there’s no guilt in rest

I’m sorry, I just have to sit here for 10 minutes and close my eyes. 

I’m talking to you today.  You, the mom, who apologizes for needing to sit for just a minute and rest. You, the mom like me, that whispers those words about rest and being sorry to need it.

You the mom that has lost the grace of giving yourself rest. Now, I’ve written about rest and cultivating rest and the need to rest and being intentional in rest, but I’m not writing about that today. Today, I’m writing about giving yourself grace in your day and being willing to embrace the need to rest.

Here’s why:

You get up at dawn – or before that. You start moving from the second you’re up, only pausing for the Keurig coffee maker to get that coffee brewed. There’s no creamer, but you keep going. You pour bowls of cereal, wipe messes, clean spills, all while unloading the dishwasher. You stop a fight over who gets to read the back of the cereal box. Again. You continue unloading the dishwasher, realize the laundry needs to get moved from the washer to dryer. Race to fix that, trip over a toy on the stairs, and clean up the landing. The phone rings, then the inbox on email screams that it’s got over 485 new messages all that should have been answered yesterday. The littles finish breakfast. Up the stairs to find clothes for them and you’re greeted with a room where your four year old, bless his heart, tried to find his shorts which always are in the bottom drawer but her forgot, and now the entire dresser is spread out over the floor. Underneath all those clothes are the three boxes of toys that were dumped out but you ran out of time sorting last night. At that moment, an older child wanders in, asks if you can drive them to this place or what the schedule is for Friday and what the plans are for the day. Someone yells that there’s no toliet paper left in the house. Down the stairs, back to the kitchen with it’s partially unloaded dishes and empty cereal bowls on the counter. It’s now eight o’clock. In the morning. And the to-do list from yesterday still sits unfinished on the counter.

The day moves like that, right? You’re busy – maybe deep down, you’re exhausted. I know I am most days. But, I keep going, keep pushing, keep working, keep driving – even though I just need to learn to sit still. Sure we talk about cultivating simplicity, and the need to rest, and we read and pin pictures of restful spots on our boards – but do we really rest?

Do we give ourselves grace to sit still and drink that coffee that brewed in the morning and read a book? Or take a nap? Or chat with friends? Or forget the agenda and read books with the littles in the morning?

Or is it met with guilt?

I should be cleaning the kitchen. There’s more laundry to fold. Those toys need to be cleaned up. When will I get the weeding done. I shouldn’t be sitting right now.

A mother who doesn’t give herself grace, and grace to rest, will soon become burnt out. Bitter. You know how it is – all those things that we have to do will begin to be the things that we grumble about. Complain. Resent. Because we’re exhausted, my friends! Exhausted. Wilted under the never ending to-do list. Then we utter apologizes for filling our tank, resting, reading, taking a nap – like we are less of a mom, a woman, a wife – when we need to rest.

I’m not talking about being lazy. I’m talking about talking about being okay with recognizing that it is good to be still for a bit during the day. To nap {gasp} for a bit while the littles nap. To read that book without worrying that you should be folding the laundry that second. To take a walk with your family and not care that the kitchen isn’t perfectly tidied up.

We all have a finish line in this life. I want to live my life, running the race, but being intentional. Filling my tank, my reserves along the way, and not feeling guilt about being, well, human. Real. The to-do list will honestly never ever get done. You know that – there will always be another list of urgent things to accomplish. Taking a rest, breathing for a bit, it won’t change the outcome of the list.

But more than likely, taking a rest and giving yourself grace in resting will change your perspective.

It’s ten minutes. Thirty minutes. An hour. In an entire day.

Mothers, there is no guilt in rest. None.

It’s needed.

Grace, my friends, grace.

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