross that off of your list first, then tackle the next thing. One at a time, day by day. Give your worries to God. You feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Praying for you.
The beauty of homeschooling? You have flexibility. Does everyone have clean underwear? Is the house “clean enough”? (If not, just stuff the unfolded laundry back in the dryer and vacuum – that’s my trick, and everyone thinks my house is sooooo clean! Ha!). Is anyone’s life all neatly tied together all the time – or ever? (doubt it)
I doubt God is as concerned with our to-do lists as we are. I have a sneaking suspicion he just wants us to take things one day at a time. Matt. 6:25-34, but especially v. 34: “…so not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Oh yes, we all have those seasons. Sweet Samuel’s season is now. Enjoy him and every little nose crinkling smile he gives you.
Your children are learning that God is present, there, real and loving. He steps in, provides, overflows with love and holds you.
You can’t read that, teach that from a book or watch a video on it and expect it to stick.
But you have God living right there in your home with you….dwelling there with you all. That is priceless learning~
{{hugs}} ~Cinnamon
I deal with those feelings everyday with my own chronic illness combined with my son’s and daughter’s. Everyday is a struggle sometimes and it’s all we can do to get anything done–let alone the complete plan I had for the day.
Other days are easier and we accomplish much–but it just makes me yearn to accomplish much on those harder days–which makes me feel guilty and stressed….and well, it isn’t healthy.
you asked “how do you balance all this?”. My answer is one day at a time. On doctor days, bring work to the doctors that they can do independently. Read before bed….do math after dinner. Fit things in where they fit in–a long drive to the doctors? Do a subject in the car. You have to break it up when your life is dominated by medical circumstances.
Play I spy with things that start with letters while your in the waiting room with the little ones–recite spelling words together in the waiting room–listen to the read aloud book on tape while you drive. There’s tons of ideas, you just need to think out of the box.
Dont put too much pressure on yourself to get it all done. prioritize your top three things and work hard at those things. Ask for help with the rest.
Whenever we get out of the hospital or have more intense circumstances medically than normal, we sign up for meals at our church. They deliver them to us fully cooked throughout the week as long as we need it.
Ask a friend to go grocery shopping with you–or go with the kids and do math by allowing them to add the purchases up. It’s all about being creative and getting rid of the box we put ourselves in as mothers to make it all perfect all the time.
I will pray for you–I know how you feel because it’s been a struggle for us for 4 years.
xoxo,
Carla
I meant to say have a friend go grocery shopping FOR you, not with you. : )
Can’t the kids do the work without you? The older kids can keep the younger ones going. Had to do that around here on occasion. The older kids can help you get caught up around the house, too. Your whole family is on a different road now and if you’re going to help Samuel as much as he needs it, the kids are going to have to pitch in and help.
Continuing to pray hard for your family!
Psalms 28:8-9 The LORD is their strength, and he is the saving strength of his anointed. Save thy people, and bless thine inheritance: feed them also, and lift them up for ever.
Prayer Bears
My email address
take care…i keep Samuel in my prayers…
i love carla’s advice, because it is so
simple and it works! you really can
do school with sweet samuel on your
lap, and there’s no telling all that his
clever mind can grasp right along w/
his siblings.
your school can be wherever you are.
i did reading and math while getting
my hair done, and my kiddo thought
it was really fun.
one step at a time is the key. tackle
the things you know you can finish,
and that will give you a sense of
accomplishment. check!
i pray the He who called you will
help you succeed.
love,
lea
I read an article a year or so ago that I still think of when I am feeling overwhelmed. Hope it helps you a little! 🙂
Years ago, time management guru Alan Lakein proposed an intriguing solution to this problem called the Swiss cheese method.
Start a project, he said, by limiting yourself to a few minutes. Just poke a few holes in it. Do something fast. Suppose, for example, you’re waiting in the dentist’s office – you could even be the dentist, waiting for your hygienist to finish, or your patient to pass out.
Normally you might look at the latest issue of People, Time, or Adhesion Dentistry. Instead, look at your project – do a few easy things, build momentum. Basically, you trick yourself: “I’ll only spend a few minutes on this project,” you tell yourself. “How terrible could that be?” And then, before you can say, “I hate the Swiss cheese method, I hate Swiss cheese, and I think I may be lactose intolerant,” you’re up and running.
Tip: Begin.