the return of motherhood glam

by Rachel Marie Martin

By three o’clock on Monday I was exhausted. Physically exhausted, yes, but more than that mentally exhausted. My kitchen was a mess. There was paper all over the floor. The pens, pencils, and markers that I had spent fifteen minutes sorting were now spilled all over the table.  We were late for leaving for ballet. My hair was thrown in a sloppy ponytail, and I had food wiped on my sleeve. Everyone was hungry, and there was no “good” snacks in the house. I hadn’t thought of dinner. Not yet. And homeschooling? We just got through reading.

Not glamorous. Not at all.

Instead, I felt so deflated. Frustrated. Here I return from the Blissdom conference with intense energy, renewed vision, and excitement only to be greeted with motherhood full-on. If I was playing basketball again it would be a full court press where you have to work to just get through.
Being a mom takes work. Hard, demanding, life-giving, never seeming to end work. That work? It can zap the life out of you. If you let it.

You see, I walked back into my life expecting things to just fall into place. It would stay clean, and the laundry would be done, and I could keep on top of everything. But that’s not life. That’s not real. In fact, that’s an illusion, that if allowed, can suck the joy right out of being a mother. Maybe there’s not the glamour, the glitter, and the cheers that one finds elsewhere, but motherhood has something even more valuable.
Being a mother means nurturing a life. Being there when they hurt, or are worried, or are celebrating, or need a friend, or direction, or a shoulder. And that should never be overlooked. Ever.
It doesn’t really matter in the long run that those pencils were messed up. Or that dinner wasn’t amazing. Or that we only got through reading. What matters? Is me, being a mom, being aware and celebrating the life in my kids that I’m blessed to share.

That’s the best kind of glamour. The mother.
She gives it all. Lives. Breathes. Doesn’t rest, or at least rarely. Cooks. Cleans. Reads. Prays. Laughs. Mops. Folds. Drives. Listens. Loves. Cries. Sweeps. Gardens. Helps. Worries. Rejoices. Rocks. Sorts. Waits. Hopes. Bakes. Aches. Gives. Gives. GIVES. 
Celebrate today. That’s what I had to do. I took the good, the excitement of learning at Blissdom and channeled it into being a better wife, a better friend, a better blogger, and really a better mom. 
I celebrate the pony-tail, shirt with a stain, and jeans of today. 
And that? That’s real life. 
It’s being a mom.

Celebrate that. It is an unbelievably easy role to overlook.
I am a mom. 
And for that glam of motherhood I rejoice.

And so should you.

You may also like

23 comments

Whit February 28, 2012 - 2:22 pm

Oh Rachel, every time I read one of your posts, it’s just what I need to hear that day. You so beautifully express writtwn words. Thanks for sharing what was on your heart. It sounds like you had a wonderful time at Blissdom, and are managing returning home quite well. Have a great week, blessings 🙂

Reply
Calie (Broccoli Cupcake) February 28, 2012 - 2:41 pm

Hi Rachel – It was so great to meet you at Blissdom. I loved this post. I felt exactly the same way coming home. Sunday was a relaxing family day, but Monday came at us full force. Thanks for the sweet reminder that I’m not alone and that it’s all just part of the beautiful and crazy journey of motherhood.

Reply
truth in weakness February 28, 2012 - 2:55 pm

oh ENCORE, my friend!

i, too, have found that when i offer sacrificial love {true, demanding, grueling sacrificial love}, i am left with more, not less.

more joy. more beauty. more life. more of Him. {and less of me.}

celebrating with you the gift of giving of ourselves to these precious souls,
tanya

Reply
CALLIE February 28, 2012 - 2:55 pm

Perfect post!! Loved every bit of it. Mother’s really are superheros!

Reply
Lesley @ the floyd boys February 28, 2012 - 3:06 pm

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I needed this today 🙂

Reply
Paula February 28, 2012 - 3:08 pm

I always feel so overwhelmed when I return home from a trip. I’m glad I’m not the only one. Thanks for sharing your positive outlook. That is something I need to work on.

Reply
Shell February 28, 2012 - 3:21 pm

Love this.

