Sometimes I want to look at the kitchen at night and think oh well, it can just be and go to bed without thinking about the fact that I didn’t clean the kitchen or that I should be cleaning the kitchen or how horrible it will be in the morning.
Well, that and the fact that maybe I didn’t do the laundry and I didn’t get everything done off of my Encyclopedia Britannica dictionary again. (For those of you who are younger than my almost 40 years old that’s like Google in a book – that’s what I tell me kids.) I think my to-do list has items rolled over on it from 2013. I’m sure laundry has never been crossed off completely nor ever will.
But truthfully sometimes I just want to be the lazy mom.
(Whispering) Is that bad?
I don’t think so.
(just not if it’s all the time)
Our world is bursting with never ending items to be checked off, messaged, cleaned, back dated, finished, caught up, pressed, washed, swept, vacuumed, homeworked (another made up word), called, washed, wiped, and so forth. And as moms we can work and work and work and work. Now work isn’t bad. But work is really really bad if we forget that sometimes it is okay to be lazy.
(I secretly think that lazy has gotten a super bad rap.)
Now listen, to set the record completely straight, I’m not talking about the kind of lazy that gets you a show on TLC. I’m talking about giving yourself the permission, yes the permission, to take a night off or a weekend off or a day off without piling on the guilt on yourself because you took time for you. You know, we could work and try to achieve every single waking moment of our existence. There is a never ending ladder to the clouds of awesomeness that we could attempt to attain.
But what’s the good of that if we forget us in the midst? Or you and I burn out?
In the right context, lazy isn’t bad.
If it was that lazy meant we never cleaned and the cobwebs took over the corners and the wash was never done and we needed the clutter cleaning show to come rescue our house and we decided to never cook a meal or wash our hair or try to live each day intentionally, well, that’s not right either. This is the kind of decision – this idea of lazy – that you and I make to take a breath in the busy.
And a breath, listen, without the nagging guilt of not completing everything.
What if in that moment you laughed with your kids again?
What if you gained back 90 minutes of the 928hours that you are sleep deprived?
What if you gained fresh perspective?
What if you did something you loved again?
Keeping up with the keeping up can be exhausting which can lead to exhaustion which can lead to burnout and then us moms going why am I so tired? and who am I? Yes, yes, the who am I statement of motherhood. I’ve muttered that, thought that, said that, cried about that, and work through that. Even now.
So know that it’s not lazy when you decide to chill for a bit sometimes. It’s not lazy if you say no to an extracurricular because you want to have some meals at home. It’s not lazy if you let those dishes sit on the counter (or, if you need them put away you just deal with that and decide to not work after they’re done and still chill out) until the morning.
There’s a reason there are songs about summer and the lazy, hazy days. Not because they’re bad, but rather because I believe in those moments we can recharge. If you and I give give give give give then you could end up like me yesterday – complaining about a person five cars ahead of me in the school line that didn’t move up a car and half length and thus kept me trapped in the turn lane with my left blinker on. Yep. Super quickly I found myself exasperated over a rather minor and little thing that in the state of my non giving of myself lazy moments in life become a straw in the sea of minor things that made me frustrated because it meant, horrors, that for a second I had to wait.
So let yourself have lazy in your life. Not as a life posture but as a place to breathe and recharge and give back to you and your family. The surprising thing about taking care of you, dear mom, is that you are thus taking care of those that you love. Perspective can be lost if we’re on empty.
Take it from me the gal that was caught grumbling on the phone to her business partner about a car 30 feet too far back until he said really? that’s the problem right now? why does that bother you? He was right. Not a problem. Just a variable in an over scheduled, not giving myself that much grace to kick my feet up and be just a bit still for a bit life.
There is no guilt in moments of rest.
There is no guilt in deciding to watch the sunset and just let the worries go for a bit.
Because chances are that if you decide to watch that sunset or throw the marshmallows with your kids or take that walk or sleep in late on a Saturday or have coffee with a friend or have a movie marathon on a Sunday afternoon that those are the memories that you will share with me and your friends in the years to come.
I don’t want to be telling tales about how everything was frustrating or I was overworked or all of that.
So today? Today I am giving you permission to be just a bit lazy.
Not all the time.
who will be watching Modern Family on Hulu Plus tonight and not feeling guilty while eating extra creamy Rocky Road ice cream.