why teenagers are amazing

moms with littles – even though this is about teens – this is still for you – you set the groundwork now for those teenage years right now while they are young.

I’m tired of teenagers getting the bad rap.

My Hannah turned sixteen yesterday (at the time of this writing as now she’s 19), she’s right in the middle of the teenage years, and I think she’s awesome. Amazing. I love her for where she is right now and for who she’s growing into being.

Yet, so often, even with my wonderful daughter or her friends, I see others, the world treating her like, well, she’s a stereotypical teenager. You know? Bratty and entitled and obnoxious and not really wise and flirty and up to no good. That’s what culture states – that’s what media tends to preach and expect.  I know parents are made to look like idiots on television, but teenagers are also made to look like rebellion is mandatory, almost needed, and that they’re smarter than their parents {who ironically are portrayed as not being that smart} and that they don’t really care about anything besides themselves and shopping and more.

We’re missing the fact that those teenagers, those sixteen year olds, they are the next generation. Does that mean that there aren’t the rebellious ones? Or the talking back? Or the ones that test the limits? Or get into stuff? Serious stuff? Of course not. But, it does not give us as adults the excuse to categorically take all teenagers and lump them into the category of not up to anything good.

They’re people.

a self portrait taken by my hannah

With feelings, emotions, dreams, worries, fears, goals, ideas, confusion, hopes, concerns, expectations, all wrapped into who they are – right now.

They don’t need people thinking they’re not going to be up to anything good – they need people that are willing to stand in the trenches with them, love them unconditionally, listen to them, help them, guide them, and generally want to be around them.

Sure, I love them – I’m their mother and I have that unconditional amazing mother love for all my children. But, I also want to like them. Even on those hard days when they’re pushing the limits. I want to like being around them. And that means investing time in them and getting to know them. It doesn’t mean showing up here and there and not really listening but nodding so I can get on with my next thing. It doesn’t mean yelling, cutting them down, or getting exasperated  at them anytime they mess up.

We all make mistakes.

Instead of yelling, try listening, and wanting to know, to understand, and to care – that’s how we would want others to treat us. It’s honestly about seeking to understand their hearts first. Sometimes it takes stepping back, giving them some space, and telling them that you respect them and value them. Sometimes it means being in their face and fighting for their hearts.

Imagine the power when we decide that we’re going to fight for our teens versus chalking it up to the well, what would you expect they’re teenagers or just wait until they’re teenagers phases the better our families would be.

Would you want your neighbor or friends stating phrases about you like just wait until you’re fifty or what you expect she’s the mom to a toddler? Or something like that? I wouldn’t. The just wait and what would you expect phrases suck the joy right out of parenting a teen and in fact, sets it up so that we’re going into those years with a predetermined idea of what they should look like.

Moms with teens – don’t utter that phrase just wait until they’re a teenager to a mom with littles.

Instead encourage them, talk well of your teen, and tell them how blessed these years actually can be.

Set the bar high.

Enough of us sitting on the sidelines thinking is okay for our teens to act a certain way or talk a certain way or us waiting for them to change or us blowing them off. We must take a stand – fight for them or against them.

Those littles that I write about so often? They grow. Fast. From littles to middlers to teens.

Love those teens with the same love that you have for those littles.

They, that next generation, absolutely, totally, and completely deserve for us adults to view them with eyes that are unjaded and full of encouragement. They are truly amazing! Full of life and ideas and dreams and energy – we just must slow down, listen, and value them.

Start seeing the good first.

~Rachel