I’m out of my sparkles and back into my yoga pants.

No more being pampered, it’s back to cleaning up and taking care of it all.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Reply
ShannonK February 28, 2012 - 3:40 pm

AMEN! So well said. A mama of just 4 months, I’m reminded daily that it’s about giving, it’s about being there for whatever reason they need. Cuddles, feeding, playing… it doesn’t matter! Just gotta be there! And it produces more than glitz and glamour!

Reply
Leslie February 28, 2012 - 3:54 pm

Amen! I just wish that my “jeans of today” were a few sizes smaller. For realz.

Reply
Jennifer February 28, 2012 - 3:54 pm

Thank you for this beautiful reminder of what is truly important!

This was just lovely 🙂

Reply
Missi February 28, 2012 - 5:00 pm

Yesterday, while doing chores, my five year old said, “I wish it would just STAY clean.” lol! Thank you, from one exhausted mamma

Reply
Krista February 28, 2012 - 6:18 pm

Thanks for the reminder not to overlook the importance of all we do. We may be exhausted but it means the world to those dear little ones 🙂

Reply
April February 28, 2012 - 6:59 pm

So true! We took a school break yesterday. Still haven’t made it to the store. But, I am caught up on hugs, kisses, snuggles, and lots of story time!

Reply
carissa at lowercase letters February 28, 2012 - 7:21 pm

amen! there’s actually beauty in changing diapers. : )

Reply
MomLaur February 28, 2012 - 7:41 pm

Amazing stuff, as always! I just tweeted my frustration about how sometimes stuff that I try to teach and show my children seems to fall into a black hole…then read this. I went from totally discouraged, to encouraged with a new fervor! Thank you!

Reply
Simone February 28, 2012 - 10:20 pm

It’s all in finding your mommy groove once again. Also, throw the perfection or expectations of each day out the window and embrace the adventures that make up who you are. Take it from a former homeschooling mom, some days, reading was the only subject my daughters got through as well but I knew that we had accomplished a great day of learning. Hang in there!

Reply
Coby February 28, 2012 - 10:23 pm

And…AMEN! I had a similar thought today – I got only one load of laundry done, and I dusted. Other than that, my house is a mess. BUT! I read, rocked, read some more, played music, fed, fed again, and again, built with blocks, nurtured…I was a mom. I’m exhausted, but it was energy well spent. And the day isn’t over yet!

Reply
Tracy February 28, 2012 - 10:59 pm

Amen. I look at how beautifully dressed my girls’ violin teacher is every Saturday and wonder what my life would be if I had stayed with a career in music and refrained from having children. The reality is, she probably envies me! Next Saturday I will wear my badges of honor (stained shirt, stretched belly, sloppy hair) with pride!

Reply
Lea also known as "CiCi" February 29, 2012 - 2:28 am

I’m long past those days but this post was still a blessing to me. Motherhood is such a tough job but such a rewarding job and I’m enjoying some of those rewards now as I watch my two parent their own. Hugs!

Reply
Ashleigh February 29, 2012 - 3:01 am

Oh THANK GOODNESS! I thought you were going to tell me that just because I’m a Mom, I don’t have to LOOK like a Mom! This was much better to hear! Bless you!

Reply
Adeline February 29, 2012 - 6:10 am

Beautiful.well written.That’s just the way it is!

Reply
Lynn February 29, 2012 - 8:09 am

I’m here praying right now.
Psalms 116:1-5 I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

Reply
Bekki July 21, 2012 - 3:47 pm

I have been so blessed to stumble upon your blog today. I remember those years like they were yesterday. The mess, laundry, etc, while important on some days, are not eternal issues. If we have to choose between grumbling through chores or laughing while we play hide and seek in piles of laundry… Let us choose hide and seek!!
My kids now range from 6 to 19. They now help with all the household tasks…
You have chosen wisely to embrace the messy ponytail and kid covered Tshirts! Your little ones grow up in a blink:).
May our children remember their childhood marked with love, laughter, and joy rather than dishes, feasts, and a dustless home!

Reply

Leave a Comment