I know you.
You’re like me.
Running and racing through a life that seems to pick up exponential speed. There’s you. You with your dreams, hopes, plans, and never ending stack of dishes and laundry and homework and diapers to change and phone calls to make and crumbs to sweep and library books to find and bills to pay and work to finish and a life to live. And sometimes it’s easy to feel just a bit lost in one’s own life story.
I mean sometimes, truthfully, sometimes I’ll ask how did this become my story?
I’ll look at life and the dreams that I had when I was an eight year old with freckles that she hated all over her nose and I’ll see just how different life is from those moments spent imagining in my room with the pink floral wallpaper. I’ll look at the list of stuff to do and dreams that seem to fade away on paper left out in the sun too long and I’ll just sigh a sigh of one feeling lost. It’s that lost feeling of being so busy in a life that races out of control. Sometimes I’ll sit at my table and just have this overwhelming feeling that I’m simply not enough or am not doing enough.
And you?
Do you feel lost? Do you worry, just like me, that you’re simply not enough?
Even though you’re really an exceptional mom?
Life, the fairy tale life, is often this nebulous reality that if you let it can taunt and tease and strip away at the beauty of the every day real life. Yes, the beauty that is found in realizing that you are enough. And exceptional.
[Tweet “Beauty is found in realizing that you are enough. “]
I know. It’s so hard to see when one feels lost in a life that races around them.
It’s hard to see the beauty when you’re tired. It’s hard to see the beauty when the housework and the bills and the expectations pile up higher than the snowbanks covering the stop signs in this never ending winter here in Minnesota. It’s hard to see the beauty when kids rebel, sass back, or are just kids. It’s hard to see the beauty when you’re stuck in the same rinse and repeat and rinse and repeat cycle of normal but still feel like even though you’re working constantly you’re always just a wee bit behind. It’s hard to see it when relationships aren’t what you’re dreamed and you wake up in a home and you’re alone. It’s hard to see the beauty, sweet moms, sometimes.
Falling down in life hurts.
But you know, when you have those moments, those times where the tears fall and you look at motherhood and the months yet to be flipped, you must remember that even if you fall, have a bad day, feel overwhelmed, and just want to burn all that laundry, that you will get up. That’s the strength that you have.
It’s so hard to remember it when you’re in the midst of life and feeling overwhelmed and lost.
But I want you to remember it. Not in a faux fuzzy let’s all paint rainbows and sprinkle them with glitter (oh, glitter, my crafting nemesis). Not in a cheerleading type way that helps for the thirty-two seconds that it takes you to read my words that I wrote after a collection of feeling lost kind of days. Not in a here are seven steps to complete in the next two hours for the next six weeks so you can be the perfect mom kind of way. But, in a real, authentic, heart changing posture kind of way.
Listen.
You are an exceptional person.
You are a mother. And yes, a person who falls, fails, stumbles, burns dinner, forgets to pack homework, Â and messes up at times. Â But listen, again, you don’t stay there. You pick yourself up. You find courage and bravery and tenacity and resolve and decide that pancakes are an excellent dinner option. You suck it in, breathe deep, and keep going even though you just want a break. Those are qualities of a hero. Of one that we look at and remember and honor. I know. It’s hard to see the nobleness in the everyday. But it’s there. It’s in keeping your head up. Even if you feel lost.
Your kids might never realize the awesomeness that you give to them or how hard you fight or the fact that the spilled milk over the kitchen table right when you had to leave was enough to make you cry. Or scream. Or wonder why that table that looked so cool in the store is the one that now has milk seeping in the cracks again. Â You probably don’t even see how cool you are at times. If you’re like me you’ll dismiss your strengths or apologize for things you think you should be doing and you’ll miss out on seeing just what makes you exceptional.
Let me tell you. Being exceptional is not found in those amazing huge gigantic things, that list of shoulds, that the world screams at you as the qualities of a good mother.
It’s found in those every day normal small little thing moments.
The times on your knees pulling out gloves and mittens searching for a pair when you have three minutes before your kids are picked up. It’s in the cleaning out of skinned knees and placing bandages on and wrapping them up in your arms. It’s in wiping up that spilled milk, the milk that seeped in the cracks on the table, and looking at your four year old and saying I love you. It’s in learning how to fight for you and your voice and being able to say no to other’s expectations and realizing you’re enough. It’s in letting yourself be real, letting yourself cry when you need to, and letting yourself be the best you can be. Not the best that culture wants to scream at you to be. But you.
Who do you think you are?
You are exceptional.
