This was written four years ago after my whole family got sick with influenza and my then little Samuel ended up in Children’s Hospital for almost a week. As I was reading archives I came across this sweet post and I realized how time has passed and how much these words matter. Enjoy and capture those moments. ~Rachel
I was beyond tired.
I had come home from the hospital to a home with sick children. My sweet family tried to straighten up for me – and did a lovely job – but they’d all been sick for the week and the to-do list with urgents was overflowing. By Sunday night I was so exhausted that I didn’t need anyone telling me I looked tired because I simple knew it. I had cleaned, wandered way too long in Target trying to buy groceries but because I was so tired I was making loops going back for things I forgot, made dinner, and done some laundry. At that moment, all I really wanted to do was sit on my couch and do absolutely nothing.
Carry me upstairs.
It was my five year old, Elijah.
Carry me upstairs to bed, momma.
Not tonight, Elijah. I am too tired.
And I looked at his face, his little face that I missed terribly while I was in the hospital, and I saw the look of disappointment cross it.
It was a mumble, a hush little mumble from the boy who just wanted me to carry him up the stairs. And then it hit me – so quickly that it surprised me – I simply don’t know how much longer I will be able to carry him up the stairs and place him in his bed. Time keeps moving, even when I’m tired and worn – and he keeps growing.
So I picked him up, the little boy who is lighter because he was sick with influenza as well, and told him I loved him and carried him up our stairs to his room.
The days are short.
I almost missed that moment, that two minutes of me giving of myself and being mom, that sweet window in time, and opportunity, for me to carry him up those stairs to his bed with the blue blanket with cars and trucks on it that was faded from so many times in the laundry. Yes, I was tired, but I almost let that tiredness push the tender moment of motherhood by.
I know how tiring motherhood can be.
I know about the bumps, the bends, the tough moments, the blips out of normal, the spills on the floor, the constant cries for mom, and the giving giving giving giving that you must do every single day. It’s exhausting and often feels like you do the same thing day in and day out and day in and day out again. But, I’m whispering to you a reminder today – catch the opportunities, the memories, in the midst of the busy.
Carrying them up the stairs.
Reading a story.
Cutting their bread into triangles.
Writing a sweet note.
Rocking them to sleep.
Sitting next to them and hearing their dreams.
Those little gifts are nestled in the fabric of busy.
And often, sweet mother, it means that you give just a bit more – like me being so tired and still getting up and picking up Elijah – for you to realize just how sweet a moment you were just blessed to have received.
I love you momma. I missed you.
Elijah brushed my hair from my face and looked me in the face and in his sweet blues were the tiniest hints of tears. Tears from a little boy who was trying to be brave, but knowing his little brother was in the hospital last week, and knowing that his momma was there with him. Tears from a boy that just, plain and simple, had missed his mom.
Oh, Elijah, I love you too. And I missed you mega.
(Mega is my word for telling my kids how much I love them.)
Thank you for carrying me up the stairs, momma.
An opportunity. Caught. One that was almost missed.
You brave and giving and loving and tired mother can find those sweet moments within your day as well – even in the busy.
Today, today may you see those blessings of yours with eyes that are awake and celebrating the gift of normal. Stop the agenda, the to-do list, and take time for them.
Those up the stair moments with the head on the shoulder will not last forever.
Catch them now.
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Beautiful. You have a way with words. I am so happy you were able to bring that sweet boy home.
I can relate to your post. I get so exhausted being pregnant with our sixth. I am not sure how I will manage when I get further along. I am 18 weeks right now and climbing those stairs with little ones is difficult – to say the least.
You made me cry for the second time (in a positive way) and I have been reading your blog only since a short time! What a great way of looking at parenthood, a way I try to do myself. I love how you listen and hear what your children say to you, while they don’t always tell you those things with words. It makes life and exhausted life beautiful. Thank you.
Well said! It was a hard realization to find that I’m never going to be rested enough and things will never be perfect, but beautiful moments can be fleeting and captured and appreciated for what they are, whenever they happen. So happy you get to be back home again.
i needed this today…thank you, thank you, thank you:)
Beautiful. I am cherishing the last two weeks of my time at home with my 2 girls before returning to work. i needed to hear this today. Thank you for the reminder. And I am so, so glad Samuel is at home again.
Thank you all. Yes, it is so good to be home – overwhelming – but lovely. I think last night when Elijah looked at me I just wanted to sit, but was given this gift of realization that at that moment he really needed me and missed me. If only I could keep that perspective more often.
Blessings on your day.
Oh, I SO hear you! I’m 7 months pregnant with our third, and our other two are 2 and 3. Yes, I am tired!!! And too often I’m telling the kids that I’m tired and then I’m regretting it later. Thank you for this important reminder!
This made me cry. More often than not, I wake up feeling like I am drowning in my to-do list before I have even had breakfast. It is so important to stop and remember what’s really important. But it’s hard.
Thank you for the wonderful reminder.
Another beautiful and powerful post Rachel. I am so glad you and Samuel are home and I will continue to pray for your family to recover from this awful flu and your health to be restored.
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This brought tears to my eyes! Thank you again for reminding me to appreciate and take time for the little things in life as they truly are the big things. You are such an inspiration to me, Rachel. I am so thankful your little Samuel is home and you both are able to be with the rest of your family. Blessings to you all!
This blog gives me goosebumps … (And courage)
Beautiful reminder for this momma, thank you much!
Your blog never leaves me without feeling compeletly recharged! Thank you for sharing your day to day real “mom” life.
Thank you so much. It’s true, these moments are so precious. God bless you and your family.
So happy all is well again with your li’l guys!
You’re right about these moments. That cute li’l smile and hug is all you need to recharge your batteries.
Being a parent is the best gift anyone can get!
You did it again! Made me cry!
Know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers!
Isaiah 43:1-3a But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel…
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I literally just found your blog the other day and this is really the first post I’ve had time to read. Oh you spoke to my heart. I needed to hear this so badly because I have been so caught up in everything but the moments. Thank you for giving me tears of conviction and hope 🙂
Thank you for writing this post. The title flashed through my mind last night when my little one asked me to tuck her in. Blessings of health for your family!!
Very touching, and just the reminder I need to love on my 5yo. She’s such a sweetie and if I don’t make myself slow down and savor her the time will disappear and I will not be able to shrink her back into a giggly pink princess.
Continuing to pray so very hard!
Psalms 28:1-2 Unto thee will I cry, O LORD my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit. Hear the voice of my supplications, when I cry unto thee, when I lift up my hands toward thy holy oracle.
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Gorgeous Rachel. I too think about how short this time will be while they are still small enough to snuggle, or still small enough to sit on my lap while we read a story, or still small enough to…I keep finding out how true it is that this time passes quickly. Thanks for helping me remember to catch these moments.
All my best to you in 2013. I’m glad to have you pinning to the Positive Parenting board on Pinterest, it is always a delight to dip into your blog and I feel you add so much value to that space (and to the world at large ;))Thanks for sharing yourself!
So beautiful it brought tears to my eyes…