somedays you just need to call it a day

I had this post I was going to share with you today called dear tired mom. I wrote it Monday morning, at the quiet coffee shop, while I was sitting there thinking about life and sipping my latte. I’m still going to share it with you, but not today. Instead, today, due to the rest of yesterday, I’m writing to you about those days where you as a mom simply need to call it. You know, make a decision, and stop what you’re doing, and throw out your agenda.

Yesterday, after the coffee shop, was one of those days.

It started when Chloe and I returned from ballet — everyone’s moods seemed a bit tense. Off, perhaps. I kept plugging away, asking them to come, telling everyone to not yell, stopping some fights, cleaning up, stopping quarrels again, searching for an eight-year old who disappeared to his room when he should have been doing math, dealing with a six year-old who must have woken up deciding that today was the day where he bugs everyone, and so on and on. And on. And, well you guessed it, on.

You’ve had those days, right? And if not, just nod so that I feel less alone.

Finally, at around 3:30 my options were dwindling. Most of my kids had only done a fraction of what they needed to do {love having my olders — they are pretty self-motivated} and trying to get them to write something down was proving to be a challenge. I pulled out the book Ferdinand and started reading. Normally, this helps break the cycle and I thought for a moment perhaps we were moving out.

Then I tried to get them to do their work again.

And we were back where we started.

I stood at the counter prepping dinner listening to the chaos of noises around while my blood pressure rose. I could feel it. Patience? I didn’t even see enough options in my brain to pray for it then. I did pray for wisdom, and in that moment I felt peace that it was okay to be done for the day.

So I called it a day.

I turned around and looked at the table overflowing with paper, cuisenaire rods, pencils, cups, cars, legos, math books, markers and more and I told everyone to clean up. We were done. I wasn’t going to continue to force my agenda onto the day. It was getting close to 3pm, and seriously, what did I think we would accomplish? Honestly, I should have called it hours earlier, but I just kept trying.

It takes confidence to call a day and stop the current schedule. I’ve had to do it at 9am — those are the days where I feel the anxiety even before we begin and we’ll watch documentaries, take a walk, or just read — and today I needed to reclaim a day that just wasn’t going to go according to schedule. I should have listened, I should have decided at noon that we were going to shift things around.

But, I’m stubborn. And I wanted all those boxes checked on my planner. Every single one.

My driving perfectionist self was pushing everyone to finish, to hurry up, and my own lack of patience trickled down into the home’s mood — until I relented and released my agenda.

After that? My home became quiet.  Hannah still worked away, Caleb went off and read, Brennan played with Elijah, Gracie worked on crafts, and Chloe prepped for ballet {she teaches twice on Monday}.  My home? Content. Here’s the deal — it’s not failing to call a day and switch the plans sometimes. In fact, it’s actually wise. That list of stuff that we should get done by the end of the year will get done. But, if I force it when I need to back off it will still get done –slower and everyone will be miserable. Including me. I’ve lost the heart and am just pushing agenda.

So Monday, we were done without all the boxes checked, but a sense of peace in our home.

And that, my friends, was the more important.