let them end the hug

Tonight I want you to try something.

I want you to let your kids end the hug.


Yes, very simple, but incredibly powerful.

You see, tomorrow before the sun rises I’ll be on a plane flying away for work and so my day has been filled with stuff to do. Check lists and laundry and making sure the week’s special clothes for my kindergartener’s winter dress up week are picked out. And with the crazy chaos of leaving comes tension and my mood getting a bit frazzled.

I’m going to miss you mommy.

That is what my above super cute six year old told me as I was racing between point a and b or maybe point e and f. Wherever it was – I was rushing.

I’m going to miss you mommy.

He said it again. And this time started hugging my leg.

So I stopped.

(I mean I kind of had too because I couldn’t move.)

So I stopped my frenzy, bent down and hugged him.

And I could feel the weight of his little body rest in my shoulder and the little sobs of his heart knowing I was leaving. So I picked him up, walked to my couch and just held him.

Instead of hugging and saying love you too and you’ll be great and I’ll miss you much I just was there. In the moment. Just being there for him. He stayed there. Hugged me. And then, he stood up, looked at me, hugged me one more time and kissed my cheek.

I love you, mommy. 

And he was off.


He got what he needed, my friends.

That’s the power of them ending the hug. That’s the gift of us just slowing down and showing up for them in that way.

So when you read this remember it.

Remember to let them end the hug. Not all the time. But give them that blessing.

You will be so blessed.

And their hearts full.


Oh yes, by the way, that hug was probably less than a minute total. But that minute was so much more priceless and important than whatever was between a and b.

7 Responses to “let them end the hug”

  1. January 29, 2016

    Sharon Reply

    That’s so beautiful!

  2. February 1, 2016

    Joy Thacker Reply

    What a wonderful insight into your little guy’s heart!

  3. February 5, 2016

    Sarah Reply

    Such a simple but powerful thing! Thank you for the reminder to soak up those sweet moments

  4. February 19, 2016

    Forest Rose Reply

    Oh my! This just filled my mama heart! I’m so doing this with my kids now!

  5. June 5, 2016

    Nancy Reply

    I tried this, posted about it on Facebook, and have tons of others promising to do it as well. Fantastic post!

    Here’s my story:
    So the most amazing thing happened this morning.

    I read an article that suggested to let your child “end the hug”. It was a really great and sweet article about how the child will hold on until they get all of the love and comfort they need. Adorable, right? But I figured I probably already did that. Regardless, I tried it. I asked Cooper to give me a hug, while I was determined to not be the one who pulled away. And, I was surprised by how long it was!
    But the best part came afterwards. After he had left me to go play basketball on the over the door hoop where he practices endlessly, he came right back and asked for another hug. So again, I just held him loving every single moment, and again not pulling away. He told me he loved me and gave me a kiss. Then he went to shoot hoops again.

    And 5 minutes later…he asked for another. 🙂

  6. June 22, 2016

    Jacki Wilson Reply

    What a wonderful article and since reading it I have tried to put it into practice every day. Thank you for that. At the risk of sounding self promoting (Sorry!)- I wrote a little childrens book about mommy missing them when we travel for work. If you are interested it’s on amazon. Thanks again for a wonderful article. https://www.amazon.com/Its-ME-Mommy-Misses/dp/1533023239/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1466653422&sr=8-1&keywords=it%27s+me+mommy+misses

  7. December 17, 2016

    Louise Reply

    Gosh so weird I intuitively did that with my 6. Year ol tonight , as we were hugging each I thought i should pull away first
    Then I randomly saw you post
    Some confirmation
    Thank you

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