“i’m just not enough”

…for who?

^^^^^^This is what I want to pound in my brain.^^^^^^^

This is what I want to remember when I go to bed at night and I talk with my friends and I list every single place where I feel like I have failed. I will list the projects that I’m behind in and the leaves that still need to be tended to. I’ll talk about how I didn’t read enough books or that the boys room was a mess again and we had just cleaned it. I will feel that regret when I realize that I answered way too short to simple, and yet repetitive questions simply because I was tired.

This is what I want to remember when the tears of the weight of mothering tumble down my weary trying so very hard every single day cheeks.

These two words.

For who?

Motherhood isn’t a race to be the best.

Motherhood isn’t a competition between you and me and the moms at Target and the moms at work and the ideal moms on Pinterest or Facebook’s highlight reel.

Motherhood isn’t about that.

It’s simple, but often forgotten and buried in a world of expectations, really.

Love your kids.

Give of yourself.

Try try try.

Stand up when you fall.

And start again.

Not all of the extra stuff that weighs us. Not worrying if the snack we brought to soccer because it was our turn is cool enough. Not worrying that our kids are behind because another friend’s child is reading chapter books and we’re still on the sight word “the” (trust me – they figure it out eventually). Not comparing our lives with others and feeling like we don’t measure up.

We will have moments like in that clip. Trust me.

You’ll have times where you sit on the front step or in the bathroom behind the door or in your car and you will simply feel like you are not enough.

You are the toughest judge of you.

You are.

So mom, learn to love you. Learn to see all the amazing things that you do.

At the end of the clip he said about words (watch it again – and holy moly – it’s awesome filled with words that will bless many) that she was the perfect mom for her kids. Do you ever think about that? I know you are that for your kids.  I know, I know, I know. You can probably sit there and list every place where you think you’re falling short. You can list the things you wanted to do or how you messed up here or how you were short with them. I know, because I can do the same.

But listen.

If you look very closely you might be surprised at just how many ways you are exactly perfect for your family. In fact, maybe you just need to see it today and remember that truth.

You are exactly the mom they need.

You know just what to say when they have a bad dream. Your arms are the ones they want after a nap. You’re the one that sits at the table and works and works and works with them on homework and tells them how awesome they are when they finally remember 7×6. You fold those socks that never match and wash their clothes and know how to determine if it’s clean or dirty without doing the sniff test. You tear up with pride as you watch them dribble a basketball. You help them memorize song lyrics. Your hand is holding theirs as you cross the street. You’re the person on the cellphone with the word  Mom as the contact name.

Mom.

Not mess up, not enough, not doing enough. But mom.

See that today.

Mom. You are mom enough.

For you.

~Rachel
(“I’m just not enough… for who?” quote from Moms Night Out)