It’s time to be real. To pull back the masks and write about life. Reality.
That sometimes it’s hard.
You know, those days, right? Or weeks? Or months? Those times when it feels as if you’re racing and yet your legs are burning and the finish line isn’t even visible?
That’s where I am now. Not all the time, but I’ve been struggling with overwhelm. Too much to do. Perfectionism. That desire to have things “just perfect” creates discontent. Plain and simple. If the house isn’t how I want it, then somehow I’ve given myself selfish permission to be crabby — snippy — short-tempered. Instead of working with joy entitlement slowly crept into my demeanor.
What to do?
I’m trying to find the balance — the tension in joy.
So I keep on trying to praise, to be thankful. I’m not perfect, not at all. I’ve got my moments where the overwhelm of daily life tries to pin me down. So beyond praising I’ve had to fight. I’ve had to fight myself, my selfish desires, and view life from a global picture. And to honestly realize that it will be hard. Sometimes I feed myself these lies that everything can be just easy if I had this, or my house looked liked this, or simply because I deserved it. Nope. Being a mom and a wife is work. Hard work.
I’ve been thinking only of me.
And all that me think makes me fall over. Tumbling.
So today, I will pick myself up, and start again.
With joy.
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12
11 comments
I could have written this post today…I am right there with you. Trying to dust off and be restored. I LOVE that verse…it is one of my favorites.
It sounds like you are doing well. It is a struggle for all of us. But we can choose to make the best of what we have. We can choose if we are going to have a good or bad day. When I start falling I start counting my blessings and that has been effective.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings
Janet
I love that Psalm! I would tumble today and start over, but the laundry would probably catch me! I”m just giving myself permission to be okay with the mess. I am so much more thankful for dress up time with my boys than clean laundry! Good for you Rachel.
Love that verse~ I all too often fall into the perfectionist trap and become waaayyyy less that God intends me to be in all that striving for *something*. Thanks for the moment, the reminder. We as wives and moms and children of God, for that matter, are so much more effective when submitted to him! Thanks, Rachel!
Sounds like part of my post on running the race…I have been where you are, still at some points there and I am sure I will be there again…part of the long distance race of raising our children.
Blessings as you find your balance for this season
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#1, I had to laugh at the picture – Peanut has the exact same onesie, and is often in the same jumbled position.
#2, this was encouraging. I realized that I’ve been in a slump recently – allowing my circumstances to dictate whether or not I’ve been joyful, rather than finding my joy in my salvation, in my relationship with the Lord, and in the role He’s called me too. To be blatantly honest, there have been way too many days where I’ve woken up and thought, “I can’t do this,” and wished it were bedtime again. I had to repent for agreeing with this – it’s most certainly not from God, and most certainly not how He wants me to be.
Thank you for being transparent.
Ugh – I can relate, Rachel. For me, I find my discontent and frustration comes when I lose a spirit of thankfulness and I’m failing to spend time in the Word like I should. Funny how those things directly correlate… Appreciate your words especially today.
i’m really good at just thinking about myself. what a major bummer!
thank you for walking through the battle of finding balance in front of us. i learn a lot from you and you are helping me find balance, too! i love how the Lord can encourage and help me through His children, like you!
hugs to you, sweet rachel!
So is the photo of one of Samuel’s attempts at walking?
Continuing to pray!
Philippians 3:9-11 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.
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I’m with you, too. I was just thinking that today felt like a rip-roaring success merely because my kids were fed, bathed, and all present and accounted for. Somedays, like today, that is worthy of celebration. My husband returns from deployment in about 3 weeks and I have gotten so caught up in my countdown that I’ve neglected to cherish each of these moments with my kids. So I let everything fall to way side. And I pray for strength, pray for humility, and pray that my heart not be toughened when I feel that the road is rocky.
And also, I have found that knock knock jokes with little ones are an INSTANTANEOUS mood lifter 🙂