to sort or not to sort, that is the question…

by Rachel Marie Martin

Every evening {well almost every evening} my two, wonderful, older boys, Brennan and Caleb, and I tidy their room for bed. And every evening {yes, every evening} their room looks like a bomb went off in there. Brennan’s bed is covered in toys — this amazing story and set — and there are boxes half empty and overturned and piled.

And honestly? I get so incredibly frustrated.

You see, at night, I’ll spend a good 30 minutes with them sorting through their toys and putting the right stuff back in the right boxes. Playmobil here, legos there, army men here, animals there, magnets here, and so on.

And every morning those sorted boxes get mixed up. Within minutes.

They don’t really care about keeping the animals separated from the castle guys. All they see is this grand story incorporating all those toys. So they look for the perfect lego man, and the tiger at the bottom of the animal box and the piece of string that happens to be in the corner of the closet. For them, it’s a story. Not a mess.

It gets me wondering.

Do I really need to have them painstakingly sort through each object every night? Does my love of organization and order apply to this room? Would it just be easier to purchase several bins and <gasp> let them just put the toys in them? We could still keep large categories {ah the organizing part of me just can’t let it go} — like legos, and animals, and then well, the rest could just get mixed. They can totally clean it — but the sorting is overwhelming.

They’re great boys. Make that awesome boys. I know that when they play in their room they’re not pulling toys out to “frustrate mom and make a mess” — no, they’re using their imaginations, and playing with each other, and creating things, and letting their little brothers come in — those little guys who enjoy emptying boxes — to play with them.  And every night clean-up becomes this long and tedious and frustrating process.

I think I need to let go. And simplify their room. And their clean-up. And praise them for their play and for their work in cleaning. And just not need it to be “perfect” in my way.


How about you? Toys sorted? Or semi-sorted? Or the giant “just throw it all in there” toybox?

Let this organizing loving momma know so that I can breathe. It’s just one room, right?

Next thing you know I’ll be putting unfolded clothing in their drawers…

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21 comments

Anna July 12, 2011 - 12:37 pm

My girls are old enough to clean up their toys alone so for the most part they are thrown into the boxes. About once a month I go through and separate them out, but that is mostly to pull out anything that needs to be pulled (broken, lost peices).

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Hanna July 12, 2011 - 12:45 pm

I started out with separate containers labels for every type of toy – kitchen toys, Little People, mega blocks, etc. – but over time (mainly b/c I was the only one that cared about separation) they all ended up being stored together. The only things that really have their own homes now are dress up clothes, mega blocks & books. Every thing else seems to get put wherever it’s handy. It took me a while, but I just had to be okay with that at some point!

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playdoughinmycarpet July 12, 2011 - 1:18 pm

Ouch. I have the perfectionist sorting thing too. Just this weekend I had my 8 year old make labels for his drawers and told him that he should put his toys in the appropriate drawers.

I guess it’s good to have a balance. On the other hand, if something’s always mixed up or perceived lost, you could spend so much time looking for it. So… I don’t know what the answer is!

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starla July 12, 2011 - 1:20 pm

Of course I sort and sort and resort and it still just ends up all in one wad of a mess.
Mom of a boy – go figure! lol

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Krista July 12, 2011 - 1:23 pm

We are somewhere between kinda sorted and no sorting. Mostly we have bins that they dump everything into and that seems to work just fine for them. They actually like hunting through the bins until they find that certain item they were looking for. It’s like its own little victory when they find it. I wish things were more organized but the don’t seem to care one bit.

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Kelley July 12, 2011 - 2:13 pm

Ha! The joke around here is “UH Oh! Momma’s comin’ upstairs…”. Yes, I used to be a totally sorted perfectionistic {grouchy} momma. I say “Let it go”. A couple of big bins – sort of sorted – works around here. Life’s too short…but you know that, right? Happy changing!

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rachel July 12, 2011 - 2:35 pm

Legos go with Legos and Playmobile go with Playmobile. I get so frustrated because, how hard can it REALLY be to put things back where they go? Aaargh!

