mom myth 1: You’ll finish laundry. (or your to-do list)
mom fact 1: No, no you won’t. At least probably not for the eighteen years per child in your home. And perhaps not even after that. You might get “caught up” on that pesky laundry, but trust me, it simply will not ever ever be finished. Unless your children are like mine and decide that wearing the same outfit is the way to go. Yeah, we’re working on that, but honestly, it happens. As far as the to-do list? It’s a rolling in motion never to be completed task. Add some items on there that you can cross off. Preferably not laundry.
mom myth 2: Books teach sleep schedules. (and other parenting issues solved in twelve steps)
mom truth 2: They do not. They give ideas. Sleep and night and trying to get a child to sleep through the night or go to bed or any of it can be an incredibly hair pulling out challenge. I know you will hear from parents who will tell you that their child never had an issue with bedtime. I think they wrote the books. For the rest of us here’s the truth – learn from the book, try the stuff and stock up on patience. Unlike laundry this will end – when they are teenagers you will have the exact opposite problem as now you will need to undergo the task of waking them. As far as the rest of the books? Get ideas but adapt for your family. Wait. For each kid.
mom myth 3: Coffee will stay warm. (also known as you will find time for you every day)
mom fact 3: It just doesn’t. I think I need to heat mine up at least three times per cup. That’s a sure sign of motherhood. That giving giving giving giving forgetting about the things we love and going back to them giving. My temporary solution? Thermos for the coffee. Then I set it down and forget where I set it down. Chances are it’s in the laundry room… As far as finding time for you? Little moments matter. An extra five minutes in the shower. The long way home. That cat nap. Wait, that doesn’t happen. You get the picture. 🙂
mom myth 4: Kids keep their rooms clean.
mom fact 4: They just don’t. They’re kids. It doesn’t matter if you have the best organization system in the world and cute totes and so on. That folded laundry that you finally put away? If they’re looking for a shirt they are like a cyclone rummaging through that drawer. And as mine have gotten older I’ve started to realize that part of being a kid is making a mess – despite my aversion to messy rooms. Making messes is part of leaning and creating and, you guessed it, learning responsibility when it’s time to clean.
mom myth 5: You’ll only feed healthy food.
mom fact 5: Okay, this might end up like the fruit cup debacle here, but the truth is that for 98% of us moms we’re going to have times when we are simply grateful for little fruit snacks in bags. Or for the Easter candy that we raid after they go to bed. We do our best. You do your best. I once had a friend tell me to follow the 80/20 rule – 80% good for the 20% of freedom. So some nights here it’s homemade and some nights it’s gluten free overpriced chicken nuggets and OreIda fries. Once again – do your best.
mom myth 6:You will never utter the classic go-to parenting phrases.
mom fact 6: Accept it now – our of your lips will probably come the words because I said so. Just face it now, deal with it and move on. Same with when I was young or any of the classic thank goodness they’re there parenting phrases. It’s the follow through that stops issues. But don’t stop using because I said so because I said so.
mom myth 7: Potty training can be easy.
mom fact 7: Please refer back to the one about sleep can be taught via a book.
mom myth 8: Savor every moment.
mom fact 8: Sometimes there is way to much pressure on us moms to embrace every moment. Well, the plain and simple truth is that not every moment is awesome. There are moments that are just plain hard (see number eight) and the pressure to suck the marrow of joy out of everything is exhausting. Give yourself grace. Let’s just go ahead and list non awesome moments: potty training, throw up, bodily fluids anywhere, fighting kids, overwhelm moments, when someone stops over and your house looks like you haven’t cleaned or done laundry in a week and so on…. Now, look for the good tucked in-between.
mom myth 9:Socks, shoes, and any other pair item will remain a pair.
mom fact 9: From me, the mom, whose children have successfully lost the match to shoes, boots, socks and gloves. I used to think they were super talented and then I heard that so many of you also have this issue of motherhood.
mom myth 10: You’ll never do all the things you told yourself you’d never do.
mom fact 10: Yeah, I’m there with you. I thought that I’d be the mom whose kids don’t know McDonalds or that we’d only have learning type of toys and that summer months would be spent with moments of super creative exploring. The truth? They know McDonalds a little bit (tough when you can’t eat gluten) and we have electronics (which they figure out when they were little) and summer month is a mix of everything. Motherhood is a great deal of letting go and learning new things and giving oneself grace. This goes along with all those parenting phrases you never thought you’d utter.