Even in the ordinary. In the fighting. In the throw in the towel days. In the times you feel lost. In the times where you stand at the doorway and watch your teenager drive away. In the times where you are alone. In the late nights, the early mornings. In all the times where you stand in the laundry room and fold the clothes and wonder how your story became your story. In the times where you crank Pandora and just dance free. In the times when you dig in the sand and look at stars and tuck blankets up to chins. In the times where you race through the drivethru and grab lunches and wash macaroni pots with caked on noodles out. In the times when your heart aches and you still fight.
[Tweet “You are an exceptional mother in the ordinary.”]
That is who you are.
A mother.
So today remember that. Not a list of things that you think you should be doing. But rather, sweet mother, begin to see how strong you are every single day.
Exceptional.
So to you who feels lost in a world that spins like crazy and wonders is she is enough.
I tell you, yes. You are exactly 100% perfectly enough.
And that is all you need to be.
************
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For more reminders about why motherhood matters check out my my dear mom letter ebook – it’s full of letters reminding you why you matter and why you’re not failing and honestly, why mothers are absolutely amazing.
20 comments
Thank you for this. I had a moment last night where the tears just came and it was as though I had just held them in too long and couldn’t hold them in any longer. This is exactly what I needed to read. You have a gift for writing.
What a blessing it is to call you friend. 🙂
Your life’s pretty much been turned upside down lately. You already had so much to do but now you have so much less time to do it in!
The greatest comfort we can receive is knowing that the Lord is our refuge! Praying!
Psalms 46:7, 10-11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.(10-11) Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
all of these things I KNOW. So why did this make me cry?
Because. I may know these truths in my head, but man: the voices proclaiming my inadequacies & failures seem to be so much louder than the still small voice assuring, reassuring, that I am Enough.
this was really beautiful – thank you.
bless you today Kirsten.
So uplifting. I love reading your blog. I feel like I am drowning most of the time. So reading your words helps me come up for air. Thanks for the breath. Meghan
Know that I’m always praying!
Psalms 86:1-4 Bow down thine ear, O LORD, hear me: for I am poor and needy. Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my God, save thy servant that trusteth in thee. Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily. Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
I needed these words today on this Friday-that-feels-like-a-Monday. Thank you for blessing me.
Oh I’ve been feeling this so much lately. This feeling of not being enough. Ever. And watching my dreams fade away. I keep looking forward to spring as if warmer weather and fewer days snowed in will make it all better…
Still like the hair!
Know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!
Psalms 86:5-7 For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. Give ear, O LORD, unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications. In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.
Even when our son is all grown up and out on his own with a wife and child, it still hurts that he needs to have his appendix out in the morning! A mother’s job is never done!
Always praying!
Psalms 86:15-16 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant, and save the son of thine handmaid.
{Melinda} Never feeling “enough” … like there’s something I could always be done. Or should have done. But now the moment is past. And my kids seem too old for me to change certain mistakes. I have to continually bring it to the feet of the Father … and ask Him to fill in where I fall short.
Day started so very early but was glad I could be there for the kids. Katrina really needed the support. First time anything like this has happened to Jared. So far he’s behaving himself and is home and all is well.
Praying right now!
Psalms 17:6-7 I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God: incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech. Shew thy marvellous lovingkindness, O thou that savest by thy right hand them which put their trust in thee from those that rise up against them.
My youngest grand child is almost 17 months now and he’s getting into everything and climbing on everything! What a day!
Keep your eyes on the Lord! Praying!
Psalms 62:1-2 Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved.
Thank you so much for putting words to how I feel. I am so deeply grateful for this fantastic post & am sharing it on Pinterest & Facebook right now for all my other fantastic Mama friends!
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. 🙂
Rachel
This made me cry! I’ve been feeling lost for a couples weeks now ive put myself so far behind to but my sweet angels first just so I can be that oh so dedicated mommy but I’m realizing I can’t be that mommy if I’m not feeling good enough I’ve now started putting time away to put my little bit of makeup on go to sleep instead of staying up past midnight to clean and worry about it in The morning I’m starting to feel good enough and to read this soaked into my brain I was ment to read this thank you! (Not to mention going threw a possible split yes I cry and I sometimes do it in front of the girls but I want them to know cry if you need to cry you do not need to hide)
Thank you so much for your empowering words. I really needed this today…… as most of the other days!
All of this is how I feel , but also, the feeling of wanting to be more than a mom. The feeling of not exsisting. Wanting to be a mom, and also a whole person. Mom and The woman who used to paint, or had a job. Who had time with other adults, who brain worked. Who had time. Who had girl friends and got to write. I love being a mom, even when I don’t. But, I really want to be a mom and a fulfilled person in my own right! I love your posts Rachel!They always make me think, they resinate with me, and like all good writing, they make me want to write.
Was crying in bed, feeling guilty, stressed and wondering how I am at this point in life, as a single mom of 6 kids. Your article hit home and it is so greated to be reminded that There are others who feel this way and that it’s gonna be ok. So thank you. 🙂