growth

by Rachel Marie Martin

 
The morning light slowly awakens the world. As the sun creeps into the sky I walk. Alone. Past homes, and fields, and a lone farm — a farm that was there long before the homes crowded around it. My thoughts are restless. Anxious. I know when I step back into my home that my list of to-do’s will be longer than I can accomplish.

You need to get back. You’re having company today. Think of the list to you have to do. If you were better, or did stuff like others maybe you’d be caught up.

My feet keep moving — forward.  The sun is trying to burn through the layer of early spring morning fog. Drops of mist coat my hair, causing the once-straightened strands to regain their natural curl. Nature wins.


It’s just seems impossible. If I could only be like them, maybe I’d get everything done. I have so much to learn and not enough time. How will I ever ever ever catch up?
Slowly, I begin to jog. I see some runners at the top of the hill. They’ve got the apparal — you know, the perfect running gear. Here I am, slowly jogging, and slightly winded, wearing old black trackpants, a purple sweatshirt, and silly shoes. I look up. Give the courtesy nod, and quickly look down.
Why do you need to compare, Rachel? Does it really matter? You’re out here. Trying. You aren’t them.  Just keep moving.
My face is cold. I’m running into the wind, and that purple soccer sweatshirt is barely keeping me warm. Another car passes and I can feel myself trying to keep a good stride — to look good while they drive by.
This is ridiculous. You need to stop comparing. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
 I start walking. As my body slows down I start to breathe in the morning. The buds of spring are everywhere waiting for that day when they can freely open and bring new color into a dull-toned world. One step, two step, three. I keep moving — my neighborhood is across the street. I see the path where I walked yesterday with Caleb and Grace. There are pine cones dropped on the side of the road and I wonder if those were some of Caleb’s treasures that he had stuffed into his orange sweatshirt.
Remember. You are NOT to define yourself the way you think the world wants you to be. You are NOT to define yourself even the way you think you should be. You need to be aware of God’s view of you. He made you. You have a purpose, a reason, an intent. Lift up your head, embrace the day the Lord has blessed you with.  
I can see my home.  The rusty-red colored door is visible from the end of the block. Brown grass, dormant from winter carpets the front lawn.  I know it won’t last. Within weeks it will be this vibrant green. Full of life and beauty.
You can do this. You can walk in that door with that lengthy list and you can be joyful. Thankful that you are blessed with a list of work to do. Thankful for each piece of laundry to be folded, and the yard to be raked, and the dishes to be washed. Thankful for the little boys who will try to snitch the brownies that you made last night. God defines you. Not those runners. Or that list. Or the mistakes. You are His creation. Your home is full of His blessings. Embrace it.
My hand reaches out and turns the front door handle. The knob with specks of mud attached thanks to little boys who create their best mud creations ever. As I turn it, I hear sweet little voices. My guys. 
Mom! You’re home! Mom’s home, she’s home! Everybody, guess what? Mom’s home!
I’m home. In my house of much to do. And I’m glad.  

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…. (Romans 12:2a)

How do you reset your mind? A walk? A drive? Coffee? Prayer? Laughter?
I’d love to hear your ways of regaining clarity in the everyday.

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13 comments

Anna Gray April 9, 2011 - 4:53 pm

Hi Rachel! Just wanted to tell you to take a peek at my blog…it looks like you won a little something! ^_^

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carissa @ lowercase letters April 9, 2011 - 7:47 pm

i’m convinced that the Lord spoke to me through your words. i’m the queen of comparisons. and today my house is extra dirty, the fridge is especially bare, the laundry is backed up, and i’m in overwhelm. thank you for reminding me to focus on things above. love you sweet friend. hope you enjoy your company.

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New Year Mum April 9, 2011 - 8:23 pm

Love your post… I refresh my mind with a walk – long overdue at the moment. You’ve inspired me to go out for a long walk in the sun today 🙂 Hope you’re having a lovely w/end xoxo

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Melanie April 10, 2011 - 12:52 am

This week I, too, was reconnecting with the Lord through long fast walks overflowing with prayer.

Thank you for your vulnerability and in turn encouraging me.

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Lori April 10, 2011 - 12:55 am

I wish I could tell you how I reset myself, but I’m still figuring it out! 🙁

I love this post though!

Would you want to contribute a guest post to our Love Dare?! Please send me an email if you’re interested (lori.eiko@gmail.com)

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Lea also known as "CiCi" April 10, 2011 - 12:55 am

You continually amaze me with your entries. So heartfelt, so inspiring! I’m always blessed when I stop by!

May love and laughter fill your Sabbath. Hugs!

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Candace April 10, 2011 - 1:10 am

I love this post. Thank you. 🙂

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Kris April 10, 2011 - 4:35 am

Hi Rachel. I see you are my newest follower!! So happy to have seen your pretty face there!! I have been following you for some time now. I think of your little guy so often. Pray for his return to total health!
Loved this post. I can very much identify!!

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Kris April 10, 2011 - 4:39 am

Well I believe I have made a mistake! I read your comment, and saw that I had a new follower named Rachel. It appears to be another Rachel. What is so odd, is that she is brand new to my blog, and her comment was immediately following yours!! Anyway…I do enjoy visiting you!!

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lmworley416 April 10, 2011 - 6:14 am

Do you want to know that I’m STILL not caught up? But somehow life goes on and it’s all good!
Praying hard right now!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Prayer Bears
My email address

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BARBIE April 10, 2011 - 7:38 am

Every time I visit your blog, God has something to say to me through you. I too have trouble letting things go, comparing myself to others, desiring for more time in my day. I know that I simply have to look to God and He will give me the grace. When I get anxious, it’s worship music that calms my spirit and helps me to gain the right perspective.

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Yana April 11, 2011 - 6:31 am

My heart especially needed to hear this message today. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share. Blessings!

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Kelli April 11, 2011 - 12:58 pm

This really lifted me today…as God has you do most days. I usually pray on the way to work, with no radio or talks with one of my sisters in Christ. Those things get me moving and grounded…focused on Him. My new devotional Jesus Calling is great too. Have a glorious day 🙂

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