So, I had a post sitting in my dashboard ready to be shared with you today. In fact, I referenced it yesterday – it’s called Bridges – In and Out Moments. Yet, tonight, as I sit in the coffee shop where I sit every Monday night while I wait for my daughter Chloe to finish teaching ballet, I realized that instead of checking emails and putting finishing touches on what I thought was to be tomorrow’s post that I’ll be writing a new post.
About influence.
Here’s why. Today, as I was wandering around the yard with Elijah and Samuel, my little Elijah, who is four, came running over to me quite excited with a dandelion telling me he got that baddie. He was referring to the dandelion dangling from his hands.
He’s watched me. He’s seen me out in the yard picking those weeds, putting them in a bucket, and dumping them out. He’s learned through me that I don’t want those weeds in my yard.
Last year he would pick those then beautiful dandelions and bring them in for me to put in water.
I ruined it.
To him, now, they are simply known as baddies.
Do I want dandelions? Well, not really. I’m sure my neighbors in my suburban home wouldn’t be too thrilled if I let that weed overtake my green yard. So I spend time throughout the day plucking those plants out of the soil. And Elijah? He watches. And, he’s learned.
We mothers we have a great deal of influence. And often we forget the power of our words and of our actions and how much our children watch us. Thankfully, the little dandelion fiasco has redeemed itself – now Elijah loves to go around the yard with me and hunt for the dandelions for me to pull. But, this whole incident got me thinking – if simply watching me pick weeds has the power to influence a little one’s mind what else have they learned from me?
Have they learned that I turn on the computer first in the morning?
Have they learned that I sigh when I have to get them one more cup of water?
Have they learned that I’m too busy?
Have they learned that I don’t read my Bible or pray when I should be?
Have they learned that I grumble too much?
Have they learned that I talk too short with my spouse?
What has my influence silently taught them?
If we are to be mothers of intentionality then we simply must be aware of our actions and our choices. We cannot complain that our teenager is on her ipod too much when our teenager sees us on our computer. We can’t complain that they yell if we yell. We grumble and then they learn to grumble. We complain about work and they begin to complain about work.
They learn from us.
They are watching us. Constantly. They are learning. Every day.
Let us strive to be a generation of mothers who are intentional with our time, our thoughts, our words, and our attitude about parenting.
Wake up, dear friends, wake up.
You have great, and incredibly important, influence.
*****
Today’s journal, which is a free download, is a very intentional look at possible patterns that your children have learned from you. Remember Day 1 {if you don’t have the download click Awake} when you listed five things you want to change? How many of them are things that your children have emulated? And know this – it DOES NOT MATTER how old your children are for you to make a change.
I was convicted myself. My children matter.
There’s also an activity to do with your children regarding media time. I am not a parent who thinks we need to isolate our children from media – we live in a culture that embraces it – rather I am a parent who strives to teach my children to be responsible with media and aware.
There are three days left. I have been blessed by this journey. Thank you for walking it with me. To subscribe to finding joy simply click Subscribe to finding joy by Email. And please also consider joining the finding joy facebook page as well.
8 comments
Our children need to know they are loved. Too often today, I see parents being ‘intentional’…yet it leads to a sense of entitlement in children…they are entitled to have everyone and everything meet their every need…vs having parents being intentional in mentoring them to grow into leaders and servants. Great post – and yes, we do have great influence….we need to ensure we are Leading them to a life of service and leadership….not entitlement because Mom did everything for them…and i know that’s not what you are saying here. Our actions need to reflect our love through the way we disciple them every minute! Loving your series!
This is your best post yet!
i agree with phyllis. : ) this was certainly purposed for today, my dear! i’m glad you changed your mind.
patterns matter. thank you. this is so important for me to read.
love you.
Yes, I kind of cringe to think of the influence I have on my children. And I know that sometimes the Lord deals with ungodly traits in my life by letting me see them reflected in my children. 🙁 Thanks for this reminder to influence our children for our Savior!
I also agree with Phyllis, this is my favorite post of yours. Everytime I come here I leave smiling and determined to do better by my son. Thank you. xxx
Great post, Rachel! As I listen to my preteens and teens grumble, I realize (nearly too late) I have largely been the culprit. I don’t complain about the same things, of course, and I’m certain my complaints are more worthy of the whining (sure, right!). But the point is I wish someone would have brought the consequences of innocent negative talk to my attention years ago. Your children are listening, my friends.
Thank you for writing this. God has been teaching me about influence lately. Even though this series is written for mom’s it’s still encouraging for me as an older sister. Much love and many blessings!
-Madi
You always make me think!
Stopping by to let you know I’m praying!
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
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