7 Ways to Have Individual Time with Your Kids

One of the emails and comments that I repeatedly receive is regarding ways to cultivate individual time with your children. First, this is a hard thing to do simply because we have those crazy to-do lists that take up the majority of our time especially if we’re not intentional about slowing down and taming them. That’s the first thing – be intentional. But, beyond that, I’m listing seven strategies to help you cultivate individual times with your kids. They need it. You need it. It gives you, the parent, a sweet glimpse into their hearts.

1. Schedule it. I know, seems obvious, right? But, it’s a fact. If I don’t schedule time with my children individually then often those times, those moments simply will not happen. So pull out your month to-do list, or your calender, and try to add some times in their with each of your children. Does it have to be big things? Absolutely not – often it is simple little things that matter the most.

2. Be spontaneous. Include them. Even though we’ve got stuff scheduled often the best one on one time that I have with my children is a result of me being spontaneous and just doing it. Last fall, early in the morning, I woke my photographer daughter up and we piled into the freezing car and drove around the Minnesota countryside so that she could snap pictures of the sun rising over the frozen October fields. That morning? Ranks as one of my most favorite times I’ve had with my daughter. It’s because I just acted, just did, embraced that moment.

3. Include them in Your Daily Activities. This goes back to the idea of becoming the “yes” mom again. I cannot tell you how many times they ask to help me – with making cookies {of course}, my chores, etc,….and I, the busy mom, tell them not right now. Now is the time moms. It really is. Look at what you do through the day and try to find a way to have each of them help with you one project. Not only are you getting one on one time, but you are also training and teaching them.

4. Take them With You. Yes, I’m talking about when you go to the store, or run that errand, or are running to get coffee. Not all the time – as I really do believe that moms need a break {and truthfully, often for me, going to the store is my break} – but some of the times. Simply step back and take one of them with you. In my family, whoever gets to go to Costco with me makes for a best day. {I seriously think it might just be the samples…} So, moms, look at your schedule and see if you can find times where you can take one with you and then make it special. Let them pick something out, take them to Starbucks, talk with them. Those moments matter.

5. Have them Plan It. One of the newer ideas that I have, especially for my older ones, is to have them plan a date with me. Give them a dollar amount {or none – it could just be going to the park or swinging in the yard} to spend and a time limit. Then let them plan. And when you go on your date – put your social media brain away. Instagram a couple pics, but after that, this is your time with your child. Cultivate and invest in that relationship.

6. Quality is better than Quantity. Yep. Still true. Even today. It’s better to spend a good solid intentional hour with your child versus an entire day where you’re distracted and feeling frantic about not getting your to-do list finished. Make the time that you do spend together as intentional as possible. Listen to them, laugh with them, go to see the movie they want to see {and learn, like me, to love their movies as well – like Avengers – grin}, let them wander the toy aisle as Target without a time limit. Just do it. Spend the time.

7. Slow Down and Give Grace. This is for you. Because, seriously, not every single intentional moments will be amazing. It simply won’t – that’s real life. What truly matters is that you are aware and awake and are trying to figure out these moments. One last thing, write a list, keep a tally, a journal, anything to help with the it’s my turn or it’s not fair moments that will probably result when you take only one with you. I’ve done that – and it helps to pull the record and let everyone know that it’s as fair as possible. So slow down, manage the to-do list, and give yourself grace when the moments don’t work out exactly as you’ve imagined. And sometimes? Sometimes those silly moments captured are the most beautiful and remembered.

These are just seven of my suggestions for cultivating individual time with your kids. Be blessed!
What are some ways that you like to carve out this time in your schedule?