Yep. Wait. Four little letters making a word that drives me batty. I am not a wait kind of gal. I’m a let’s fix it so I can move on with life kind of gal.
Actually, the surgeon wants me to do 3 weeks of intense physical therapy to see if we can strengthen that pesky pesky shoulder of mine. My mri was fairly inconclusive thanks to almost 20 year old anchors placed in my shoulder from my previous surgeries. So, I have to work with a physical therapist in order to judge strength and stability. Starting today.
That means if I have surgery it will be in the beginning of September. When school starts.
I had intended to start this school year running. Flying. On schedule. You know, organized. Ready to go. Ahead of the curve. Eager. Not possibly recovering from major shoulder surgery.
Let it go.
That’s what I’m telling myself. Learning doesn’t have to start in early September. We can start later. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. But, I don’t want to. I want to cling so tightly to this idea of having the perfect 2011-2012 school year that takes place with a magnificent launch in September. Oh, that was my wish.
I’m starting to realize that success and joy cannot be based on a silly September start date.
Let it go.
We cling to stuff, don’t we? It’s ironic the things that get me worked up — schedules, and organization, and the perfect plans. When they don’t seem to go the way I had envisioned it takes me a bit to regroup — to let it go. But, you know, if I sat here lamenting about my not so ideal September it would trickle down to my family. They’d pick up on the vibe, the mood that I’m in. I don’t want frustration to run deep — that’s not me.
So I tell them that ninja mom is going to go work that shoulder out. And who knows — maybe I won’t need surgery and can just get by doing physical therapy for the next 3-4 months. Ha ha ha — my arms would be in awesome shape.
Let it go.
But whatever it is? I’m okay with it. We’ll adapt. And life doesn’t have to be based on that day in September.
I won’t let it be.