This is a no filter post. It’s only real.
It’s about celebrating motherhood in a world of filters and expectations and airbrush ideas.
It’s about the beauty of normal.
Here’s the truth.
Sometimes I look at Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest and I cringe inside.
I’m kind of tired of the personas and the images.
What about real?
And now, now real is even a cliche word in the world of motherhood. We celebrate being a real mom but what in the world is a real mom anyway?
Be proud of you. Embrace your story. Even if it’s messy. Even if you have to work. Or you stay home. Or you have many kids. Or one. Or you vaccine. Or you don’t. Or you love to cook. Or McDonalds is your fave. Or or or or and or or add anything else that we think isn’t picture worthy.
You know what I think you and I and all the moms at Target and all the single moms and all the married moms and all the moms who want to quit and all the moms on the top of the world need to remember?
Just be you.
You don’t need filters and airbrushes and perfect birthday parties and all of that to highlight your awesome. You’re awesome if you get birthday party decorations at the dollar store. You’re awesome if you have a big zit on your chin and you don’t airbrush it out. You’re awesome if you drive an old car. You’re awesome if your kids have holes in their knees of their jeans (mine get them in about two days). You’re awesome when you feel like you just need to cry and you admit that you don’t have it together. You’re awesome when you play with your kids and race them in the park. You’re awesome when you work super super hard for your family and others don’t understand why you can’t take a break but you know you need food on the table.
That’s the real stuff.
The real stuff isn’t the perfect stuff or all the stuff you think you need to do or all the things the media highlights.
The real stuff is the day to day stuff. The little things matter stuff. The pulling up the boot straps and fighting. The pulling back of your hair in a pony tail. The reading of books. The going to work. And all of that. I don’t care that some celebrity lost all of her baby weight in 7 days with a miracle cure. I don’t care about all those things that sometimes define the hypothetical super mom. That doesn’t matter. That doesn’t define motherhood. Motherhood isn’t an image, a facade, a perfect body, an easily clean and always clean house, kids that always behave, a perfect marriage, an abundant check book, and on and on and on.
Motherhood is rather messy.
It’s dealing with fighting kids and puking kids and kids who don’t respect you and kids who think you’re an idiot. And trust me, they’ll be a day when those cute toddlers look at you like you’re an alien and weird. Don’t take it personally. Don’t think it’s because you’re not a good mom. Don’t let that behavior tell you that you’re not awesome.
Messy real motherhood is dealing with stuff and having this crazy mix of awesome and sad and hard and joy and normal and wondering what in the world am I doing? all mixed into the smorgasbord of normal.
Underneath the filters of motherhood and life that social media highlights there is, well, there is the real real. Not the real that sometimes we think motherhood is about. But it’s you. Being awesome in the normal. Being awesome when life is horrid. Being awesome by just being mom.
Messes. Hugs. Ice cream at night. Macaroni and cheese lunches. Counting to ten. Folding socks. Wiping tears. Pushing swings. Crying behind bathroom doors. Tying shoes. Driving to classes. Waiting up late. And a whole lot of patience.
The person who just like me thinks that sometimes she just doesn’t measure up to all that she sees in the digital world. The person that worries or wonders or feels shame that her life isn’t what she thinks the status quo would be. The person who sometimes feels alone. The person who thinks that filters are the way to go.
Let it go.
You don’t need filters to be awesome.
You just need to be you.
So go on. Use the filters on instagram and all of that. They’re fun. They’re awesome. They’re creative. I’ll use them. After all sometimes it’s super fun to make the sunset more brilliant or the vintage cabin look even more vintage.
But remember this in a world of Amaro, Mayfair, Valencia, and Inkwell:
You don’t need anything to highlight the awesome of you.
All you need to be is you.
i was just literally getting ripped up by my ex about my failings as a mother when i read this. i needed it at that moment, so thank you.
So sorry about the tough stuff. You’re not failing as a mother. Remember that truth.
Amen to that 🙂
I do love that last photo so much! And what’s that orange thing in the pic with the kids in the van? Interesting. Not a fan of airbrushed people! Don’t understand why they can’t just be themselves? But then…maybe they just don’t now who they are?
Psalms 69:1-3, 13 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God…But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.
Thanks, Lynn. The orange thing? It’s a bobber on a fishing pole. 🙂
Love this!! Trying so hard to not care about all that social media perfection…keeping it real, trying to be the best mom for my 4 kiddos this summer. Said see ya later to Facebook, made a summer to do list with the kids, and am checking off all that fun stuff and enjoying the family I’ve been blessed with….no filters :).
Love your blog. Happy summer!!
Thank you, lisa! Enjoy your summer!
and thank you for the very kind words.
But of course it is! Makes sense…but it is pretty close to her head!
Pour out your heart to the Lord! He hears! Praying right now!!!!!!!!
Psalms 42:1-5 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday. Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
Know that you’re in my prayers!
Psalms 61:1-4 Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.