There isn’t a world’s best mom award out there.
There isn’t a pinterest perfect mom who finishes every single pin that she’s got on her boards. There isn’t a medal for being the skinniest, craftiest, or funniest. There isn’t this Utopian ideal mom award for the mom who is always clever, witty, and dressed in fashionable layers of clothing with the perfect skinny jeans. There isn’t an ultimate mothering magazine mom.
The only world’s best mom award goes to you.
Yes, you.
You see, you are absolutely the world’s best mom for your family today. Even though sometimes you mess up, or don’t believe that it is true, or you want a new start. You have that.
You have today.
Yet, it’s easy to sit in thinking that you don’t measure up. I know.
Oh my goodness I know.
Because, once again, when I share my heart with you, I’m sharing struggles that I have as well. Sometimes I will go to bed at night and look at my day and think that I messed up again. I’ll see the dishes still waiting for me to wash, the craft projects that are untouched, and I’ll remember every place that I think I failed. But, just like I wrote back in August, there really isn’t failing when one is trying.
There is this hypothetical measuring up ladder of motherhood that looms over us as moms. We really don’t ever seem to get a break. We’re being shouted at that we need to do this-make that-wear this and have every single thing in order. All the time.
It’s exhausting.
And it leads to often this ideal of motherhood that makes us want to put our head  in our hands and to scream I give up – I’ll never measure up.
One day we’re to be doing this and the very next morning we shouldn’t have been doing that. Don’t use those bottles. Use these. Don’t drive this way. Wear these clothes. Teach your child to read by age two {that was seriously out there when my oldest was young}. Keep a stunning and well organized pinterest board. Only cook organic. Shop two times a month. Wash your clothes with homemade soap. Make your living room like a page from Pottery Barn. Have someone help you clean your house. Get this car seat. Never get fast food. Make homemade playdough. Â Do this. More more more and more.
Enough.
You know what I want to tell you?
Don’t think about measuring up.
Think about being the best mom that you can be right now today for your family.
Give yourself grace in the morning. Learn from the past. Don’t label yourself. Â Do one thing and do it well.
Just keep trying.
You know what you need to do?
Love your kids. Do your best. Apologize for mistakes. Learn from others. Constantly strive to be better.
But in that understand that we are real.
Moms, the more real we are with each other, the healthier we can become. Let’s be real. Let’s help each other. Let’s be there for each. Let’s stop trying to impress each other with the facade of having everything perfect and instead let’s really be there as friends. Loving when we have a hard day. Cheering for each other for a good day. Not comparing, but rather celebrating each other.
We need more real.
Think about this before you think about measuring up — moms are amazing. You are amazing. You cook, clean, pray, vacuum, fold, wash, help with homework, make meals, clean meals, sing songs, teach prayers, count to ten thirty-four times a day, let your littles grow and leave the nest, wonder, worry, diagnosis, lose sleep, get up at dawn, and go to bed after the sun has set. This is amazing.
That’s the ruler.
Now, brush yourself off, put the ruler away, and be amazing.
Because that is exactly what you already are.
~Rachel
click dear mom letters to read more encouraging letters for moms
43 comments
You always seem to post wonderful things like this right when I need them. Thank you.
Thank you, Dana.
As always, this is RIGHT on! Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement. The reality is – we all need each other. We are ONE body with many members – no ONE person can do it all without help 🙂 Off to share!
Another wonderful message! You speak right to my heart, Rachel. Thank you!
This is great- and I know that we all do it to ourselves. 🙂 Definitely pinning and sharing on my C&C FB page!
I love your blog and will be sharing the link (again) on fb. You have helped me retain focus on life and I hope even one person finds that in your words also when I share.
So true and very much needed to hear that!! Thanks!! 🙂
I cannot thank you enough for your blog! It has made a huge difference to me. I am the mom of 3 boys, one with Autism, one with an immune disorder, and one in the middle of diagnosis. My Husband is wonderful, he works hard for us, but I often feel as if I am not doing enough or even failing my family and their needs. Your blog makes me know I am not alone in my feelings and helps me to let go of the negative and get back up, brush myself off and move forward to the be the best me I can be. I thought you should know, what you write and put out there is impacting lives in the best of ways. I cannot thank you enough.
Another great message! I really needed to hear this today. I am so thankful for you and what you do and share with the world. Thank you!
Thank you so much for all your writing – it’s like you live in my head and my heart, and know just what I need to hear! Thanks for sharing what is truly a gift – and sharing your adventures and beautiful family with the world. God bless you all!
I needed that today. Thanks.
Thank you! Great Monday ‘go-get-em’ post!
Thank you! I wish there were more people like you. I regained joy in motherhood once again. You know, I was watching my picture perfect neighbor mom today as she stood in the kitchen for 4 (!) hours to prepare awesome birthday cakes for her 1 year old birthday boy while her children (including the birthday boy) were in daycare till late afternoon. Oh how I found joy to “just” spend the days with my little wonders today. One day they won’t remember what their cake looked like but how we laughed together. Keep it up!
