These are the top ten posts from 2015. They’re a crazy collection of emotions and thoughts and feelings. Some have carried over from the year before – because I believe they are something that we all deal with – and some are new and written just now.
Each post title links to the post if you’d like to read it and there’s also a brief synopsis of each post as well as my favorite quote to tweet (or write down). Enjoy!
What’s it about? Us finding ourselves and happiness again.
Sometimes sometimes sometimes it’s easy to lose us and our happy in the midst of this crazy life journey with twenty plus years of motherhood tucked in the middle. Tears. You’re not alone, sweet mother, if you’ve ever felt this way. Listen, please, please, please. You are not the only mom who has ever stood in the kitchen with kids running around and dishes piled high and loud noises and tears have filled your eyes as you wondered what happened to happy. It’s okay. For real. I know those moments hurt and can make you feel like you just want to throw your hands in the air and that sometimes you just want a break and sometimes just a hug or to be loved and told you matter.
So listen.
It is okay. You are a good mom. Even in all those moments.
[Tweet “Maybe we should all make a goal for this year to find one more thing to do to be happy.”]
What’s it about? Seeing that it’s the little things in life that truly matter.
Don’t be weary, dear mother, in trying to keep up with a supermom agenda.
There is no supermom, really – that whole supermom who has everything together is just a fallacy. There are real moms. Real, authentic moms who admit that they don’t have it all together but keep on fighting. Scared and tired moms who keep fighting. Moms who are overwhelmed by keeping up with littles all day long. Moms like you and me who sometimes feel lost in a world of outward accomplishments.
[Tweet “A mother isn’t based on external perfection. “]
What’s it about? Being real and talking about the hard days – without guilt or shame or judging – and in it all understand that we are not alone.
Somehow motherhood became this expectation of greatness and awesomeness and there are so many of us out there that are running so hard to just keep up that we’re out of breath and we don’t even have time to sit on the sidelines and catch our breath. And we don’t give ourselves grace to have those moments where we stumble and fall down and cry tears of exhausting and sadness and feel the emotion of life and not rationalize it with the logic of life that will tell us that we’ll be okay.
When I’m at that point I don’t want to be called supermom.
I just want to be told it’s okay.
[Tweet “You are strong. Powerful.”]
What’s it about? Replacing those thoughts of not measuring up with truths about what we do.
You know, you’re not failing.
You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read, and more. Just like I wrote yesterday – we make mistakes {ten things moms need to remember} – we just need to learn from them. We’re out of breath, racing, and exhausted, but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That’s not you.
[Tweet “I want you to stop telling yourself you’re failing. Instead I want you to replace it with I can do this.”]
What’s it about? My oldest is a sophomore in college and my youngest in kindergarten and in that time I’ve learned to appreciate a whole bunch of different things than I thought I would appreciate. This is that list.
Expected a whole bunch of normal. I think we’re trained to understand that there will be hard days and fantastic days, but normal? That’s what most of life it – get up, get the kids ready, do the laundry, take out the trash, help with homework, make dinner, get them ready for bed, and start over again and again and again. Somehow the normal can feel like drudgery until we remember that it’s simply normal. And normal is truly the beautiful.
[Tweet “Don’t wait for tomorrow to start living today.”]
What’s it about? Those fun things that really matter. Again, it’s the little things often that make the biggest impact in our children’s lives.
Rocking them to sleep. Holding their hand. Giving them a kiss. I love them. Even after those days where they drive me a bit crazy and I wonder what in the world I’m doing. Those little acts of love are important life acts of love.
[Tweet “Motherhood is learning to savor the moments that we’re blessed to share. “]
What’s it about? Think of it as a happy mom manifesto, in a way.
I will not let mom guilt bug me at all, in fact. Going back to that mom guilt thing. It’s way way way too easy to feel guilty and to think that we’re not measuring up. Nope. Not anymore. Mom guilt? We’re kicking it to the curb.
[Tweet ” There is no perfect mom in this world of utopian ideals. There is real. “]
What’s it about? I wrote this in the initial days of my single mom journey. It was words about strength and how sometimes we don’t see that strength but it’s still there.
You are strong.
Don’t listen to the doubts. To the voices telling you that you don’t measure up, that you don’t matter, that nothing will ever change, that what you’re doing day after day after day won’t make a difference. Those aren’t truth statements – they are subtle fallacies that keep you and me stuck and not seeing the amazing tenacity tucked within.
[Tweet ” Strength isn’t found in perfection. It is found in the moments, the minutes and the seconds.]
What’s it about? I think the title states it perfectly, actually. It are the nuances that I learned in being a single mom and what I didn’t see until I walked this journey.
10. Life can be great. That’s what I tell myself. And your single mom friend needs to believe that as well. Life can be good even if it’s not perfect. Be the friend that’s there for them. They’ll get used to their new routine, will find normal and will regain that balance. It just takes time. The biggest gift you can give them is that gift of time, not judging and simply being a friend. They value you greatly. I know I value my friends so much – the ones that have stuck with me and given me grace. Oh my goodness, I know that I haven’t been the best friend during this season, but I do try and love my friends for loving me.
[Tweet “Here’s the bottom line truth: friendships matter. Greatly. “]
What’s it about? I think this post sums up the year perfectly. I just wrote it in December, in fact, and it’s made the top ten for the year – which tells me it’s about the pulse of our journey right now. Read these words as that is what I want you to remember.
So before you close this browser and move on with your life I want you to take a breath, to look at the hands in front of you and when you see them to be overwhelmed with wonder for all that you do. Those hands love. They button coats. They give. They wipe away tears. They write notes. They type responses. They hold hands in them until those hands grow. They mother.
Carry on. You are brave even when you feel small.
Thank you for showing up.
[Tweet “A mom that shows up is an extraordinary person. “]
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So friends, once again thank you.
Thank you for giving and loving and caring and sharing.
~Rachel
2 comments
I love your post they are always so touching and real .
Thank you and Happy & Joyfull New Year
Wow, in reading your posts i can relate completely, I have been raising 7 children. 6 boys & 1 girl. This Christmas was by far the worst for me. I didn’t get the tree up, however, I did manage to put up the Nativity set & make the food & buy 2 gifts. The rest was givin as money. The kids were fine with it, but that actually made me feel worse. I too am a single mom for the last 10 yrs. I also have fybromyalgia. I have moved twice in the past yr. 3 yrs ago I had to just sleep for 2 wks. Then 2 more wks of just cleaning my house & organizing stuff. Things were better for a while, but I’m back to that point again. It scares me that I can’t do what I used to do. It often seems hopeless, as if, like Christmas, no one really cares. Time to give myself permission to take care of me again.