I am writing to you.
Yes you, you the mom in the midst of this story we call motherhood. You the mom, who might be like me and have a messy story or you might have a beautiful story or you might be happy or you might be struggling or you might just be in the middle of normal. But you.
You, the mom right in the midst of motherhood. You are the mom that I want to remind, on this day, that what you are doing every single day matters.
Sure, you might nod your head and just tell yourself it’s just the dishes or just picking up toys or just anything. I’ve done that – that dismissing of motherhood and all of the giving that one most give. In fact, I do that all too often, that not looking at the day in and day out of all that motherhood entails and simply brushing it off as just another day. I’ll tell myself that this is just what happens and just what we do as mothers – this giving of self over and over and over – and all the nitty-gritty stuff doesn’t really matter.
It’s easy to lose sight of it all as you get lost in the often times monotony of the everyday.
But, truth is – you matter.
You, the person behind all the busy of motherhood. You, the person that is easy to forget. You, the person that might just have forgotten how deeply beautiful and important you are – especially right now.
And more than that – being a mother and all that you do every single day makes a difference. A huge difference. These are lives that you are changing. Real, dear lives that look to you for love, wisdom, support and comfort. Those children need you.
All of those things – diaper changes, driving to soccer, sleeping on a hard floor next to a toddler who had a bad dream, wiping spaghetti covered faces, talking about not eating too much sugar, folding load after load of laundry, helping with homework, pumping up bike tires, reading books again and again, pouring cereal, memorizing math facts, cleaning up the backyard, Â laughing when you feel like crying – all that stuff matters.
It matters.
You could just keep saying that it’s just what a mom does, and not look at the impact that mothers truly have on lives. But, today, today I encourage you to embrace how much all of that real life motherhood stuff that you do everyday matters. Look at that list of things that you do with fresh eyes – eyes that are giving yourself grace and seeing that even if you have a messy life that it is profoundly beautiful – knowing that despite the ups and downs and ins and outs and good days and bad days that what you are doing really makes a difference.
What you are doing is not a small thing.
It is a life changing, life nurturing, life growing real thing.
These are the things that matter — when you’re in your last days you’ll remember this time. This will be the time that went so fast. Your children will remember it too – even if they never ever say anything. They will remember those meals that you slaved over, those times when you sat with them at night, the hours in the car, the listening to their dreams, all of that amazing stuff that is so easy to dismiss as not important.
Do you know I make my teenage boy’s bed every single day? I make it because I love him – despite what we are going through, despite moodiness, despite it all. I want him to come home, to see that bed made, and somewhere know and remember how much I love him.
That’s what motherhood is. It extends from those days in the rocking chairs to days in the car waiting outside work or school for them. It extends and gives and grows.
It all matters.
So, sweet wonderful giving and important mom who needed to be reminded that she matters, because after all you made it this far in my letter – this is your reminder.
Now, go back to all you are doing – your cleaning, working, driving, nose-wiping, cooking, clothes folding, everyday things – and hold your head high. Motherhood matters. More than having the perfect house, the perfect body, the perfect planning schedule, the perfect kids, the perfect anything.
You are a game changer. A life changer. You are their mother.
This is why you matter.
~Rachel
24 comments
Thank you so VERY much for this! Being a mom of 5 ages 6-19, with a husband that works out of town and is only home 1-2 weekends a month, I ALWAYS think that what I do does not matter. I have no paying job, no “real” friends other than other parents whose kids share the same school. I feel like I have nothing to contribute. I live and breathe for my kids. They are ALL that I have and ALL that I am. I have often thought what will my kids remember about me if I passed today? The mom that is always saying pick up your toys, brush your teeth, finish your dinner, do your homework, its bedtime….all of the every day things that I tell them. I truly hope that they remember how much I love them and how much I want them to achieve and believe that they can do whatever they set their minds to and to NOT settle for second best because they deserve THE best in life. Sorry for rambling, but I so REALLY needed this today!
Becky
Becky, Everything that you listed – all those everyday things – those things make the biggest impact on a life. You do matter. Greatly.
Thank you for your comment.
Bless you today.
Rachel
A friend shared your post on FB and I’m so glad you did. I needed this today – this week – maybe even this month. Thank you SO very much for such beautiful words.
Thanks, Andrea. Bless you today!
I’m not going to lie: God is using you in a mighty way. I am going through a REALLY dark time right now, struggling to see the light in even the brightest situations. But your words speak right to my heart. And JUST when I need it, you put up a new encouraging post. And sometimes I spend an hour perusing your Dear Mom letters and just crying. Because no matter how many kidlets we have, what kind of struggles they have, we are Moms…and literally the only people that truly understand us is each other. Thank you for this (and all) post(s). Know that as you’re typing out these words, God is using them to impact someone who is just…really struggling…in that moment. Be blessed.
This made my day. I have laundry, dishes, kids to pick up, my mom’s apartment to get ready, diapers, dinner, and countless other things I can’t keep track of. With my husband working weird hours I get the brunt of the work around the house coupled with being a step mom and a mom of a 2yr old tornado I somehow lost myself worth in the whirlwind. Thank you for pointing me back to it. Blessing for you and yours they are truly lucky to have you.
…simply a quiet and humble “thank you”…
I had to remind myself of this very thing last night. It’s so easy to get bogged down in the doing that we can lose sight of the meaning. But those little seemingly mundane things are actually meeting people’s needs and THAT truly matters.
Thank you for your beautiful reminder 🙂
Thanks for writing this – so timely as today was one of the not so bright and shining moments of motherhood. His mercy is always fresh and when I come in humility to him and my children we can be renewed and refreshed.
This is what I wish could tell my mom so that she would really listen. She thinks she has “nothing” after 25 years of mothering. he is one of the best, most human examples of a mother that I know.
I will show her this.
Thank you.
God bless all the wonderful, encouraging and inspiring words you put out on the internet for people that want and desperately positivity in their lives.
So beautifully said!! YOU matter. And you are a beautiful soul. 🙂
Thank you!
What a beautiful post Rachel! I have been an empty nester for many years now, but how well I remember those days of “full time motherhood.” Blessings!
Thank you so much for such encouraging, healing, and inspiring words. Your words truly MATTER and make a difference in many mom’s lives. Thank you for your mom letters.
Continuing to lift up prayers!
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
My email address
Thank you for this post. A friend shared it with me, knowing I’ve had a few rough days. What I needed to hear is exactly what you said. I will definitely be following your blog now!
Today has been a hard day, and for the most part it has been my own nose that I’ve been wiping. (For some reason Mommy’s don’t get sick days.) Thanks for the lovely reminder.
This is a beautiful post… I will be sharing on my social media channels. Thanks for the gentle, kind reminder.
Thank you for this reminder. We think of motherhood mostly when our children are young and I think we mothers of teens ready to launch somehow think that the term no longer applies. I don’t want to forget that this is still my job. That he is still forming his identity as a young man, even though diapers and messy spaghetti faces are long behind us. I am grateful to be reminded that now that he is 17 that I am mostly helping to shape what kind of man he will be, what kind of husband and father he will be, and the conversations we have are so openly honest about all of those things. There is so little time left! I miss the bathtime snuggles with him wrapped in the little towel with the doggie ears, but so appreciate his young wisdom, when he shares a truly miraculous “adult” thought on the car ride to the high school.
Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you for this. I needed this today, more than I think I ever have. I just happened to stumble across it. Funny how things like that happen. Again, thank you.
The boy is really cute!
Thank you for blessing us, again and again. God bless you, Rachel!
lovely post I found out about this blog from a friend’s Facebook link.