Last year we all kind of admitted we weren’t too happy.
Or maybe we all did because I Forgot How to Be the Happy Mom has almost a million likes. That’s a whole bunch of us daring to share that we might have a desire to be a bit happier again.
Or maybe it wasn’t not being happy, maybe it was more of admitting that we were a bit lost in the busy of motherhood and life and that we forgot ourselves. It’s a daunting and humbling place to stare at our reflection in the mirror and to realize that the person staring back is a stranger.
How could I not see me anymore?
I wanted to be happy, I really did, but truthfully I didn’t know anymore WHAT would make me happy. I think that, my friends, was a bit scarier than not even knowing who was staring back. I didn’t even know how to be happy or what would make me happy and I really didn’t know how to start. I think so often we operate on auto-pilot. Wake up, hit snooze, wake up again, stumble out of bed, splash water on our face, start coffee, pack lunches, wake kids, finish lunches, wake kids again and on and on and on.
The other day I said to my friend that I was tired of the same old thing every single day. I think it was really the waking up before six and trying to convince the kids to wake up cheerfully and he replied I think that’s just life.
Why do I resist the same old normal?
When normal is what is really beautiful?
I think thinking that normal was frustrating was chipping away at the happy part.
So in order to start finding happy we need to do these four things.
1. Celebrate normal. Every single day I need you to look around at your life and to find something normal and be grateful for that normal. It’s so easy easy easy to forget that wonderful of normal.
2. Do one thing every day for you. And I mean it. Hahha. I sound like I’m talking to my kids, but truthfully until you start to decide that you are worth it you will always be on the back burner. There is a reason we are to put our oxygen on before kids on airplanes — we need it to help them. And yet, so many of us think that we can get by without “oxygen” today and put it off and off and off until it’s too late and we burn out. So put your oxygen on – and that is this – doing something every day that makes you smile.
3. Stop chasing perfect. And knowing all the answers and never messing up and judging your success as a mother on outward things. As I say many many times there is not perfect, there is only real. So instead of seeing your mistakes as imperfections I want you to start to really see how much you try and give and love. In the end that will matter most.
4. Change your thoughts. In fact, first I need you to pay attention to your thoughts. You need to listen to the soundtrack and dialogue that you have going on in your head. So often we are TOO HARD on ourselves. I catch myself all the time saying things like what were you thinking? or you’re failing and so forth. When you catch those negative non happy thoughts I NEED you to replace them with the positive. Learn from your experience but stop cutting yourself down.
I think that’s the start to being happy. It’s enough time thinking about it – it’s time to actually start doing it.
It’s really a choice.
Because life and motherhood and this world will not ever be perfect.
But today is the perfect time for you to start being happy again.
You need to fight for you, my friend. You just do. You could read posts and books and blogs and always wait for the day when you have time, but sweet friend, now is the time.
Happy can be found again.
To read my journey of rediscovering happiness grab my new book -> The Brave Art of Motherhood