I just told him in a minute.
It was this book, an old Arthur book from my older daughters, and he wanted me to read it to him. Caleb had asked twice already during the day and again last night right when I was making dinner. But, I was truly busy – I had ballet schedules to keep, dinner to make, a board meeting to attend, a review to write, and an email to respond to that was supposed to have been done yesterday.
In a minute, Caleb.
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I kept moving.
Finishing all I needed to do. The book? It just sat there on the old plaid couch next to the leaf pillow on a stack of books that were waiting to be read. It sat there till the next morning, this morning, when I sat down with a piping hot mug of coffee and my netbook and a quiet house with which to work. I looked over at the book, the well-worn and read book, and thought of that six year old sleeping upstairs waiting for the in a minute minute to come.
The minute never came yesterday.
I know you are busy – because oh my goodness I am so busy all the time. I get that frenzied and unending pace of things to do. We’re constantly pushed to do more, create more, cook more, bake more, decorate more, teach more, organize more, garden more, host more, volunteer more, drive more, excel more, and ultimately to compare more. Us moms will see that massive to-do list, the never ending tasks, the schedule that is bursting without the empty days, the laundry spilling into the hallway, and the toys dumped out. No wonder we say in a minute.
For me it means stopping.
It means stepping off of the frenzied to-do list of today and sitting. It means hanging up the phone or closing the laptop and choosing to get down on their level, whatever level it may be, and looking them in the eye and listening to the questions that so often get the quick in a minute answers. Not the kind of listen that my kids have dealt with, you know, the mom, mom, mom, Mom cry where they’re trying to get the distracted me to pay attention and listen.
It’s hard. Often being a mother feels like living in a gigantic game of catch up. You’ll get everything just so, just perfect, and then well, then someone puts socks in the laundry hamper, or the milk spills, or the phone rings, or the timer on the oven buzzes. Real stuff. Keeping us busy. All the time.
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Don’t let life, don’t let the crazy pace of life, the unending cycle of busy rob you from the minutes with your family. Don’t let the books that they want to read stay on the couch for days until the day when that old Arthur book never leaves the shelf because the six year old has grown and lost interest in the story.
Just watch the in a minutes. Or the just a seconds, waits, hold ons, and more.
Does it mean never using those phrases? Absolutely not. I mean seriously, if you’re changing a diaper and your four year old wants to go outside and the six year old is asking for paints and the eight year old wants to go on a bike ride there is no way you can do that right at that second. However, we can give an intentional, a really listening answer – we can bike this afternoon, we will go outside after lunch, we can’t do that today. Â It’s the real answer that matters {and sometimes it means saying no}. It’s not about dropping everything all the time, although some of the time we simply do need to let our agenda go, Â instead it’s about watching the answers so that the real importants don’t get left sitting on a couch for days.
It’s progress. Not perfection.
Now, today, I’m reminding you, the in a minute mom, to remember those words of truth. Just keep trying, just keep watching those in a minutes – it’s the being aware and watching the answers and working to do those in a minute things matters
You really are doing a great job.
It’s progress. Just pick up the book and read it now.
That’s what I did.
~Rachel
33 comments
Beautifully stated, Rachel…so convicting.
As usual, Rachel you have made me wish you were around when I had Littles. Sharing with shook those who do….a gift to them.
Thank you for the reminder that we all need. Have a happy day.
i absolutely needed this today.
what a blessing!
xo
thank you.
You always know just what I need to hear. Thank you!
I say that way to often. Thank you for your reminder and encouragement.
I think I say IN A MINUTE about a zillion times a day! Seriously though I am trying to make them the truth and follow through actually doing that in a minute. It’s tough but I will keep trying 🙂
Happy mid-week Rachel!
I have been convicted of this exact issue lately – I find myself saying “just a minute, love” a lot to my girls. Sometimes it is justified…but others, not so much.
I have tried to stop what I am doing from time to time and pay attention…but as you said it is a process!
once again, i’m so thankful for your reminders. i’ve been convicted of this lately, and needed this little post to remind me to stop and read or play trains or put a puzzle together.
thanks.
Mmmm. I needed that reminder. Thanks. 🙂 Blessings!
Amen sister! You never know what special gift God has in store when you take time to Be The Mom! Teenagers who say “later mom” on the way out the door learn that. Big Hugs to you!
