Merry Christmas from my family to yours! May your day be filled with moments of joy and a celebration of family. Many blessings to each of you – you’ve blessed me this year with your kind comment, encouragement, and sweet words. Enjoy today! ~Rachel
Several years ago I wrote a post titled reclaiming family. The post had pictures of my kids at the local orchard, among pumpkins, dried corn, cute sure you can pet them animals, and old grumbly tractors that moved throughout the apple tree groves. I wrote words about being busy and how I just wanted to reclaim our family – more family times, less time driving, less doing things that took away from time together.
Yet, for two more years I kept being that busy.
Racing, really. From here to there and there to here and here to there and sometimes somewhere in between. Family dinners were smooshed inbetween the busy – and the activities while they were good – they were also busy and they kept us, as a family, busy all the time.
I was exhausted.
My children were exhausted.
I could see it. They lived in this hurry up hurry hurry hurry we’re going to be late let’s get going come on come on get in the car let’s leave now type of life.
So we decided to stop.
And that decision – to say no to the extracurriculars for a season – was one of the hardest decisions that we’ve made. It was saying no to really great things – ballet and taekwondo and extra classes and all of that – but we said no so that we could sit around the table as a family over dinner and just be.
We wanted to learn how to breathe again.
And so here we are – three months into this reclaiming family space – and we are relearning and readjusting our rhythm of life. Dinners are slower. My children have relaxed – I see it – they are calmer, less stressed, and much more optimistic. Who would have thought the busy would pull at their optimism? And yet, it had.
I see joy trickling back in our home.
It’s still hard. I fight the thoughts of we need to do this everyone is involved in extracurriculars what if my kids are missing out and all of that. I’ve just had to turn away those worries and instead look at my entire family gathered around the table in my kitchen and remember that these days are limited. I want to guard them and live intentional – making the best use of my time and guarding my children’s hearts. My Hannah? She’s got less than two years till she graduates – it’s either now or it’s never – she’ll be grown and gone and I would have raced through it all.
It’s about rediscovering family.
And ultimately when I am old and rocking in my white rocking chair on my front porch with begonias blooming in pots and ferns in a basket I know I will look back on those days when my kids were young and I know that I would rather remember dinner on the table with all seven of my children gathered around versus the racing frenetic life that was before.
We decided to look at culture’s norm of being busy and for a season say no.
I don’t know how long we’ll choose to live this way, but for now, I’m embracing the everyday and am truly trying to etch in my brain this time as a family together.
It’s our one year off.
And we’re finding joy again.
*****
It’s been so intriguing watching my children learn to re-adapt to a slower pace of life. In that intentional stillness they’ve rediscovered interests and talents that had been pushed to the side by the constant busy life and racing to catch up. Do I think the activities are bad? Absolutely not. In fact, I am so blessed that my children have had these opportunities in their life. For our family, during this season, it was about being very intentional and stepping back and slowing down.
I plan on sharing more of our one year off journey as the year progresses. To receive finding joy via email simply click subscribe to finding joy.
I think Samuel thinks about going outside from the moment his blond head hits his Backyardigan pillow till the moment he wakes up and tosses his much-loved green and yellow John Deere blanket aside and wanders down the stairs for his gluten free breakfast.
Go outside, momma?
He’ll start asking before breakfast – it doesn’t matter if it’s raining or sunny or 97 degrees. He sees that world of wonder beckoning to him and watches his older brothers run in and out as the day progresses and he just wants his time in that backyard of green.
Go outside, momma?
All morning I made excuses to not go outside. I’ve got dishes, Samuel, I would say. And then laundry, sweeping, and tidying. Truth is? Sigh. I didn’t really want to go outside yet. But, that little face did.
Go outside, momma?
Okay, Samuel. I finally relented and pushed my schedule filled with lots of things to do but none of them urgent in the moment away. As I opened the heavy sliding door to the much in need of new stain deck, my little healthy boy ran past my and scurried down the stairs. He ran from thing to thing to thing – with simple joy on his face.
I found a spot in the grass that needed mowing but I chose to ignore in this moment and watched.
I watched a little boy running in the backyard from toy to toy and back to the fence and to the swingset and again. Then he stopped, and looked at me, and ran over to my always in bloom Black-eyed Susans growing next to the deck. His two little hands grabbed the stem and plucked one of those golden flowers with the black button center out.
For you, momma.
Dishes. And to think that I’d been telling him no for hours and using the dishes as an excuse to not go outside until I was totally ready. He doesn’t care about those dishes being done on time. He just wanted to go outside, to play, to run — and then, when he was there he simply thanked me. There was no complaining about me taking too long, — he just thanked.
Oh, those children, they are constantly teaching me.
Let go of the dishes.
