the imperfect fail perfect motherhood day

I know you’ve had days like my day.

It started in the morning.

It went through the afternoon. And now, now it’s in the late late hours at night, and I’m sitting here writing to you. Writing about my hard day and telling you that it wasn’t a fail. Even though, in my head, I want to write to you, to facebook, to tweet, to call my day a fail day.

But, it wasn’t at all.

It was just plain old hard.

There was nothing beautiful to pin. No clever and witty facebook updates. No cute hashtags to tweet. It was a day full of ups and many downs. It was just a day. One day.

And even though it was hard it was not a fail.

We’re so quick to grade ourselves.

We dismiss what we do, we cut ourselves down, we apologize for where we think we lack, we mumble our answers, look away and almost update facebook with the words total fail for the day.

Now, I know in May there are all of those Hallmark Mother’s Day promos and cards and t-shirts and ads are telling you that being a mother is about  pictures of kids in adorable dresses and you frolicking around with them laughing with happiness and picket white fences. I’m sure you’ll frolic with your kids sometimes – but, really, not most days. Most days are probably a mix of good and bad and ups and downs and running out of coffee or diapers and there’s no lunch and you just need to rest type days. It will be fighting or the phone ringing or rain leaking in the basement and you haven’t showered.

That does not mean fail.

That means life.

Real imperfect perfect life.

That’s what we need to celebrate this week. We need to celebrate that we moms pushed through on those exhausting days. We keep going and going and going. I know, I can see it, you’ve got those tears in your eyes – I’ve got them in mine – you’re thinking that you failed and that you’ll never measure up and that you just want that pinnable recipe to turn out right {have you had one do that yet?} and the kitchen clean and for someone to tell you that you did an amazing job on that really hard day.

Don’t let the hard day define you.

Learn from them.

For me? Today? You know what I learned? I learned that all too often I dismiss the day if I didn’t get everything done on my list. I learned that when they cry mom that instead of saying my in a minute that I need to say I’m coming or I need you to wait. I learned that even though there’s water leaking in my basement and the carpet will need to be replaced and all of that stuff that I don’t have to be crabby. Hard, but true. That stuff just happens – the more I expect it the less that I’ll be frustrated by it. You see, life was never meant to look like an ad on Hallmark television – that, my friends, would be boring.

Refining, finding joy, comes in the midst of fire – every day stuff.

My idea of having a fail day was in reality a failure to see the beauty in just today. 

Sometimes, you just need to step back, to have a moment of quiet, to look for the straws, to regroup, and to remember the beauty in motherhood.

So moms, my friends, do not label yourself.

Don’t let your circumstances of the day to stick to you at all. Today I celebrate you – the real mom. The mom with the remnants of the toddlers lunch on your sleeve, with messy dishes in the sink, nothing for dinner, with bills to pay, and worries about tomorrow, with stress, and toys underfoot – the one who is there day after day after day giving of self for them despite the circumstances.

That is a win.

Your life, your imperfect fail perfect motherhood life, is beautiful.

~Rachel
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.