Gracie came to me this morning carrying two hair binders and asked if I’d braid her hair. As she sat in front of me — with her bright orange tee shirt and equally bright lime green capris — I began to wonder about those last times.
As my fingers grabbed strand after strand of her long hair I could feel the bitersweet nostalgia that parenting brings along with it. I looked at Hannah — typing away in the kitchen — and wondered about the last times I had with her. That I probably didn’t even remember.
I kept braiding. Over and under and over and under and over and in that repetitive pattern I began to realize that life is full of these last time moments. They’re everywhere. The last time we go to that store or drive that road or live in this home or go to that church or finish third grade or have a high chair in the kitchen or my baby will eat gluten or have toddlers in the home or have little toy trains to clean up or be able to give that person a hug.
On one hand I’m thankful that I don’t know all the time that this is the last time for that event. I don’t think my heart could constantly deal with knowing it was the last. And yet, I wonder about those moments — if I knew that it was really ending. That time was changing. That my kids were growing. That it was the last time.
I want to live each day awake. Aware that at any moment it could be the last time.
When Samuel brings me that baby board book with the lift-the-flap puppy picture and wants to sit on my lap and read it for the 15th time today I want to say yes. To simply enjoy him. Patting my arm. Hearing him telling me – puppy. Nestling into me.
Someday, it will be the last time.
And I want to remember.
Cling to them…they are priceless!!
Oh girl, have you spoken exactly what my heart is feeling! These times are so fast and fleeting and I wonder if I will remember them or soak up every bit of them. As I type, I am listening to the giggles of my two on the stairs making their way to me…when will it be the last time? I honestly don’t even want to think about it…so I’m just sitting here listening.
This has been on my mind as well. I pass through daily life without noticing… and then all of a sudden, I realize. I realize it’s been months since we’ve done this, or that… and I wonder how quickly I forget all of the details.
Remember those open mouthed slobbery kisses that babies give you? I miss those.
When I had Evan, I knew he would be my last baby, so every night when I rocked him to sleep, I made a concious, concerted effort to be present and enjoy each momement, because I knew it was “one less” time that I would get to rock my baby. Thos e memeories are sweet but so sad too because they are gone and I miss them.
How sweet! I had to laugh a bit as I was thinking to myself, ‘I will probably never have those lasts’ due to grandchildren coming already and we still have our sweet little newborn!! Well she’s 4 months old, still new to me 🙂
Braiding hair is a daily event here and thankfully all our girls, with the exception of our 4 month old dtr, can brush their own hair 🙂
Enjoy your moments, they are precious!
p.s I forgot to tell you in your last post, I love that you are so normal and use paper plates 🙂
Our oldest GRANDson is Samuel…love that name. Your children are are cuties….with a beautiful Momma!!! HOPE you have a blessed weekend!
enjoy every minute. they grow too fast. it’s hardly fair.
Gee you’re going to make me cry and I’m at work! I’ve been thinking similar things with my little one lately. We’ll be starting potty training soon and it just seems like all the sudden he is outgrowing lots of things. Just makes me want to snuggle and hold him all day while he still lets me 🙂
precious precious precious. I posted today about making the memories that last with our littles…so i hear ya. so important to find joy because we DONT know when it might be the last. thanks for sharing…love your blog!
Beautiful, beautiful post!!! And I, like you, think it’s merciful we usually don’t know it’s the last time!
(Popping over from the wiegands!)
I blog about things like this all the time! So touching! Mine are 13, 15, and 17 (senior this coming year!) Full of last times. I have to believe that in my next phase of life, God will give me a wonderful new song to take the place of the beautiful old one. If you have time, look at mine-especially May 13, 2011. 5minutesforthefrazzledmom.blogspot.com
and now…I’m crying! xoxo
Yes, so true. I often think about that too. Our oldest has started putting himself to bed. I don’t even know when it happened, but it seemed to happen over night. So sad. It makes me want to treasure the moments I have with my smaller two even more.
what a sweet beautiful post! found you through teachable moments blog. And now you’re going on my blog list because anyone who can make me cry deserves to be read daily. 🙂 Thank you for the perspective and the simple beautiful reminder. 🙂
know that these last times lead to more first times…let them go….be happy when they fly,knowing you helped give them their wings because you mothered with awareness :)love
Loved this! My 10 mo old is our last one and so I’m dealing with lots of this same thing. Bittersweet. Also, Karen Kingsbury wrote a children’s book about this very topic. It’s a great one. Here’s a link to it….. http://www.amazon.com/Let-Me-Hold-You-Longer/dp/1414300557
Thanks for this reminder….my twins are 2.5 and driving me a bit batty most days and this is a good reminder to just stop and embrace these little things that may soon be memories.