A collection of typical motherhood days, their frequency and what to expect.
1. I am Mom and Hear Me Roar Days. These are the days when you are on top of your game. They’re the days when your kids do extra homework, when the CrockPot was started the night before, when people drop by and your house is spotless (extra star bonus there), when your hair is perfect without a shower, when there is no laundry to do or fold, when your bed is made, and when the weather is perfect and there is a bonus rainbow even though it didn’t rain. Frequency: Rare. This is why Kate Perry sang that song. Play it loudly on those days.
2. Keep the Keurig Running All Day Days. These are most of the days of motherhood. Whether it is coffee, Starbucks (which gets it’s own category of coffee delight), tea, chocolate, etc… these are the days when you need to rely on that extra little boost to get going. These are the days with littles hanging on or deadlines and all you can do is think thank goodness for caffeine. Or maybe that’s just me. Frequency: Often, made worse if you run out of coffee.
3. Are you <insert any word needed> Kidding Me? Days. Monday fits in this category. Or days where your kids get in the truck and say oh yeah, I guess I did have math to do (hello, my morning) when you’re already late and the drive is only five minutes. Or the days when you open the fridge and the pickles are spilled and left there. Or your kids are fighting because the other one looked at them with their left eyebrow a bit raised which alerted them to the fact that they did indeed take the one Lego guy with the matching arms who also still had hands attached. Frequency: Once a week
4. This Should Be Part of Hallmark Days. These days can be either good, bad, or full of drama that resolves brilliantly within four minutes. You’ll know it is a Hallmark Day if you start to hear soundtracks in your head or any of Jason Mraz’s music. Hallmark Days often make good Facebook status updates due to the words like you’ll never believe my day or I thought I was going to lose it today and then all of a sudden I opened the door and there were flowers delivered and my kids made me hand drawn notes and so on. Frequency: A couple times a year but never ever ever after watching anything on the Hallmark Channel.
5. Throw Out All the Parenting Book Days. These days happen here: Anytime you bring home a newborn. Anytime you deal with a three year old who won’t stay in their bed. Anytime you have a tween. Anytime that you realize that whoa whoa whoa this parenting book was written by another parent and that’s their perspective and they’ve never dealt with a child like mine. Anytime you start to realize that the parenting books are great dust collectors or make good booster seats in case of need. Frequency: A couple times a month. Or anytime the kids are in odd years.
6. Dear Pinterest I <again insert any word needed> Days. Feel free to add your own adjective – there are no limits here and no judging. Sometimes Pinterest can be the life saver for us moms – I mean, come on, if one needs to know how to make paper straws or how to paint your kid’s wall in seven fairly easy steps – it’s the go-to source of awesome. Sometimes Pinterest can be the curse to moms – I mean come on who actually can make cake pops that work (and if you do let me know because I need your help) or do cute lunchbox additions and fun shaped sandwiches everyday? Pinterest is there to make us feel awesome or like we can’t do anything. So choose when you go on wisely. Frequency: Whenever you type Pinterest in your browser or open that app. Be careful. You’ve been warned.
7. It feels Like Monday Every Day Days. Again, a fairly normal day. Typically felt on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Monday really does get a bad rap. This is also felt any month of the year when school is in session. The strategy for this day? Accept it. Move on. And go back to that Keurig brewing liquid gold or to post pictures and threads about the craziness of Monday. Note: Rolling over and accidentally turning off the alarm when you think you’re hitting snooze is never advised. Frequency: Four times a week
8. My To-Do List is Larger than Google Days. No explanation needed. Be prepared to battle. Frequency: 363 Days a year
9. How Come She Has it All Together Days? Ah, yes, the comparing days of motherhood. They’re the days when you run to the grocery store real quick thinking no one will run into you and that’s the day the neighborhood group decided to hold the meet up that you weren’t invited to. Or the days when you peruse Facebook and everyone else appears to be on number Day Number Four — Hallmark Days. Perspective, friends, perspective. Remember. We all have coffee, Pinterest Fails, and many many many it feels like Monday Days. Frequency: Anytime we compare or decide to ever run anywhere real quick hoping to run in and out without being seen.
10. Thank Goodness for Netflix Days. Anytime there is sickness, especially sickness involving puke buckets, in your home. Or the days when the toddler cannot sit still and you’re attempting to accomplish just one thing. Or days of excessive rain or freezing temperatures. I think Netflix was secretly created by mothers for mothers. It’s like the gem in the field of things to do. And there is no guilt over Netflix, mothers, none. I release you of that today. Frequency: Once a week or on those moments when there was no sleep and you’re craving a 6.5 minute nap.
11. The Day You Got 18 Minutes to Yourself Days. According to this article in the Daily Mail moms average about 17 minutes of alone time a day. So, I’ve decided that anytime we get 18 minutes or above it’s a great day. Can you imagine? 18 minutes? I don’t even know what I could do in that time. Read a book? Get an extra scoop of Ben and Jerry’s? Call a friend? Sleep? Wait. I’d sleep. Frequency: Rare. Unless you count taking a long shower and saying “I can’t hear” you as part of the minutes. Or like this picture of me taken at the train station while I waited for 15 minutes.
12. The I Love Being a Mom Days. Don’t overlook them. And don’t expect them every single day. Just like don’t ever fall for the savor every moment in life type of thought stuff (because, truthfully that’s just impossible and will make you slowly go crazy as you try to figure out how to love the moments of potty training, tantrum throwing in the store, sassing back, and never ever ending laundry). But, but, but… these are the days where it feels like the stars aligned and the gift of motherhood hits you and you get teary. Savor them. Frequency: Varied. But expect it late at night when you go to check on the totally crazy preschooler who is now sleeping like an angel.
13. When “This is Impossible” Becomes Totally Possible. Listen. Motherhood isn’t for the weak. I know, I know, we didn’t know what we were getting into when we signed up for it (and we’ve already established the truth about those parenting books). But most days when we fight, give, love, clean up, work, and do it again and again we’re making what felt impossible be possible. These are the awesome brave crazy love them forever with all of me and powerful days of motherhood. Let’s just call it the most extraordinary in the ordinary. Get your superhero cape. Frequency: Pretty much every single day. We just forget how <insert powerful adjective> awesome motherhood is – but no more – rock on super mom.
Those are my Thirteen Types of Motherhood Days derived from my experience dealing with can’t you be a little bit quieter, doors slammed, car driving, spaghetti noodles stirring, lawn mowing, button up buttoner, sock sorting, kissing them on the top of the head days of motherhood.
Feel free to add your own as I’m sure I forgot at least a dozen.
Oh yeah, that’s a day too. Forgetting things.
Perfectly normal friends, perfectly normal.
Want to talk about your “typical” day? Join the awesome community of moms on Facebook.