Run in the sun.
Pick the flowers versus leaving them.
Don’t give up.
Thank those you love.
Have patience.
Good things come to those who wait.
Embrace today.
Go outside, momma?
In 5 months, when the world is blanketed in white, I will be thinking of the days when we could just freely walk outside and wishing that I would have done more of it. So now, now I’m going to work to answer yes, we’ll go outside just a little more often.
After all, look at what Samuel taught me.
Little things matter.
More.
*****
thanks so much for the encouraging words and for sharing my post 7 ways to cultivate simple in a busy world from yesterday. It’s a blessing to know that I’m not alone in the quest for stillness in a crazy fast world of information.
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Sometimes we need just a bit of a reminder of joy – I know I get wrapped up in my own agendas, ideas, to-do’s, and urgents that I forget the simple, beautiful joy that can be found in fellowship with others and by stepping out of the normal and looking at life with fresh eyes.
Yesterday? We spent the day in the small town near the farm where my mother grew up. My Samuel? He spent the day digging in the dirt or laughing and hanging around my dad. For Samuel? This was his idea of a perfect day – despite the heat and high humidity.
Here’s the evidence.
Ah, to live with that amount of joy.
That’s what I want to remember.
So many of you know that we homeschool. We’ve homeschooled for eleven years now. Eleven. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,and 11. One of the questions that I get so often is – what’s your homeschool style? your method? your groove? Well, maybe not your groove, but you know, a homeschooling family, or any family, kind of gets into their today I’m going to rest in the grass and think type of groove.
So what’s our style? I’d like to name us the Classical Literature Unit Study Unschooling yet Relaxed Learning family that uses Textbooks on occasion and enjoys a great deal of Delight Directed Learning along with Notebooking in the style of Charlotte Mason.
That’s us.
But more than that, I’ve learned to not be a slave to a label. Can you imagine me spitting out that label up there every time someone asked what our style was? Way too long. Complicated. Rather I’ve learned to embrace our family, our learning style and groove, and to not let a label, a style, or a method define us.
Here’s a bit of who we are – and our eclectic style – in ten ways.
1. We schedule knowing that life happens. No matter how I start in the fall – with the perfect program {we loved our year with Geography Matters and Trail Guide to Learning} or the perfect notebooking pages and the schedule mapped out till June – I can guarantee you that there will be something that will cause that schedule to veer off track. Quickly. Instead of getting discouraged with the days that get bumped, I’ve instead learned to embrace the days where we get double done and not fret on the days where we had to just exist in survival mode. It’s a one day at a time philosophy – an embracing of today – and being okay to sit at the table, be family, and play Mancala in the morning before math. Even though we’ll get math done later.
2. Kids are different. Not one of my children learns the same way. You’d think that after teaching for so many years that I would get the “system” down. Well, there really isn’t a system and a program that fits each of them. There are things that we love and carry over – All About Learning Press/Spelling and Reading, Saxon Math {yep, that’s what we use}, and more. Do I use them the same with each of them? No. But, I’ve learned to adapt our style at the moment to fit the child. Maybe I’ll use more narration with one and copywork with another or more hands on versus read aloud to teach a certain topic.
3. Media. My kids have learned to use media. I’m not a parent that moves away from media, but rather I’ve adopted the idea to teach them to use it responsibly. Hannah started blogging when she 12 years old and through the blogging ended up discovering many of her talents. My husband and I want them to be aware of media, to be wise with media, to set boundaries and time limits with media, and to ultimately learn to use it for the good.
4. We read. We simply are readers, and I think our love of books has trickled down to our children. We have always made sure to have many books in the home and have encouraged reading. Grin – we start them young.
5. We don’t have a room set aside as a classroom. I wrote an entire post about this last year — where we learn — that details our home and learning environment . Bottom line? I’d love a room to store all of our homeschool items. The salt dough maps {made with a rice flour blend}, the piles of papers, the 3d models, the science experiments, and more. We just don’t have a place in our home that we’ve chosen to dedicate specifically for that. So we learn everywhere – in the kitchen, on the couch, on the front porch, on the back deck, and in the car. Learning in our home isn’t set to one room. And, lol, it can include Star Wars books…
6. We never EVER have pencils that work. I don’t care if I just spent $4.39 at Target. Inevitably one of the little boys will pump out all the lead in the mechanical pencils or all the other pencils will have dull tips. Please tell me I’m not alone….
7. Free to Explore. I am fairly delight directed in my teaching style even though I have a list of goals and topics and basics that I aim to cover each year. I have gotten to the point where I’m comfortable letting them run with a topic even though it’s not on the schedule. Just recently Brennan found a science book about Elephants. For two days straight the conversations between the two of us consisted of Mom did you know that elephants can’t jump or the african elephant has more wrinkles and is much bigger and that they can live to be really old and the african elephant has bigger ears to keep cool?