This comment has been removed by the author.
That was just what I needed. Thank you so much. I am going to link to this post on my blog.
Rachel, I truly enjoy sitting down at my dining room table every morning, coffee mug in hand, little one in school … as I visit your latest blog post. It always brings such encouragement and smiles. Thank you for that 🙂
Oh, Honey… yes, yes, and yes! This is SO me. I hate to admit that there haven’t been many days where I felt like I have done it right, been a good mom, or been a good wife. I carry that evil ruler around in my back pocket and pull it out numerous times a day. My girls are almost grown now (17 & 18) and I don’t think it has ever gotten easier. When my oldest was getting ready to go off to college this fall, I cried and cried. Of course, most of that was because I couldn’t imagine life without her but the other reason was because of all the ways I felt like I had failed her. It’s such a nasty trap!
I appreciate the encouragement you give and the honesty you share! It is much needed!
We do need more real. You are so right in saying the more real we are with each other the healthier we are. I chose to be real on my blog today as well — posting pictures of unfinished projects in which my house is an absolute disaster! Thank you for the reassurance this was a good idea :-D. Also, for us to quit measuring ourselves against an invisible, unrealistic ruler. Thank you for your words of encouragement and sharing.
I had such a tough day yesterday and keep playing it over in my mind. This came at the perfect moment for me. Thanks for the encouragement!
Thank you…a great pick me up for a chaotic Monday morning.
I love your dear mom letters. I often feel like a failure, like I’m doing something wrong. Even though I tell myself that I’m not or that I’m not in a race, or that I’m not losing it is nice to hear it from you, another mom. Thank you
I want to post this on every wall for all the mothers of the world to see 🙂
I’m a new follower, new blogger, and a new mommy and this post is beautiful! It’s so nice to read something so uplifting. Thank you for this!
Wow. I agree with Margaret, I wish every mother could read this. Often times I go to bed and the only thing on my mind is how I’ve failed that day. What I “should” have accomplished. I need to read this several more times and make peace with the fact that I do measure up in the love that I have for my daughter. Thanks again for another great read 🙂
I like your blog and I am a mom with kids with problems, and I enjoy your post. I am more self-confident after reading your blog post.
So beautiful. So perfect to read each and every day!
As a single mom of a child with autism, I feel like I don’t measure up on an hourly basis. Add to Thea mix an ex husband who thinks he knows all and doesn’t hesitate to criticize my every action with our son and my self esteem can take a serious a%# kicking most days. Thanks for putting things in perspective 🙂
The problem is to be real without being judged or feeling judged. i feel judged and am constantly looking for approval. I am not a single mom but my husband is gone a lot and leave me doing everything. when I feel like i am failing ot o yelled too much or forgot to feed the dog etc.. I read your blog posts…I use some excerts as my mantra and try to focus on the positive which…sometimes is very very hard to do. thank you from the bottom of my 3 hearts. you remind me to be better and to cherish every minute of it.
Your posts have really spoken to my overwhelmed mama heart lately. Thank you so much for being real, for being messy and for not being put together. I love the real, but too often measure myself by what I’m not doing instead of what I actually am doing. It feels like such a competition sometimes.
such an important message. Moms do the best they can. We so need to be encouraged, and this post is very positive. Thank you!
Thank you for the encouragement!!!!! You are amazing too!
Thank you!
Wow- so TRULY encouraging. I’ve read so many blogs that attempt what you just said, but in the end I feel the same or worse after reading a fairy-tale-meant-to-be-real-life. Such a breath of fresh air. I will keep reading!! <3
Am thinking back to a time when I’d check a certain Caringbridge site to see how Todd was doing. Look how far you’ve come! Look at how many people you help on so many different levels! I’m so blessed to have known you for so long and just see you blossom! Who would have thought! Oh how the Lord’s working!
Lifting up prayers!
Psalms 145:14-18 The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down. The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.
My email address
thank you! So encouraging. As always. 😉
bless you~~
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart thank you.
i hold on to these words like a lifeboat in my weaker moments of not feeling good enough…
This just made my day. Thank you 🙂
This works for Grandmothers too!!
I would like to know how to overcome the guilt I feel because my grown daughter with three girls of her own is seeking a divorce. Her husband is a wonderful man and a super Father. I feel it is due to something I failed to teach her. I realize we cannot control what our adult children do, but I can’t help feeling that I failed at something. Do you have any words to help me feel less guilty?
I have been struggling with just that question the last week or so…Am I worthy to be a Mom? Do I have what it takes? Can I succeed at this?
You have restored faith in myself after reading this. Your blog has shined light on so many troubles I face as a mother.
From my heart to yours, thank you.
New to your blog just today and I am enjoying your letters to moms. I’m going through a really difficult time right now, and reading these have been so helpful for me. Thank you.
Absolutely thankful for a post such as this! I’m only 8 months in to this new mom thing and this encouragement is just what I needed!!! So motivational…sharing this post everywhere I can. Thanks again and again!!!