words our kids need to hear. {the series}

I am proud of you.

I uttered those words to my Eli, my sweet and precocious and busy and challenging and fiesty, Elijah, after a  busy and extremely tiring day with him – the rule tester. It was just the two of us, sitting outside in 96 degrees on the deck, waiting while I watched the citrus lime marinated chicken pieces turning black much too quickly on the grill.

He was exhausted.

He had a hard day – limits were pushed and boundaries enforced and he was just a bit mad. I scooped up that almost five year old of mine and held his hand and sat with him on the faded green deck chair. I just held him, and didn’t care too much about the smoke from the grill, but instead cared so much about the hand belonging to the little boy that was resting in my hand.

Elijah, I am proud of you. I am proud of all the good choices that you made and how you helped me out today.I know you had a hard day, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am proud to be your mom.

I whispered those words to the blond little boy curled in my lap, the little boy who was probably expecting to hear that he needed to go to bed or that he needed to make better choices.

I know he heard them. His head snuggled further, his sweaty hand still gripped mine, and his sobs of frustration from losing a toy due to poor choices gradually settled down. Then, there, in that oppressive heat he let out a sigh and fell asleep – knowing that I, his somewhat weary mom, was still very much proud of him despite the bumps in the road.

I am proud to be your mom.

Do you tell your children that you are proud of them? It’s so easy to forget, to lose sight of the gift of motherhood that we’ve been blessed with. To those littles and middles and bigs we are their mom. There is no one in this world that can ever replace or take our role. Yet, the frenetic schedule and challenges of being a mom can suck joy and perspective right out of our motherhood day.

Yesterday? That was my day. Elijah pushed the boundaries from the moment his feet hit his carpet in the morning until that minute when he fell asleep in my arms. I could have told him how frustrated I was – again – but, instead, I realized he knew that he needed to change some of those four year old choices but that what he really needed to hear was that I still loved him. And that I was proud of him and proud to be his mom.

Those words matter.

In a world where criticism and negativity and never measuring up abounds we absolutely must balance our parenting –  the needed expectations, rules, boundaries and needed no answers with the I love you, and I am proud of you, and you are amazing answers. It’s so easy to slip into seeing everything that needs to be changed, and where they’re messing up, or forgetting to do what they need to do, and focus on what isn’t working.

Let’s take time to speak words of encouragement, building up, and strengthening our bond with our kids as well. Find them. Tell them you are proud of them and that you are proud to be their mom. We are blessed as mothers to be their cheerleaders – the ones who tell them even after those hard days how much we believe in them and that we see the good and potential.

Again, those I am proud of you words matter.

They matter, they matter, they matter.

Chances are, when those little ones become adults, the fact that you told them that you are proud of them and that you are proud to be their mom will matter a great deal more than the fact that they didn’t put their shoes away or that they didn’t have a great day. The impact of hearing about how you love them and are proud of them and how your love isn’t dependent upon circumstances are words kids need to hear.

Take time.

Even in the midst of those hard, crazy, exhausting, and challenging days to speak truth.

I am proud of you. I am proud to be your mom.

Those are words our kids need to hear.

*****

Words our Kids Need to Hear will be a series over the next several Tuesdays. We, as parents, have a great role and responsibility to speak truth, encouragement, direction, and favorably to our children. My hope is that this series offers an opportunity for us to examine our words and to remember the power of our words. To receive updates via email {make sure to verify} simply click subscribe to finding joy.