surviving motherhood jenga

My life feels like it’s precariously stacked at times. Like one wrong move and the whole thing will tumble down and fall apart. Motherhood especially. And in that jenga state of mind I hold my breath and forget to breathe. How about you?

Yes, you. Are you so busy stacking and keeping everything in place hoping it doesn’t crash and you don’t want to make the wrong move but it’s your turn and you just want to do a good job and reach the pinnacle and yet you have to try again when it crumbles? It’s so much hanging and trying and hanging in the balance of life.

Sometimes we just need to stop, to look around and get that inhale.

Trust me, I know how hard it is to slow down and to get that inhale. I know about the to-do list with things pushed and pulled over and over. I know about dealing with kids who fight over the dumbest things – like looking at someone wrong. I know about parenting alone. I know how most of motherhood can feel like an out-of-breath adventure in trying – all the stacking and moving and hoping it’s the right move. So much of that. But it’s trying.

Did you read that?

Trying.

Sometimes we try so hard that we forget to step back and see what we’ve done – how much we’ve grown and learned and fought. We forget how to stop and just tell ourselves we are doing a good job. Is that you? Caught in a maze of expectations and dreams and laundry and homework and work. It’s like running full time sprinting and not stopping.

It’s kind of an art, this breathing and bravery and stacking found in motherhood.

It’s figuring out what works for your family – what the nuances and rhythms are that makes your family work. It’s learning from others, but not allowing others successes or joys or journeys rob you from your breath. It’s celebrating with your friends and loving them for what they’re building.

It’s in being real.

It’s in knowing that sometimes everything falls apart but that the falling doesn’t define self.

Sometimes when I run, especially in the beginning, I didn’t want to admit my asthma was kicking in. I’d just run and run and run trying to keep up and make it. And then I had an asthma attack while running. And everyone had to stop and help.  I should have simply asked for help, but more than that, I should have listened to my own body screaming inside to stop and breathe.

It’s the same in motherhood.

I don’t know about you, but so many times I don’t listen to my own need for a breath. I don’t listen to the needs to sit and watch a movie with my kids instead of doing the next thing. I don’t listen to the okays in just getting the dishes done and resting. I don’t listen because I’m so busy doing and hoping to make the right move that I forget to breathe.

So this, sweet mom, is my reminder to you.

Breathe, breathe.

You are doing just fine. You are doing amazing things for your children. You are giving and loving and caring and trying — even when you are out of breath. Trust me, the kids will grow, and they will turn out. It’s not your job to raise perfect children – it’s your job to do your best, to teach them well, and to breathe in the midst of it.

Thank you for all you are doing and building.

It may crash or tumble or look off kilter, but trust me, it’s beautiful.

From one often out of breath mom to you.

~Rachel

#findingjoy