the mom excuse that needs to stop

Let’s call this your wake up call.

Please stop excusing taking care of you.

You take care of your kids, right? I know, or at least I guess, that you’re like me and schedule those well-child visits and dentist visits (that seem to roll around all the time) and eye exams. We help our kids with homework. We volunteer. We make them brush their teeth and eat good food. We teach them respect. How to clean their room.

And yet, so often, we fail at us.

Yes, I’m going to use that F word.


At us.

And I know, if you’re like me, you’ll come up with eight-five reasons why you haven’t gone to the doctor or started to work out or changed the eating thing. And after all, if you’re talking about feeling tired, you’re probably like me an will chalk it up to “just being a mom.” Well, I need you to stop. And I need you to be the person that looks at not only yourself but also your friends and pushes each other to take care of yourselves.


I’ve been tired, like worn out walking up the stairs tired taking a couple naps and needing coffee to survive tired for months.  And yep, I reasoned it was “just” because I was a mom. I could list ALL of the REASONS I thought I was so tired. All the mom and work reasons. But do you know the real reason?

I have iron deficiency anemia.

And do you know that I was unaware, or at least semi-unaware to the severity, because I put myself on the back burner. I did. Even after ending up in the hospital seven months ago for bleeding issues which pointed to anemia. But I got busy. Moved cross country, van fire, life, kids in school and so forth. Every. Single. Reason. To. Forget. Me.

But I didn’t take care of me. I kept pushing, kept fighting, kept dismissing everything.

But here’s the real deal – don’t our kids DESERVE a mom at her best? 

Let that sink in for a bit. Because it’s sunk in deep. And don’t think I’m on a soapbox just for you – I’m preaching to myself. My kids had a mom who excused her symptoms and worked at half capacity. If it was my kids feeling this way I would have had them in a clinic and would have been fighting for answers.

So stop making excuses for not taking care of yourself.


I mean it.

I know it’s not the fluffy glittery blog posts about motherhood decorated with mantras of you can do it and cheers. This is, instead, a kick in the pants wake up call for you. This is me looking and you in the eyes and reminding you of your deep importance. And that importance means the you take care of you. And I’m passing the buck from you to tell your friends too.

Some tired is not normal. It simply isn’t. My tired, with a ferritin iron level of six, is not normal. My body is not functioning the way it was designed. Not because I’m a mom, but because I let life and all the busy of life create an excuse for me to ignore me.

Please don’t ignore you anymore.

You and I have one life to live.

Take care of you. Visit your doctor. Get your well check up. Paint. Run. Laugh. Live your life with vibrancy. Start working out. Not tomorrow, because it’s always easy to put your importance on tomorrow.

But today.

Your kids need you. This world needs you.

Take care of you.

No more excuses.


ps. since writing this I’ve still battled my iron deficiency anemia and yesterday ended up having surgery to have a uterine polyp removed which they think was part of the cause. I could have sat on the side burner, could have put everything off, but my kids need me healthy. Is surgery convenient? Never. But not getting to that point could be worse.

9 Responses to “the mom excuse that needs to stop”

  1. June 14, 2017

    Susan Adams Reply

    Thank you for that firm encouragement. Today someone on another site called me some nasty things, and it made me sad. You gave me something nice to think of. We moms are worth the time we need and energy we need to take care of ourselves.

  2. June 14, 2017

    Kim Rotondo Reply

    You are always talking right to me. My Mom passed away this week and I have spent 6 months taking care of her and my dad. At the same time taking care of my kids and family and working as a Physical Therapist assistant. I am a caregiver at heart. Now I need to take care of myself. Thank you for always being real.
    I am looking every day for your book.
    Take care of you!

  3. June 14, 2017

    Jasmine Auvil Reply

    This is so important. I have had an iron infusion and in three weeks I felt so good! I couldn’t believe what it felt like to have a normal person’s energy! I didn’t get to stay there long because of other health issues (but that’s not normal). I look forward to hearing how it makes a difference in your life!

  4. June 15, 2017

    Rachel M Reply

    Wow!!! This is ME too!! I am a Rachel too 🙂 Last year I got really sick and ended up in the ER with a blood ferritin of a 7. I had a blood transfusion and stayed over night. I had no idea I was anaemic!! And yes, a lot of it was my fault. Not exercising and eating right. I have since started a great eating plan but hadn’t been exercising. I will start today!!

  5. June 15, 2017

    Tracey Romero Reply

    When my children were young I heard this same advice and an analogy that put it into perspective for me. If you are going down in an airplane and need that oxygen mask, you have to help yourself first so you can help those kids. You are the most important thing to them and you need to come first.

  6. July 13, 2017

    Katya Reply

    Inspiring reminder about motherhood. You can’t pour from an empty cup, indeed. Thanks for sharing!

  7. July 18, 2017

    Lacy Reply

    I’ll never forget something said in our labor and delivery class. It’s the only thing I remember actually. The instructor was talking about the day we bring baby home. The importance of baby being secured in an already properly installed car seat. Then she said, “Make sure you are also properly buckled up. If you’re in an accident on this day or any other going forward, protect yourself too. Otherwise your children, who you made sure were as save a possible, are now orphans because you didn’t give yourself the best chance at a good outcome.”
    I never forgot it and I think of it also when I see parents riding bikes with their kids and only take He kids have helmets.
    Great post! Let your alarm be our wake up call! Be well!

  8. July 28, 2017

    Vicki Reply

    Yes kids deserve mom at her BEST. And you are worth taking care of YOU. I would try to avoid the transfusion and work on natural supplements and diet. You know we do have long term studies that show nutrition supplements work because most of us don’t eat optimally every day. It’s very simple to choose a program, but you have to believe and commit to sticking to it if you want to see results. I love that I have 4 grandchildren 3 and under and I can keep up with their abundant energy at 55. Live younger longer!!

  9. July 31, 2017

    Jennifer Phipps Reply

    I have been fighting the low iron battle for years. I run around a 7 on a regular basis. I would love to know what worked for you. I am so tired of being tired. A tired that unles you experience it you can’t even explain it. Thank you for your reminder to keep searching for answers because we owe it to ourselves and our family!

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