I love this so much. I make myself stop all of the time before I utter that phrase… it’s not always possible to drop everything right then but when it is I will try to accomodate whoever needs me.
This is super good! (And I really did read it after “just a few minutes” 🙂 –told ya on twitter–haha.)
I am totally guilty.
Even as I read it my boys were asking me to take them to the beach and I said “just one more minute!”
So with that, I will go take my kids to the beach!!
aloha
I am so happy to have come across your blog! It’s so uplifting! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Lifting up prayers to the Only One who can hear!
Psalms 34:4, 6-7 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. (6-7) This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
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Great blog post! I do feel like it is a game of “catch up.” Thanks so much for the reminder to just stop every once in a while…so who cares if the dishes don’t get done right away. You don’t get do-overs for that moment in time.
This is so encouraging: progress, not perfection. I so identify with the “in a minute” story, and needed this inspiration today. Thanks for being vulnerable, and using your moments as teachable moments for others. Blessings!!
I incorporate your blog as part of my morning routine, helps me tackle the day with three littles under 2! You are so encouraging and I need the daily reminder to be intentional with them. I say in a minute way more times than I should, I’ve been catching my self and taking.the time to sit down and answer their needs. Thank you!!
I incorporate your blog as part of my morning routine, helps me tackle the day with three littles under 2! You are so encouraging and I need the daily reminder to be intentional with them. I say in a minute way more times than I should, I’ve been catching my self and taking.the time to sit down and answer their needs. Thank you!!
I took a sticky note and wrote “Just 15 min? 15 minutes is better than No.” and stuck it to my computer screen. I’m trying to always remember the “15 minute” rule, in that – most things they want to do doesn’t take more than 15 minutes of time to do. If I give 15 minutes daily to each of my kiddos, that’s a solid hour a day – but at least I’ve done a minimum of individual time with each of them….and sometimes that card game they ask me actually takes 20 or 30 minutes, and that’s okay 🙂 Remembering the real answer and trying to work in the time to do the things they want to do is definitely important!
I needed this reminder so much. My older son is the one that gets “in a minute” the most because my little doesn’t have his capacity for waiting. You helped me realize how much I abuse that capacity. Thank you so much. I actually stopped what I was doing and wrote about my plan to start being a better mommy today. He deserves more.
amen, amen!!! love that quote at the end too. so it is with all of life! thank God He is working in us. phew- that gives me hope. : )
This broke my heart and made me cry. I am that mom. I put my kids for everything else. Some days I can’t wait for them to go to bed, just for some quiet and to not hear the word Mom. So sad for my kids.
LOVE IT!!!! I’ve noticed myself doing this SOOO much and am trying to just STOP and do as well!
Ooooh yes, I love this. It seems we are learning the same sorts of things these days.
Those little URGENT things so clutter my day… as do the fun (online!) things and the intellectual things and the things that FEEL more important than reading that same book one more time… but THEY are important, they ARE… because they NEED, not just my work and my physical presence, but ME. My love.
I think you will appreciate my post over at allume on this topic:
http://allume.com/2012/07/why-store-moments/
Emily Cook
http://www.weakandloved.com
i needed to hear this. Thank you!
Thank you. I needed to read this today.
I needed to read this one today. Thanks!
I say “in a minute” a lot during the day and there have been many times I realize after my kids are sleeping that “in a minute” didn’t happen… I’m glad I read this and it put the reality of it in perspective.. I will have to watch my “in a minute”s. Thank you!!!
*tears* Yes. Thank you
I read this post when it came out last year, and knowing you had posting it, I searched for it again today since I am saying in a minute alot to my little guy who just wants his mommy to play trucks with him. Will be more intentional about following thru again!
I know its an old post but “alldaymom” linked it today and…. thanks. 🙂
I lost a day today, and yesterday, an the day before. We lost our dog. I had to put her down… kidney failure. It sucked the air out of my soul. I lost all track of time and can’t function. I’ve watched my child fall asleep on my bed two nights straight. I feel I missed so much time grieving, but I needed to. I will do my best because you see, even though this is about our kids, those furry pets are like that too,, my poor sweet dog had a lot of wait a minutes… For walks or a time to sit on my Lap and I’m regretting it being so busy. It breaks my heart . I will try harder. Thank you For bring you. Tomorrow I will try to be part if the world again. I will read that book to my
Kiddo. I will try to laugh.