Maybe you didn’t know how motherhood would change you.
I heard that sometimes you miss all you do. That sometimes you look back and wonder what to do now. Sometimes you need a reminder of the before and after. You, the mom, in your life, at this moment, need to remember. To see, to breathe, to move, to believe, to laugh, to cry, to move.
Knowing that you know.
Knowing that you know in your mind and your heart that you are a powerful woman. You are brave, wonderful, and full of creativity. You can listen to all that you think you should be doing or should have been doing or think that you need to do or you can stand in front of your mirror and see the warrior, the beauty, the strength that you have. In being you. In living a life of movement. And giving of self.
Did you see you before you became a mom?
Did you see how strong you would become or how helpless you can feel in the same moment? Did you know how much a hand in your hand in the store mattered or how quickly you can move to get your child out of the way of a backing up car. Did you know how you’d laugh and hurt at the same time? Did you feel the depth of love and crazy frustration you can have for someone at the same time?
And now, now look at you.
You would give of yourself for those creatures in your house you spill juice, leave legos on the floor, slam the door, forget their homework, tell you they don’t like dinner, pull all the clothes out of the drawer, yell I hate you, grumble about doing chores, and are always hungry for anything but what you have your home. You push yourself and work hard and answer phone calls and fight for them. You are not just a mom, dear friend.
In some ways, motherhood sets us free.
You didn’t see your motherhood strength.
Oh you were strong. You have always been strong.
Motherhood just unleashes a new kind of strength.
I know. You miss it sometimes. You would sit across the table from me, and if it’s like my table it now has marker stains and sticker remnants left on it, and you might tell me that you don’t feel very strong right now. You’ll tell me you feel tired. That you don’t think that you’re measuring up. That you wish you had more time. That your kids don’t like you. That you’re bored. That you never know what to make for dinner or that you hate laundry. That you knew time would go so fast but you didn’t realize it was this fast. That you’re scared. Worried. Hoping that you’re doing this motherhood thing right.
The truth is that it would be rooms of us moms all saying the same thing.
All of us moms. A collective group of women in a journey of life filled with moments of utter joy and devastating heartbreak and whole bunch of normal and moments of tediousness and moments where you are stuck dealing with a toddler who has a tantrum because you cut their sandwich into triangles instead of squares (You know they switch that up all the time, right?) You and me and all of us women who are also moms have this bond between us – a bond of loving someone else with all of hearts who oftentimes doesn’t seem to appreciate all we’re doing.
Motherhood is an empowering thing.
It could be easy for us to sit in everything that is hard. You and I could sit around the table and lament about our mistakes and complain about the every day. But, that’s not what you’re about. Not me either. Oh we can chat about the challenges and the frustrations, but you know, we’re not going to stay there. It’s about seeing. Remembering. Knowing that our mindset and our hearts make a difference. It’s in being willing to be a friend for others when they’re alone. It’s in seeing our lives and moving forward even though we’re exhausted.
Motherhood changes us. It takes a woman and makes her face her own self. It’s like forcing us to look in the mirror and then while we’re looking all of our struggles are exposed. Perfectionism, comparing, competition, vanity, worry, and more. Then we deal with it.
One cannot be the same.
As you catch your breath running through the daily grind race you become stronger and in fact, discover self. You’ve learned the art of counting to ten while while dealing with four year olds who refuse to go to bed. You know that sometimes to avoid angst that you need to cut ties. You learn how to fight. For yourself and for your kids. You can see past the airbrushed perfectionism of today’s culture and instead focus on the real beauty of the every day. In lives that aren’t perfect and maybe look like a shattered Hallmark dream. You’re willing to move forward, to love, to give, to fight, in a life of moments that are challenging and where you often feel alone.
So lets look and remember. Lets remember the before motherhood moments and remember them with fondness and then celebrate the woman we are now. You need to see that. You need to know that even while you are a mom that you are still you. That it is good to cultivate your dreams too. You are not just a mom, but now are a mom and you and it’s this awesome and beautiful mix. You need to remember that all those little things that you want to brush off like all the crumbs on the floor are actually the little things that pile together to make your beautiful life story. Those moments, the hugs, kisses, tucks into bed, bandages on the knees, texts to teens, all of that – that is your motherhood story being built one minute after another after another.
You know there is no after.
There is only before.
Rock on powerful mom. Yeah, you. You’re powerful. Brave. Changed. A fighter. A woman empowered. A lover. A nurturer. A giver. A prayer. A dreamer. A cleaner (haha). A mom. A woman with her own beautiful and unique and amazing story.
Take today by storm.
What is your brave mother story? Be ready to share yours – there’s a new project coming. And who today can you remind that they are brave? Do that. Those words, those notes, those friendship moments matter.
[Tweet “Your motherhood story is being built one minute after another after another.”]
[Tweet “There is no after motherhood. Only before. Motherhood matters. “]
“… there is no after. There is only before.” YES!!! So true. Keep up the great work inspiring us all. 🙂
Thank you! Thank you for the reminder… to do just so.
I remind myself often…lately… I am not Supermom! But, I can be a Super Mom!
I wish I knew if I made that up or if I’ve heard it somewhere before..
My before motherhood moments were almost 34 years ago. I can’t even remember what life was like back then! I do have vague memories of not doing much during the day. Oh the wasted time! When I actually had time! To do whatever I wanted to. We never appreciate what we have at the time, do we?
Praying in Seattle as always!
Isaiah 41:10, 13 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (13) For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
Before motherhood. 4 and half months ago.
I could leave when I wanted, run when I wanted, nap when I wanted, read when I wanted.
Now my time is dominated by this awesome, precious little person. I have to remember not to lose myself in that, but to continue to cherish every short moment I have with her.
Before motherhood. That’s the time that prepared me for motherhood. And motherhood will prepare me for any future battle because the lives and souls of my little ones are at stake.
Before motherhood. Before life.
Thank you. This was a beautiful reminder.
This moved me to tears. I’ve never carried or birthed biological children but have become a foster mother twice in the last month. It is the hardest, most frustrating and thankless job I’ve ever had; daily I dig deeper than I ever thought I could. Though I am sometimes tired and weary, I consider this my life’s greatest accomplishment. I am so humbled over how God intertwined these little lives and mine. In just a few short weeks I have been forever changed and have a newfound respect for all women who give so selflessly. Hats off to all the mamas.
pure and simple words to this post. Thank you. So much xx
Just when I felt that all was lost, 30 years of being a mom only to have 2 adult children that cannot be in same room, you’ve inspired me to continue. Thank you