This week I ran into a snag in the Konmari method. Yeah, you know last week I did all my clothes and all of that, but then I discovered moving to papers and other stuff led to a new pile of stuff. Emotions. Lots and lots of emotions that I need to get rid of and deal with. And if you’ve read my posts from the week (they’re listed at the end) you’ll understand.
Cleaning emotions is huge. In fact, the biggest hack, if you can call it that, would be applying the Konmari method to our lives not only in physical form but also mentally. (If you don’t have the book grab it here -> the life-changing magic of tidying up)
So I asked my friend Dan to share his truths on this week three. Because even though he wasn’t planning on working through this with us, well, he truly did. Read his words. And do – like really DO – the challenge at the end.
Here are Dan’s powerful words:
I haven’t read the book.
But I have gleaned the central tenet and am trying to change the view by which I see the world.
I have 34 things on Craigslist right now, and 11 on Amazon.
The whole idea that life should bring you joy has changed me for sure.
I remember, a few years ago, finding a box of old treasures in the attic and being excited to open it up and show the kids. They were super excited because what kid doesn’t get pumped about opening a package? Inside I took out the carefully wrapped trophies I’d acquired over the 40 years of my life. 4th Grade Soccer Team, 6th Grade Basketball Holiday Tournament 2nd Place, Field Day Participation, 5K medals, Pinewood Derby Winner, Tee-Ball “Pirates” . . . so many memories of childhood I’d kept in that box.
And the kids looked at the ones they thought were cool. The Science Fair trophy sat there untouched. Without a plastic gold person on the top kicking a ball or something, the kids just didn’t care.
For 5 minutes I lived in the glory of those trophies. The kids had lots of questions about the teams and wins and positions I’d played. It was fun.
Then dinner was announced.
And the trophies were left there, some dusty, in a heap by the box. Some of that styrofoam popcorn strewn about the floor.
And it was over.
I sat there knowing they needed to be put away. But I couldn’t think of any reason to put them back in the box. What would I save them for now? 5 minutes of my grandkids’ time 20 years from now? So I got rid of them. And I have never regretted it. They had a purpose and it was fulfilled.
I no longer needed to move them from room to room, house to house, state to state. Carrying that box would have brought me no future happiness. Instead, I just kept carrying it, and with it the emotions, memories and stuff from the past. (That’s me, little by the way…)
So this month Rachel has been doing the Tidying up Letting Go Challenge and it has really resonated with me. With as much crazy as there is in this world, why would anything in my control be something that causes me to cringe, cry, anger, frustrate?
If I control it, why don’t I create a world that brings me joy?
There surely is enough stuff out there, I don’t control, that will keep the balance.
I didn’t realize Rachel’s challenge would have me dissecting the joy in my life, but I really started looking for things that made me roll my eyes. Thus, the title of this post, and with that I started to “unfollow” people on Facebook. Unfriending . . .that is stressful. I don’t want to do that. But unfollowing! Wow, that is life changing. That means I still can be friends with them, but Facebook won’t show me their stuff. It’s glorious. And groups . . . if I didn’t want the public to know I left the group, I just turned off all notifications. Otherwise, I just left the group.
That made my feed better immediately.
It made my time spent on social joy-filled and instead of searching through a cluttered news feed I was able to spend that time on moments that kept balance.
And then I did one more thing. Some of the people I really do love, I just never saw their updates anymore. So I went to their page and made them “close friends”. And there were a few people I really wanted to learn more about, so I made them “close friends” too.
And voila! I have a Facebook experience I love again.
But I didn’t stop there. Unroll.me let me auto-unsubscribe from a bunch of clutter in my Gmail. And apps I didn’t use made it hard to find the stuff I did. Gone. Life Better.
I challenge you to do the same.
But don’t think I mean trophies and Facebook and Gmail.
I mean Joy. Choose Joy.
This week’s challenge:
1. Continue with the Clothing Purge if you have not started. Remember this takes time. Read last week’s post for encouragement ->
2. KONMARI YOUR FACEBOOK FEED. Or Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat or any social network. Follow Dan’s steps. If you don’t want to “unfriend” simply unfollow. And fill your feed with ONLY WHAT YOU LIKE. And by the way — I stopped the ON THIS DAY function on Facebook. While it brought some joy, it brought more hard memories up that I had also moved through.
3. Treat yourself. No joke. You’ve been working hard. Get a latte, go out with a friend, watch a movie. But do something for you. Tell me about that. I want to celebrate your joy.
4. Thank a friend. Tell her/him that you appreciate the joy they bring to your life and that you appreciate them being there for you.
You CAN DO THIS.
Oh yes, and read the section on papers, books and mementos. Don’t be surprised if it brings much emotion up — they really did for me. As promised, read these posts from this week for proof of my brain and emotional cleaning.
So proud of you all.
Konmari hack your life! Choose joy!
ps….in it all remember to ask this: