sixty “you might be a mom” facts

Some facts. And, yes, permanent marker mustaches are picture worthy.

1. You will never catch up on laundry.
2. There will always be at least a dozen missing socks.
3.Β It is perfectly acceptable to run the wash one more time if you forgot to put it in the dryer.
4. Crayons in the dryer are always bad. You can facebook that one and always get sympathy.
5. The knees on hand-me-down jeans will not make it to the third boy.
6. Whispering when the tension is high helps. Sometimes.
7. No one will ever just drop by when your house is spotless.
8. Everyone will just drop by when it looks like World War 3 happened in your living room.
9. It doesn’t help to straighten up after they leave – even though I do that every time.
10. No one really cares if your living room looks terrible – it just makes us all feel normal.

11. Just one more minute will quickly turn into a half an hour.
12. Books can only be read with squeaky voices sometimes.
13. Even with a chore chart expect an argument over whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher.
14. If bedtime is scheduled for 8pm then they’ll be in bed at 8:30.
15. Make bedtime 7:30 pm then.
16. Have on your speed dial a list of friends that you can call for those days.
17. Including days when you don’t know what’s wrong but you just know it’s one of those days.
18. Never run out of toilet paper.
19. Never run out of paper towels and napkins.
20. And never ever ever run out of all three on the same day.
21. Have your good friend on speed dial for the days you run out of all paper products.
22. Don’t ever expect to drink your coffee by yourself.

23. If you wear makeup expect the kids to ask if you’re going out.
24. If you do your hair, expect them to find your purse.
25. The easiest dinners will always be the favorite.
26. Pencils will vanish in your home.
27. Markers will not. They will all simply dry out because the caps have been left off for so long.
28. You will forget to silence your phone at church, at the doctor’s office, and any other quiet place.
29. Monkey Preschool will be on your phone’s homescreen.
30. Angry Birds will also be on your phone’s homescreen.
31. Your five year old will hold the record on Angry Birds.
32. Don’t fold the clothes for your kids – they’ll rummage through them.
33. If you do fold them, like I do, then expect them to not look folded.
34. It is normal to have individual shoes from a pair in two locations in your home.
35. Zippers will break on winter coats. Or they won’t even zip them.

36. If you say, look at that mess they will say, that’s my amazing creation.
37. Learn to ask, what is that? first.
38. Brush up on your math facts.
39. You will do the let me smell your breath to check if your kids brushed their teeth.

40. You will master the art of flossing other’s teeth.

41. The birthday cake that you saw on pinterest will not look the same when you make it.
42. The party favors that you saw on pinterest will not look the same when you make them.
43. You will still pin birthday cakes and party favors.
44. You still feel young but when you start to run, play just dance, or all of that you will get winded.
45. You might look a bit silly playing Just Dance. Play it anyways.
46. Your kids won’t believe you survived highschool without a cell phone.
47. If you’re reading this and you went to highschool with a cell phone then I’ve just dated myself.
48. The mornings where you wake up early will be the mornings everyone wakes up early.

49. Even though you’re exhausted it doesn’t mean you will fall asleep.
50. Save your Mother’s Day cards. Handmade are the best.
51. Even though you might not hear – thank you mom – you are still very loved.
52. Look your kids in the eye, smile, and tell them you’re proud of them.
53. Look your kids in the eye, smile, and tell them you love them.
54. Ten minutes after dinner someone will tell you they’re starving.
55. You will tell them they’re not starving, but they will insist that they are.
56. You will have mastered making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
57. At five pm expect major tension and immediate crises in your home.
58. At five pm say your prayers of thanks for Disney Jr.
59. Each day is a new day, but still hide the permanent markers.
60. And of course, you matter.

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23 Responses to “sixty “you might be a mom” facts”

  1. March 2, 2013

    Γ…sa Reply

    Love it:)!! Thanks again for your fantastic description of motherhood:)!
    Love from Åsa in Sweden

  2. March 2, 2013

    Anonymous Reply

    Minutes after you arrive home from the grocery store, someone will say, “There isn’t anything to eat.”

    • June 10, 2015

      Erin Reply

      Or they open the fridge (which is full of food) and say there isn’t anything to eat. My teenagers say that all the time.