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Our Peculiar Lives July 12, 2011 - 3:12 pm

I posted on your facebook. . . but lol. . . yeah. sorting is much more important to me than it is to them. Really though,they’re so much more creative when they’re playing with almost all the toys they own. . . Lego only doesn’t go with horses in our minds, I guess! 😉 I have a toy tower with a dozen or so bins that I try to keep them sorted in. Usually I go in once a month and do it. It lasts about a day. I’m tempted to sell it for $40 and get a big rubbermaid bin! 😉

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Theresa July 12, 2011 - 3:14 pm

I am a sorter for sure. I have bins and baskets for everything and it drives me nuts when they are mixed up. My kids are pretty good about it but once in a while I need to have a misc. bin for all the odds and ends 🙂

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Kelli July 12, 2011 - 3:23 pm

I like it to be organized. Maybe have them put all of the toys away…show them which container for what. I’ve seen people use pictures as labels to help. But don’t stress about it

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Bonnie Nieuwstraten July 12, 2011 - 3:32 pm

Well, I can only share with you my 9 year old son’s philosophy, which I have slowly adopted. Lego guys, army guys and Playmobil warriors from various points in history really do all like to live and play together! In fact, he now makes a safety pathway at night, and I let the happy mess continue for a few days. We’re all happier, really!! And then I always remind myself, one day in the not-so-distant future, all those messy guys will be forgotten, and put on a shelf and I’ll miss them.

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Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) July 12, 2011 - 6:54 pm

We organize loosely. Imaginext in one bin, lego in another, trains/tracks in a third. This level of sorting is something that all three of my boys can do (ages 2, 4, and 6) and honestly, I think that it helps them in their play. All of them get annoyed if they can’t find something they’re looking for, and this helps. Also, I’ve noticed that they tend to play better (and have more fun!) if the room isn’t a complete mess to begin with. It is a balance, though – I’d prefer to have all toys sorted and put away at all times! (ridiculous, I know!) 🙂

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Our Family for His Glory July 12, 2011 - 7:00 pm

We do a little of both… what a wonderful reminder that every little thing doesn’t have to be sorted perfectly! 🙂
Jessica

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carissa July 12, 2011 - 7:30 pm

we have organized chaos at our house. i’m coming to grips with it and am letting go of the desires for everything to be in their right places. it’s hard. but then i think, will i look back on life and regret not spending the extra time to sort and clean? probably not. the minutes are better spent reading stories and cuddling. : ) your boys are handsome – as always!!!

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Cheryl July 12, 2011 - 7:44 pm

oh girl, i totally put unfolded clothes in their drawers. 🙂 because it ends up that way anyways. mine are too young to really keep it all organized when they sort through their drawers. and as far as toys go, we have certain things we put all back when we’re done – like blocks, dolls, little figurines, etc – but the rest, I have them put in baskets and off the floor. i have learned that it is better for me to just let some of those things go (for now) and be a kind mom. i was raised with a very strict mother and i don’t think i’m a better person for how i was taught to organize. great post – gets me thinking! 😉

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PinkPowerRangerMom July 12, 2011 - 10:26 pm

LET IT GO!! You will feel so much better. We have a very loose system. We have several boxes for Legos and the accompanying accoutrements, we have a box for wooden blocks (of all types), a bin for “guys” i.e. any and all action type figures, and a bin for dress up stuff. It makes my life much easier. Every once in a while, like every few months, I go in with Evan and help him resort and toss stuff that is broken, He can clean up and I don’t have to worry. Also, in the lego tubs we keep the accompanying booklets for when he wants to build the “real thing” that the box of bricks was for, which is such a relief from trying to keep each kit sorted and organized.

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The Miller's July 13, 2011 - 2:21 am

Here’s what I do with my kids toys. (the hubs like this method too) I have three baskets- each has a purpose/label/role. (1. puzzles. 2. instruments. 3. electronic-type toys) THEN I have a BIG bin— that is for any of those small annoying toys & other random toys. Every night when my organization ocd comes out. I organize what I can of the 3 baskets. & stick the rest in the big bin. Hus & I LOOOOVE this method sooooo much. Even tho it all ends up mixed up the next day… every night I can go to bed feeling at peace with my organizing habit! :o) Let us know what you end up doing!!

♥Jazmin

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Shanda July 13, 2011 - 2:22 am

haha…my kids are 17, 20 and 20 and I (and they) are still as disorganized as when they were little!!! But we’re happy. I guess that is worth something 🙂 Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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lmworley416 July 13, 2011 - 6:01 am

Bedtime should be as stress free as possible. Go with the bins! If the time comes when they can’t find toys maybe they’ll decide they want them more organized, but until then, enjoy your bedtime with them.
No matter what happens in life, the Lord has us wrapped up in His loving care. Praying!
Psalms 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
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Sofia July 13, 2011 - 6:12 am

You may already know this (or not have this brand in Minnesota,) but for R.W. Knudsen’s Spritzer drinks, they are not too sugary, and gluten free. Just saw this tonight.

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Liz @ thequickjourney.blogspot.com November 21, 2011 - 6:23 pm

i just found your blog and have been perusing it this morning. 🙂 my daughter (4) puts everything in the right spot, and she always has been very organized (like me). then my son came along (1 1/2), and he’s just satisfied to not have things scattered. he just throws things in tubs and away he goes. they are so different. 🙂

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