To live fearless means to decide that today is a gift, that the past was a lesson but to let it go, and that tomorrow is an amazing opportunity.
To be a fearless mom means to decide to rise up, to give, to fight for your heart and to not allow all the baggage and fears and worry define worth. Because deep down—you are enough, you are worth it, you make a difference—you just need to live knowing that truth. And that? That is why I’ve made this list of traits of a fearless mom. Because that is you.
You just needed the reminder. At that? It’s in these Eight Things Fearless Moms Do.
1. They see where they stood up—not where they fell down. It’s easy to forget the strength in standing up and trying again and again and again. When we live fearless we can see the beauty of us in the every day—where we wake, give and love. That is you. Every single day. Don’t doubt me, because right now, you are reading these words and because you are reading them means that there is another day where you pushed through. In fact, your track record for making it through the bad days is 100%—don’t forget that. Ever.
2. They focus on the good. I’m one to talk as I’ve spent the last year in a funk, and when one is kind of down it’s easy to focus on the hard stuff and become pessimistic. But to be fearless it means committing to seeing the positive in one’s day and instead of going to the worst or negative choosing to see and believe in a positive future. So tonight I want you to look at your day and to find ONE good thing that happened. Just one—and it can be that you weren’t late for school—and celebrate that good.
3. They know their kids will make mistakes. Motherhood isn’t for wimps. And our kids WILL make mistakes. And those mistakes don’t define our mothering ability. What matters more is how we react to the mistakes, how we try again and again (see one) and how we love even in the imperfection. Oh yes, and because they know their kids will make mistakes they also know that their friends kids will make mistakes and will love and support their friends in those times as well.
4. They are REAL. I know, I know, real? Especially the idea of being in a world that embraces a faux authenticity? But, yes, they are real. In order to live fearless it means that the worries and comparison fears that we might have get pushed to the sidelines and instead of apologizing for the mess we welcome our friends in. Only then do we begin to reignite the power of community over perfection. So be honest, truthful and the type of friend that listens and doesn’t judge.
5. They learn. Over and over and over. Motherhood (and life) is truly a lesson in learning. No one was a mom until they became a mom and yet sometimes I think we live in a world that expects us to have all the answers before we begin. Instead, what if we allowed ourselves the grace to not know the answers but rather to stumble around, try our best and give what we can knowing that, once again, love and showing up matters.
6. They do versus talk. It’s good to share about the hard stuff, but if we live in a culture of just talking, just complaining, just lamenting and not doing then we live stuck. Fearless is without baggage. So pay attention to your actions. Are you doing and pushing for change? Or are you always thinking that tomorrow you will get to what you needed to do today? Life will pass by whether you decide that today is the day you want to change or not. And over the last week a friend of mine was diagnosed with stageIV lung cancer. He is 46. And a dad. And that? That makes me want to live hungry—to do versus wait until the stars align in a faux utopian perfection.
7. They do not forget themselves. Remember the phrase about oxygen on a plane—how the parent is to put it on before the child. That goes for moms too—in every day life. We cannot live lives on the back burner letting the candle burn on both ends because then, my friends, it will equal burnout. Fearless moms know that taking care of themselves is just as important as getting everything finished on the list. Please please give yourself the permission to take care of you every single day and to do something that makes you smile.
8. They know that it takes a village. For most of history women and moms didn’t do it alone. They worked in community with each other. When I was in Haiti all of the children sat in the front of the church and all of the moms kept an eye on them. There was no judging, no comparing, but rather a group effort to teach the kids the church way. And yet, in our lives here we go through the motions without asking for help or giving help. Let’s change that. Let’s be a generation of fearless moms ready to help and willing to humble when one needs help. That will change lives.
This is being a fearless mom.
Over the next weeks I’m going to be writing about being fearless and in that writing I will be sharing simple tasks to do every single day. I hope you join – you can find the tasks on my facebook page below.