8. Coffee. It’s our style. It’s my style. Thanks to my faithful Keurig or runs to Caribou Coffee I tend to always have a cup of Joe next to me while I’m working. Just don’t bump it so it hits my planner. And, sigh, yep, I’m often convinced into giving those littles just a sip.
9. Grace, grace, Grace. You’ve read my write about that need for grace. I have had littles in my house for my entire homeschooling career and I’ve learned about the need for grace. I’m going to say it again – just keep trying, keep working at it, but balance it with grace. Homeschooling, being a mother, having a toddler in the house – it all takes grace. I think the Lord gave me a Grace in my life to remind me to rest in grace.
10. Living Alive. Life can race by, the jobs can fill our page, the to-do list can be daunting, so much to do and so much to accomplish and yet, it can be so easy to be asleep and numb to all there is good around you. It’s a balance of learning and pushing the math facts {cause you know we need to know how to multiply} versus stepping back when needed and focusing on the heart. In our homeschool, in our family, and in our lives I want to foster this attitude of gratitude, joy, and respect for each other. And that attitude, that heart for our day in our family, means family matters, that hearts matter, and that we are so thankful for the gift of each day and the opportunity to spend time with each other learning, growing, and sharing life.
That’s our homeschool, our life, our groove.
In ten reasons.
~Rachel
My oldest, my once little, but now almost grown, sweet Hannah turns sixteen today. I know it’s cliche, but I really do wonder where the time has gone. I remember turning sixteen, and honestly, it feels as if it was just yesterday. And, yet, now today, my lovely picture taking photographer daughter is celebrating that milestone sixteenth birthday.
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| photo taken by Madeline Hunt |
It makes me ponder those sixteen years where I’ve been called mom. It’s this tension of not wanting her {or her siblings} to grow up and yet and the same time being so thrilled to walk beside them as they do. Yes, thrilled. I remember when they were young telling them {over and over} that the world will tell them that these teenage years are years of conflict, and battle, and thinking your parents are dumb – and yet – our story, your story, doesn’t have to follow that pattern. In fact, also from being young, I would tell my children {and still do tell them} how I’m excited to journey with them through those years and how they can be wonderful despite the ups and downs.
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| little Hannah |
I love {most days} having teenagers in my house. They can be so full of life, with opportunity everywhere, and it can be an honor to walk the path with them. Culture is trying to rip them from our homes – it tells them that parents aren’t intelligent {look at most cartoons/television shows/books, or that we must fight a great deal, and more. But, here’s the deal, just as I must fight to be attentive in my littles lives I must equally fight {and pray} for my teenagers. They deserve respect in a world that tends to look down on them and calls them “trouble” or “up to no good” and so on. It’s a fight for their hearts, and of sitting up late, and bending a knee in prayer, and talking, or listening, and admitting one’s wrong, and being willing to cut some strings, but also willing to enforce rules, and of still saying I love you even in those stressful times.
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| chloe and hannah 2003 |
So with that, my dear Hannah Nicole, I want to wish you a Happy 16th Birthday. You know I can’t even type those words without getting just a tad teary. It wasn’t that long ago when I would rock you asleep in the chair, or we’d play dollhouse, or walk to the store to get a chocolate dipped cone {wait we still can do that — hmm} or you’d ask me to read your just one more story at bedtime. I remember the excitement on your face as the plane took of when we flew to California, and the joy with which you wandered around the ocean when we lived in San Diego. You were a fighter {Still are} – I saw that grow in the time when Dad went through cancer treatment and then again when Samuel was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.
You are a beautiful addition in my life. I don’t know what I thought those sixteen years would be like when they placed you in my arms at 11 pm on June 3, 1996, but I can tell you I never thought that they would go this fast or that I would be so blessed and honored to have you call me mom.
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| newborn Hannah and me {with my very large hair} June 1996 |
So today, on your sweet sixteen, I celebrate you. I love you with all my heart and am forever blessed to have you share this walk on this earth with me. I like you as well – who you’ve become, and how you love the Lord, and the goals and aspirations that you’ve set. You’re pretty amazing. I’m thankful for all you do for this family, and the laughter that you bring, and the creativity that you bless us with. I’m grateful for your willingness to help, and how you’re an amazing big sister, and a wonderful daughter. Hannah, I love you and am thankful for you. So grateful – so remember that deeply – that you are forever loved.
Happy 16th Birthday Hannah!
I love you forever.
~mom
~mom
****
to wish Hannah a Happy 16th Birthday and to visit her blog simply click Hannah Nicole/Aspire
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