mom myth 11: When they get older it gets easier.
mom fact 11: Truthfully? Whatever stage you’r in has it’s challenges. And anyone who tells you just wait until this stage or when they get older it gets easier and all of that is just trying to tell you something to help in the moment. But honestly? When you’re potty training or helping a child learn to drive or doing homework or trying to get them to go to sleep or folding your laundry while they’re fighting over a wii remote or whatever you’re doing in that moment it’s challenging. Motherhood is the roller coaster ride – sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s peaceful and sometimes it’s awesome and so on. Hold on. Tight.
mom myth 12:You will always like your children.
mom fact 12: Truth: You will always love your children. But, there are moments when it’s really hard to like a raging three year old who is throwing a tantrum in Target because you said, as you always say, no to the toy place conveniently at eye level even though you talked about the expectation before you went in. It’s okay. Deep down we love them like crazy. Maybe we don’t like the choices they’re making, but that? That’s where you being a mom is truly amazing – you suck it up, pick up the child, pay for your food, buckle them in, count to ten, and move on. That and all the other mom moments like that are what makes you awesome.
So there you go twelve mom myths of the hundreds debunked today.
Make sure to add your own or share with a friend who needs to hear a mom fact today. It just might come from you. 🙂
~Rachel
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11 comments
Mom Fact #13 “it Worked for me.. ”
Mom Truth #13 Parenting advice comes in many forms, from many people (even those who don’t have children!) What works for one person, does not always work for another. There is nothing wrong with that fact. Take what you want from others suggestions, but never feel obligated to make it work for your child or for you. We are all have our own way of doing things.. As long as our kids are healthy and happy… who cares how we get there. Don’t judge, advise.. and listen.. *best advice I was ever given*
Holy moly — I love LOVE love this. It’s awesome. Thank you Christina – you have blessed me today. 🙂
Rachel
You have blessed me many times. And it always come at the right moment. I have struggled with post partum depression for so long now.. And on some of my darkest days.. Your blogs shown me some light. Allowed me to forgive myself and move on. Thank you Rachel..
Sweetest blessings to you, Christina. May you find great joy today.
Rachel
Yes! Yes to all of this. As a homeschooling stay-at-home mama in rural Alaska, I cling to your words on my hard days. Thank you for everything you do (and write) to inspire us on the hard days. I adore you!
#12 was totally me this past weekend with my 9 year old when he was having an all out meltdown over his dad telling him to go get on his pajamas. Melt. Down. Can’t even describe it acurately but I am sure most parent’s here can imagine. I told him that I always love him but I don’t have to like him right now. His response: “Well, as long as you still love me. That’s all I care about because I don’t like you sometimes either.” Smart kid. 🙂
So true. Sometimes those moments are the most trying of all.
Rachel
Myth #13 I have to be an awesome Pinterest Mom.
Ohh my this one gets me! We are all given different gifts and not all of us are the cute & creative type. We do our best to make moments special but let’s not miss out on making those moments while stressing over how “Pinterest perfect” our child’s birthday party will be. I shamelessly grab the $1 items at Target for goody bags & buy pre-made items. I love making my child’s birthday cake though. So that’s where I spend my time & effort. I’ll admire other’s creativity while not demeaning my own self worth. We all have different talents. Find yours and recklessly embrace them! Perfection is the biggest myth of Motherhood so smile through every slapped together goodie bag! I promise our kids won’t remember what we gave out at their 5 year old birthday party for party favors! Mommy On Ladies!
Mom myth #14…the mom on register 6 is judging you because you kid is getting processed food and does not match….
This is something I struggle with. Wanting the appearance to be more but in all honesty who cares! That mom isn’t judging you, and she isn’t thinking bad things about you. She is thinking just like you, am I making it today? She doesn’t care that your son is wearing black pants with a navy shirt and brown cowboy boots and eating non organic fruit snacks, she like you is thinking let them be kids and let them be little! Instead of judging she will give you an encouraging smile that Lets you know as mothers we are in this together and each parental unit has there own method to the madness and she gets it! She gets that it’s not worth the fight to get that 3 year old boy to match, or to tell that 5 year old daughter that her dress up shoes and tiara are not for public – that today you choose to let that kid be a kid and express themselves!
Sorry but not every mum loves their kids ok!
A lot do obviously, but not all!
I’ve been posting links to your stories on FB and sharing them in emails with my friends. You are like a fairy godmother. So grateful to you.