  3. March 2, 2013

    Renee Reply

    I LOVE THIS LIST!!! Thank you for helping me to smile today! I am a mother of nine and yes, yes, and yes to all that you listed! Sometimes we need to make lists like these and step back and read them and just remember how very blessed we are. I really do love being a mom, thanks for reminding me today.

  4. March 2, 2013

    Meleakua Reply

    Very cute! πŸ™‚ Love the pics too!
    You might be a mom if:
    ~you no longer care if you leave the house with food on your shirt, paint in your hair and marker all over your body!
    ~you have mastered the fine art of changing a diaper on a child who is running across the room.
    ~you pull your boobs out in public places without even getting Mardi Gras beads for it

    Have a great weekend! πŸ™‚

  5. March 3, 2013

    Alecia Reply

    Oh thank you for a good laugh today!
    -you know you’re a mom if you get dressed at all today, you’re the last one to do so.

  6. March 3, 2013

    stephplus4 Reply

    All I have to say is this is a fabulous list. I am so glad that I found your blog. It is wonderful and keep up the great posts!

  7. March 3, 2013

    Jennifer Reply

    Laughed the whole way through…so true in our house! Glad to hear others are the same way πŸ™‚

  8. March 3, 2013

    Alyvia Reply

    Love.

  9. March 3, 2013

    Jen Reply

    You are awesome. This is so completely spot on! I’ll be sharing this πŸ™‚ because lots of mom’s need it!

  10. March 3, 2013

    lmworley416 Reply

    Oh these made me laugh!
    Our only true hope is in the Lord!
    Romans 15:4, 13 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. (13) Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
    My email address

  11. March 3, 2013

    Jennifer Peterson Reply

    Awesome list I loved the wear makeup and expect them to ask if your going out haaa!!!

    • June 10, 2015

      Erin Reply

      If I wear make up it is always who am I wearing it for.

  12. March 4, 2013

    Noelani Reply

    Hilariously true! Happy weekend friend πŸ™‚

    ~ Noelani

  13. March 4, 2013

    Donielle Reply

    I cannot say enough how much I loved this post. It actually brought tears to my eyes. This was the first time I have read your blog. A facebook friend posted a link to this entry and it encouraged my heart in so many ways. I am a mom of 5 ranging in age from (almost)7yrs to 5 months. It is exciting to read a blog from a mom of 7. Thank you for the encouragement and for being able to put into words what I seem to feel on a regular basis.

  14. March 4, 2013

    lmworley416 Reply

    The more I look at the main photo the more it makes me laugh. The position of his hand! And, obviously, the “mustache.” So funny!
    Praying right now!
    Psalms 86:1-4 Bow down thine ear, O LORD, hear me: for I am poor and needy. Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my God, save thy servant that trusteth in thee. Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily. Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
    My email address

  15. January 18, 2014

    Sandy Reply

    Your posts always seem to be just what we need to hear. Thank you for allowing God to work through you in this way!
    You might be a mom if your idea of dressing up is changing into clean “kid free mess” sweatpants.
    You might be a mom if your idea of date night is a movie in pjs, under a blanket fort and asleep by 8:30.
    Blessings!

  16. January 21, 2014

    iza Reply

    I love _all_ of these
    12. Books can only be read with squeaky voices.
    12.1 : and it’s always the worst book (the one you hate) that’ll be asked for, again and again

  17. September 12, 2014

    Gwen Reply

    This is a great list! Thanks for the laugh. We go through the ten minutes after dinner someone us starving every night! Loved it! Have a great day!

  18. November 23, 2014

    Andria Reply

    Mine is: you will never go to the bathroom alone again. You will not even try to shut the door anymore.nwhats the purpose. Your spouse will not understand.

  19. April 23, 2015

    Sari Reply

    Love this!
    – You know your a mom if you are the last one to eat
    – You know your a mom if you stay up late to put the finishing touches on that trip/party/project for the next day

  20. April 24, 2015

    Judy Nelson Reply

    No matter how child proof you think your house is, they will still find something to pop in their mouth that they shouldn’t.
    You keep poison control on speed dial.
    You are a professional at first aid.

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